Today was lovely !
The weather was probably as good as it's been in a few years, really sunny, and prety hot too, i was wearin shorts and sunglasses all day ! I even ventured outide to get a wee bit of a tan, whilst studyin ! Makes the revision easier to be honoust, sittin in the sun, almost learned something aswell i think !
Was really funny, because of the heat, Molly (My Dog btw) Was completely roasting ! Soo, in a moment of genious it was decided by me thhat if i looked out my old sandpit, and filled it with cold water from the hose she could have her own wee paddling pool. Well i did, in she went and it was brilliant !!
She ran about like a complete dafty, almost like a puppy again (she's nine now) jumping in, soaking everybody and stuff. She even played this wee game were she was throwin balls into the pool and then divin in and looking for them. Sooo funny to watch likes ! Haha, she's right cute !
So anyway, wat else, just watched 'A clockwork Orange' great movie ! Now moved onto 'Superman' the original, not the Bryan Singer re-do. ( I actually enjoy that film a fair bit, but i'm in a minority). It's on the now, it's great ! Brando is fucking amazing here like !
Krypton is blowing up !!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..........
Haha
Hopefully tomorrow will be sunny aswell ! Really hope so like, won't do much but it's nice, makes me feel positive, forget th enegative stuff, happy days !
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
Friday, 29 May 2009
Some Day In Pleasantville
Today was lovely !
The weather was probably as good as it's been in a few years, really sunny, and prety hot too, i was wearin shorts and sunglasses all day ! I even ventured outide to get a wee bit of a tan, whilst studyin ! Makes the revision easier to be honoust, sittin in the sun, almost learned something aswell i think !
Was really funny, because of the heat, Molly (My Dog btw) Was completely roasting ! Soo, in a moment of genious it was decided by me thhat if i looked out my old sandpit, and filled it with cold water from the hose she could have her own wee paddling pool. Well i did, in she went and it was brilliant !!
She ran about like a complete dafty, almost like a puppy again (she's nine now) jumping in, soaking everybody and stuff. She even played this wee game were she was throwin balls into the pool and then divin in and looking for them. Sooo funny to watch likes ! Haha, she's right cute !
So anyway, wat else, just watched 'A clockwork Orange' great movie ! Now moved onto 'Superman' the original, not the Bryan Singer re-do. ( I actually enjoy that film a fair bit, but i'm in a minority). It's on the now, it's great ! Brando is fucking amazing here like !
Krypton is blowing up !!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..........
Haha
Hopefully tomorrow will be sunny aswell ! Really hope so like, won't do much but it's nice, makes me feel positive, forget th enegative stuff, happy days !
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
The weather was probably as good as it's been in a few years, really sunny, and prety hot too, i was wearin shorts and sunglasses all day ! I even ventured outide to get a wee bit of a tan, whilst studyin ! Makes the revision easier to be honoust, sittin in the sun, almost learned something aswell i think !
Was really funny, because of the heat, Molly (My Dog btw) Was completely roasting ! Soo, in a moment of genious it was decided by me thhat if i looked out my old sandpit, and filled it with cold water from the hose she could have her own wee paddling pool. Well i did, in she went and it was brilliant !!
She ran about like a complete dafty, almost like a puppy again (she's nine now) jumping in, soaking everybody and stuff. She even played this wee game were she was throwin balls into the pool and then divin in and looking for them. Sooo funny to watch likes ! Haha, she's right cute !
So anyway, wat else, just watched 'A clockwork Orange' great movie ! Now moved onto 'Superman' the original, not the Bryan Singer re-do. ( I actually enjoy that film a fair bit, but i'm in a minority). It's on the now, it's great ! Brando is fucking amazing here like !
Krypton is blowing up !!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..........
Haha
Hopefully tomorrow will be sunny aswell ! Really hope so like, won't do much but it's nice, makes me feel positive, forget th enegative stuff, happy days !
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
Heads Up
Just to say, if anybody is really reading this ! That i got myself a new twitter page.
MY thinking was that the last one was just a wee bit shit, couldn't be arsed re-jigging it, so just thought fuck it and i'll get a new one !
It was ruthless and to the point..... Go Me
So aye, dreamforever92 is the name ! And the addy would be....
http://twitter.com/Dreamforever92
Cheers Team !
i'll be talkin to ya xxx
MY thinking was that the last one was just a wee bit shit, couldn't be arsed re-jigging it, so just thought fuck it and i'll get a new one !
It was ruthless and to the point..... Go Me
So aye, dreamforever92 is the name ! And the addy would be....
http://twitter.com/Dreamforever92
Cheers Team !
i'll be talkin to ya xxx
Heads Up
Just to say, if anybody is really reading this ! That i got myself a new twitter page.
MY thinking was that the last one was just a wee bit shit, couldn't be arsed re-jigging it, so just thought fuck it and i'll get a new one !
It was ruthless and to the point..... Go Me
So aye, dreamforever92 is the name ! And the addy would be....
http://twitter.com/Dreamforever92
Cheers Team !
i'll be talkin to ya xxx
MY thinking was that the last one was just a wee bit shit, couldn't be arsed re-jigging it, so just thought fuck it and i'll get a new one !
It was ruthless and to the point..... Go Me
So aye, dreamforever92 is the name ! And the addy would be....
http://twitter.com/Dreamforever92
Cheers Team !
i'll be talkin to ya xxx
Life ?
' And what of life itself, as we imagine observing it from these distances ? It is but a chance and fleeting film of blue and green upon a tiny planet, lost in a galaxy of a hundred thousand million stars, itself lost within a universe of ten thousand million galaxies. And all this matter is but an exception to the rule of emptiness; grains of sand spread thinly through a void.'
-M.Thompson
Theirs You're Cheery thought for the day kids !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Life ?
' And what of life itself, as we imagine observing it from these distances ? It is but a chance and fleeting film of blue and green upon a tiny planet, lost in a galaxy of a hundred thousand million stars, itself lost within a universe of ten thousand million galaxies. And all this matter is but an exception to the rule of emptiness; grains of sand spread thinly through a void.'
-M.Thompson
Theirs You're Cheery thought for the day kids !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
A Love Struck Romeo
I'm stupid, i know i am ! But, i feel that theirs no way 'round it. I honoustly do feel that i'll always love her. I seen her yesterday, and the two of us were so relaxed and comfertable together it actually felt like it was last year, i don't know why, but it was just like for whatever reason yesterday we both needed to feel together or somethin, we both have our reasons i suppose. I mean we even had our arms around each other at a point, it was surreal.
I'm not unhappy with the situation though, i know that it doesn't really mean anything like ! But it's sorta comforting to know that i can feel so strongly and that in her case i might aways. It's almost a powerful feeling, i know tht is a daft thing to say, but it's true ! I know that in this scenario, no matter what i'll always be there and more importantly i know that i would do anything to help, weird thing to be happy about eh ! Haha.
I just feel that short of being physically beaten over the head, with a very wet fish, nothing could make me feel any sort of resentment toward her. I don't know myself as well as i should, but.. this i'm sure of ! This is just gonna be a long runnnig thing. Like a feeling that i'll have forever, or until the space were it's currently living in, is replaced by something differant. Can't see that happening anytime soon though, i don't want it too. And even when it does happen, i know that i'll still feel strongly, for sure. No questions asked ! I'm glad of it.
The next few weeks should be interestin, a lot of things have been moving towards this point for a while now, and with the leave of prolonged absense looming, decisions are going to have to be made, it'll be made clear who realyl does give a fuck and who's just in it for selfish reasons. Fun, fun, fun ! It'll be somewhat mental though, must be said. Just aslong as nothing drastic happens, everybody should get out of it all well and good, and the hard work can start next season, so to speech.
Christ sake, this a new record for me even !! A scheme that is going to have a payoff in between 4-8 months ! haha. At least nobody can accuse me of being unprepared. Just mix it with the right degree of randomness and spontaniousity and i'm all set ! Oooh i do love playing games....
So all that's left to say is...
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
I'm not unhappy with the situation though, i know that it doesn't really mean anything like ! But it's sorta comforting to know that i can feel so strongly and that in her case i might aways. It's almost a powerful feeling, i know tht is a daft thing to say, but it's true ! I know that in this scenario, no matter what i'll always be there and more importantly i know that i would do anything to help, weird thing to be happy about eh ! Haha.
I just feel that short of being physically beaten over the head, with a very wet fish, nothing could make me feel any sort of resentment toward her. I don't know myself as well as i should, but.. this i'm sure of ! This is just gonna be a long runnnig thing. Like a feeling that i'll have forever, or until the space were it's currently living in, is replaced by something differant. Can't see that happening anytime soon though, i don't want it too. And even when it does happen, i know that i'll still feel strongly, for sure. No questions asked ! I'm glad of it.
The next few weeks should be interestin, a lot of things have been moving towards this point for a while now, and with the leave of prolonged absense looming, decisions are going to have to be made, it'll be made clear who realyl does give a fuck and who's just in it for selfish reasons. Fun, fun, fun ! It'll be somewhat mental though, must be said. Just aslong as nothing drastic happens, everybody should get out of it all well and good, and the hard work can start next season, so to speech.
Christ sake, this a new record for me even !! A scheme that is going to have a payoff in between 4-8 months ! haha. At least nobody can accuse me of being unprepared. Just mix it with the right degree of randomness and spontaniousity and i'm all set ! Oooh i do love playing games....
So all that's left to say is...
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
A Love Struck Romeo
I'm stupid, i know i am ! But, i feel that theirs no way 'round it. I honoustly do feel that i'll always love her. I seen her yesterday, and the two of us were so relaxed and comfertable together it actually felt like it was last year, i don't know why, but it was just like for whatever reason yesterday we both needed to feel together or somethin, we both have our reasons i suppose. I mean we even had our arms around each other at a point, it was surreal.
I'm not unhappy with the situation though, i know that it doesn't really mean anything like ! But it's sorta comforting to know that i can feel so strongly and that in her case i might aways. It's almost a powerful feeling, i know tht is a daft thing to say, but it's true ! I know that in this scenario, no matter what i'll always be there and more importantly i know that i would do anything to help, weird thing to be happy about eh ! Haha.
I just feel that short of being physically beaten over the head, with a very wet fish, nothing could make me feel any sort of resentment toward her. I don't know myself as well as i should, but.. this i'm sure of ! This is just gonna be a long runnnig thing. Like a feeling that i'll have forever, or until the space were it's currently living in, is replaced by something differant. Can't see that happening anytime soon though, i don't want it too. And even when it does happen, i know that i'll still feel strongly, for sure. No questions asked ! I'm glad of it.
The next few weeks should be interestin, a lot of things have been moving towards this point for a while now, and with the leave of prolonged absense looming, decisions are going to have to be made, it'll be made clear who realyl does give a fuck and who's just in it for selfish reasons. Fun, fun, fun ! It'll be somewhat mental though, must be said. Just aslong as nothing drastic happens, everybody should get out of it all well and good, and the hard work can start next season, so to speech.
Christ sake, this a new record for me even !! A scheme that is going to have a payoff in between 4-8 months ! haha. At least nobody can accuse me of being unprepared. Just mix it with the right degree of randomness and spontaniousity and i'm all set ! Oooh i do love playing games....
So all that's left to say is...
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
I'm not unhappy with the situation though, i know that it doesn't really mean anything like ! But it's sorta comforting to know that i can feel so strongly and that in her case i might aways. It's almost a powerful feeling, i know tht is a daft thing to say, but it's true ! I know that in this scenario, no matter what i'll always be there and more importantly i know that i would do anything to help, weird thing to be happy about eh ! Haha.
I just feel that short of being physically beaten over the head, with a very wet fish, nothing could make me feel any sort of resentment toward her. I don't know myself as well as i should, but.. this i'm sure of ! This is just gonna be a long runnnig thing. Like a feeling that i'll have forever, or until the space were it's currently living in, is replaced by something differant. Can't see that happening anytime soon though, i don't want it too. And even when it does happen, i know that i'll still feel strongly, for sure. No questions asked ! I'm glad of it.
The next few weeks should be interestin, a lot of things have been moving towards this point for a while now, and with the leave of prolonged absense looming, decisions are going to have to be made, it'll be made clear who realyl does give a fuck and who's just in it for selfish reasons. Fun, fun, fun ! It'll be somewhat mental though, must be said. Just aslong as nothing drastic happens, everybody should get out of it all well and good, and the hard work can start next season, so to speech.
Christ sake, this a new record for me even !! A scheme that is going to have a payoff in between 4-8 months ! haha. At least nobody can accuse me of being unprepared. Just mix it with the right degree of randomness and spontaniousity and i'm all set ! Oooh i do love playing games....
So all that's left to say is...
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Touch Of Perfection
How do you define perfection ?
I'd say it's differant for everybody, in my humble opinion anyway. The way i see it is that, to be 100% perfect,would be an imperfection ! Silly as it sounds. Y'see the best bits about people are the daft thing, the little, sorta insignificant things, that make them who they are. That is what defines a person, and makes them appealing. When you meet somebody, over time what you come to realise is that the more you get to know them, the more they'll relax and therefore you'll see what there really like, and in turn, notice their imperfections. But it's these things that will stay with you ! That's the good stuff.
And only when you can find somebody who you're able to accept and love these little character flaws will you have found perfection ! ....There concludes my theory !
Make sense ??
Naaaaa.....
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
I'd say it's differant for everybody, in my humble opinion anyway. The way i see it is that, to be 100% perfect,would be an imperfection ! Silly as it sounds. Y'see the best bits about people are the daft thing, the little, sorta insignificant things, that make them who they are. That is what defines a person, and makes them appealing. When you meet somebody, over time what you come to realise is that the more you get to know them, the more they'll relax and therefore you'll see what there really like, and in turn, notice their imperfections. But it's these things that will stay with you ! That's the good stuff.
And only when you can find somebody who you're able to accept and love these little character flaws will you have found perfection ! ....There concludes my theory !
Make sense ??
Naaaaa.....
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Touch Of Perfection
How do you define perfection ?
I'd say it's differant for everybody, in my humble opinion anyway. The way i see it is that, to be 100% perfect,would be an imperfection ! Silly as it sounds. Y'see the best bits about people are the daft thing, the little, sorta insignificant things, that make them who they are. That is what defines a person, and makes them appealing. When you meet somebody, over time what you come to realise is that the more you get to know them, the more they'll relax and therefore you'll see what there really like, and in turn, notice their imperfections. But it's these things that will stay with you ! That's the good stuff.
And only when you can find somebody who you're able to accept and love these little character flaws will you have found perfection ! ....There concludes my theory !
Make sense ??
Naaaaa.....
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
I'd say it's differant for everybody, in my humble opinion anyway. The way i see it is that, to be 100% perfect,would be an imperfection ! Silly as it sounds. Y'see the best bits about people are the daft thing, the little, sorta insignificant things, that make them who they are. That is what defines a person, and makes them appealing. When you meet somebody, over time what you come to realise is that the more you get to know them, the more they'll relax and therefore you'll see what there really like, and in turn, notice their imperfections. But it's these things that will stay with you ! That's the good stuff.
And only when you can find somebody who you're able to accept and love these little character flaws will you have found perfection ! ....There concludes my theory !
Make sense ??
Naaaaa.....
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Sunday, 24 May 2009
Gig Last Night !
Saw Nickelback last night !
Not a huge fan really, but they were really good. A good 'ol fashioned rock band i suppose, nothing too flashy. Except th eone horrificly cringe worthy sorta political moment, but the less said the better.
Couple of songs really hit a chord with me, my reactions, unknown to me, were surprisingly obvious haha. 'Far Away' and P'hotograph' are two songs that remind me of a certain time and certain people, which last night almost moved me to tears. But i was with dad and his pals, so i managed to restrain myself... Well, untill the key change chorsus in 'far away' were a wee tear or two may have dropped down haha. Who cares though eh
It's sunday now, was gonna be going out again tonight, but bailed on that, fucking knackered, only just getting to grips after my Friday/Saturday. Good times.
Oooh nd Celtic lost the bloody league today. Useless bastards haha.
Cheery bye for now. Greig nd family are on the way down methinks, gotta shower....
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
Not a huge fan really, but they were really good. A good 'ol fashioned rock band i suppose, nothing too flashy. Except th eone horrificly cringe worthy sorta political moment, but the less said the better.
Couple of songs really hit a chord with me, my reactions, unknown to me, were surprisingly obvious haha. 'Far Away' and P'hotograph' are two songs that remind me of a certain time and certain people, which last night almost moved me to tears. But i was with dad and his pals, so i managed to restrain myself... Well, untill the key change chorsus in 'far away' were a wee tear or two may have dropped down haha. Who cares though eh
It's sunday now, was gonna be going out again tonight, but bailed on that, fucking knackered, only just getting to grips after my Friday/Saturday. Good times.
Oooh nd Celtic lost the bloody league today. Useless bastards haha.
Cheery bye for now. Greig nd family are on the way down methinks, gotta shower....
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
Gig Last Night !
Saw Nickelback last night !
Not a huge fan really, but they were really good. A good 'ol fashioned rock band i suppose, nothing too flashy. Except th eone horrificly cringe worthy sorta political moment, but the less said the better.
Couple of songs really hit a chord with me, my reactions, unknown to me, were surprisingly obvious haha. 'Far Away' and P'hotograph' are two songs that remind me of a certain time and certain people, which last night almost moved me to tears. But i was with dad and his pals, so i managed to restrain myself... Well, untill the key change chorsus in 'far away' were a wee tear or two may have dropped down haha. Who cares though eh
It's sunday now, was gonna be going out again tonight, but bailed on that, fucking knackered, only just getting to grips after my Friday/Saturday. Good times.
Oooh nd Celtic lost the bloody league today. Useless bastards haha.
Cheery bye for now. Greig nd family are on the way down methinks, gotta shower....
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
Not a huge fan really, but they were really good. A good 'ol fashioned rock band i suppose, nothing too flashy. Except th eone horrificly cringe worthy sorta political moment, but the less said the better.
Couple of songs really hit a chord with me, my reactions, unknown to me, were surprisingly obvious haha. 'Far Away' and P'hotograph' are two songs that remind me of a certain time and certain people, which last night almost moved me to tears. But i was with dad and his pals, so i managed to restrain myself... Well, untill the key change chorsus in 'far away' were a wee tear or two may have dropped down haha. Who cares though eh
It's sunday now, was gonna be going out again tonight, but bailed on that, fucking knackered, only just getting to grips after my Friday/Saturday. Good times.
Oooh nd Celtic lost the bloody league today. Useless bastards haha.
Cheery bye for now. Greig nd family are on the way down methinks, gotta shower....
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
Lost A Day
It's official... I've lost a day.
At some stage between the seemingly never ending abys of everything i experienced tonight, night became morning, light became dark, blackness turned to light, Friday to Saturday. Great....
It's always an achievment a 24 hour stint and as i write this (On my ipod on saturday morning, around 6 Am, probs won't be bloggin it 'till tomorrow at some point, gonna be buzy later) in a back garden of some strange, alien house house in a city that's not my own, i've been awkae for around 22 hours !
Gonna go get a taxi to the train station, then a train to haymarket, then home, then bed. Hopefully will get there before 8. Happy days. Not sure if the parentals will be too pleased with me sauntering in at 8 in the morning haha, i think i was supposed to be home last night anyway, awww well.
It's been ok though, no drama (for me anyway) Nice people through here. So nothing to share to be honest. Ooohkaaay.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
At some stage between the seemingly never ending abys of everything i experienced tonight, night became morning, light became dark, blackness turned to light, Friday to Saturday. Great....
It's always an achievment a 24 hour stint and as i write this (On my ipod on saturday morning, around 6 Am, probs won't be bloggin it 'till tomorrow at some point, gonna be buzy later) in a back garden of some strange, alien house house in a city that's not my own, i've been awkae for around 22 hours !
Gonna go get a taxi to the train station, then a train to haymarket, then home, then bed. Hopefully will get there before 8. Happy days. Not sure if the parentals will be too pleased with me sauntering in at 8 in the morning haha, i think i was supposed to be home last night anyway, awww well.
It's been ok though, no drama (for me anyway) Nice people through here. So nothing to share to be honest. Ooohkaaay.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Lost A Day
It's official... I've lost a day.
At some stage between the seemingly never ending abys of everything i experienced tonight, night became morning, light became dark, blackness turned to light, Friday to Saturday. Great....
It's always an achievment a 24 hour stint and as i write this (On my ipod on saturday morning, around 6 Am, probs won't be bloggin it 'till tomorrow at some point, gonna be buzy later) in a back garden of some strange, alien house house in a city that's not my own, i've been awkae for around 22 hours !
Gonna go get a taxi to the train station, then a train to haymarket, then home, then bed. Hopefully will get there before 8. Happy days. Not sure if the parentals will be too pleased with me sauntering in at 8 in the morning haha, i think i was supposed to be home last night anyway, awww well.
It's been ok though, no drama (for me anyway) Nice people through here. So nothing to share to be honest. Ooohkaaay.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
At some stage between the seemingly never ending abys of everything i experienced tonight, night became morning, light became dark, blackness turned to light, Friday to Saturday. Great....
It's always an achievment a 24 hour stint and as i write this (On my ipod on saturday morning, around 6 Am, probs won't be bloggin it 'till tomorrow at some point, gonna be buzy later) in a back garden of some strange, alien house house in a city that's not my own, i've been awkae for around 22 hours !
Gonna go get a taxi to the train station, then a train to haymarket, then home, then bed. Hopefully will get there before 8. Happy days. Not sure if the parentals will be too pleased with me sauntering in at 8 in the morning haha, i think i was supposed to be home last night anyway, awww well.
It's been ok though, no drama (for me anyway) Nice people through here. So nothing to share to be honest. Ooohkaaay.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Thursday, 21 May 2009
City Of Dreams
A wall of sound,
I'm breathless.
Blinded by the lights,
This city never sleeps.
Everywere i turn,
Life, excitement.
I hold my breath and dive,
Trying not to sufficate.
I look up, skywards,
All i see is concrete, standing proudly beneath the sun.
A man-made landscape,
Of unnatural beauty.
I cannot think clearly,
Too much of everything.
A city of excess,
The city of dreams.
People of all beliefs,
Nothing is unusual.
Nothing is judged,
You can be who you want to be.
I open my eyes, i breathe,
I belong, i am in love...
I'm home.
I'll be talkin to ya xx
I'm breathless.
Blinded by the lights,
This city never sleeps.
Everywere i turn,
Life, excitement.
I hold my breath and dive,
Trying not to sufficate.
I look up, skywards,
All i see is concrete, standing proudly beneath the sun.
A man-made landscape,
Of unnatural beauty.
I cannot think clearly,
Too much of everything.
A city of excess,
The city of dreams.
People of all beliefs,
Nothing is unusual.
Nothing is judged,
You can be who you want to be.
I open my eyes, i breathe,
I belong, i am in love...
I'm home.
I'll be talkin to ya xx
City Of Dreams
A wall of sound,
I'm breathless.
Blinded by the lights,
This city never sleeps.
Everywere i turn,
Life, excitement.
I hold my breath and dive,
Trying not to sufficate.
I look up, skywards,
All i see is concrete, standing proudly beneath the sun.
A man-made landscape,
Of unnatural beauty.
I cannot think clearly,
Too much of everything.
A city of excess,
The city of dreams.
People of all beliefs,
Nothing is unusual.
Nothing is judged,
You can be who you want to be.
I open my eyes, i breathe,
I belong, i am in love...
I'm home.
I'll be talkin to ya xx
I'm breathless.
Blinded by the lights,
This city never sleeps.
Everywere i turn,
Life, excitement.
I hold my breath and dive,
Trying not to sufficate.
I look up, skywards,
All i see is concrete, standing proudly beneath the sun.
A man-made landscape,
Of unnatural beauty.
I cannot think clearly,
Too much of everything.
A city of excess,
The city of dreams.
People of all beliefs,
Nothing is unusual.
Nothing is judged,
You can be who you want to be.
I open my eyes, i breathe,
I belong, i am in love...
I'm home.
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Why So Special ?
'She Brought You Something special didn't she ?
Well that's what you hold onto. That's how you keep her alive.'
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Why So Special ?
'She Brought You Something special didn't she ?
Well that's what you hold onto. That's how you keep her alive.'
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
A Place, Just For Us...
'Just Close Your Eyes, And Keep Your Mind Wide Open'
I'm Crying.
This film makes me cry... Everytime.
Okay, since like nobody has seen it i'll quickly summarise. It's pretty simple to be honoust. Boy from a poor family, is fairly miserable. Then the girl arrives, who is free spirited, attractive and very insightful. Together they rise above all their problems and motivate each other to achieve what they want to. However just as it seems that their friendship is about to move to a new level, the young girl, dies in a tragic accident. Clearly the boy is devastated, and retreats into himself. Before using her memory, as a tool to motivate him to re-create 'their' kingdom, and inviting his little sister to join him.
Okay, so the plot doesn't make it seem all that fantastic, but it's more about the feelings and emotion that the film manages to encapsulate that make this a classic (in my opinion anyway). I have yet to see another film that quite manages to capture the sense of happiness, and excitement that comes with meeting somebody that you know is special. Or the feeling of love growing towards another person, all the quick glances, and awkward little moments. It's all here. Building up to the point of course were the girl dies. At first, as a viewer, you react in the same manner as the boy, complete disbelief, then just like him, as it sinks in, you feel like you've been slapped. You have put so much emotional investment into her, ready to watch the happy ending, and then, just like that, she's gone. It's sickening, but brilliant and unexpected (especially for a Disney film).
So why such a big think for me ? Why has it taken me two years to watch it again. This is my third time by the way. Well, the background is this essentially. When i saw this film in the pictures, almost exactly two years ago, i loved it, and then i bought the Dvd, later that month whilst on holiday in New York, and viewed it again on the night of June 18th i believe. Thing is, looking back, those two occasions mark the last time in my life that i would claim to be completely innocent, i was still a child. Shortly afterwards, about 3 nights after my dvd watching i was let down for the 1st time in my life by a girl. Somebody i really liked, and it went bad, it was nothing really, but at the time it felt like everything. The pain of that never going away untill i found someone else, which of course led to much, much, worse, but as you see it's a never ending cycle frankly, with the period of my life that this film entered into marking the start of it all. The end of my childhood, i'd say.
The reason i've not watched this in two years then, is that i was scared to be dissapointed, becuase i was never quite sure whether my warm feelings towards the film stemmed from the film itself or for what it meant to me on a more personal level. Well after watching i can gladly confirm that the film is beautiful, and now i can truthfully say that is is one of my favourites. It's a weight of my shoulders viewing it again after two very difficult years aswell. It's like i've finally let something go.
The themes of the film do ring quite true to me aswel. The sorta main point is that you should never let others put you down, or drag you with them. It's almost a study on how the individual, despite being mocked, can sometimes find the most happiness. I completely agree with this. Also the scenes which focus on the young kids, coming closer together have an almost poetic feel about them, emphasising the 'fairytale' romance kind of idea. Whilst this almost seems too perfect, the screen chemistry between the actors is brilliant, and strong enough to make you believe that this can happen. And as i have realised on occasions, it does. And the sheer amount of energy and life these feelings can give is amazing ! This movie finds a way to show all of this, without the need for any sappy, cheesy, scenes, which whilst looking nice, are basicly just throwing the events in the faces of the audience, narrative economy i suppose best describes what i'm meaning.
So, in the end, I love this movie, seriously, it ranks up there with my all time favourites ! Watching it again has also reminded me, of a place i was in two years ago, that i know i can never return to, before i was polluted, and troubled. Without any of the baggage i carry around now. Just when i thought romance was simple, and that i would never feel the sense of loss that is felt in here, cause that 'only happens in the films'. I was wrong. But at the time i thought it would never happen to me, i was wrong. But i wouldn't change a minute of it.
As the film teaches, keep an open mind and you'll never know what'll find it's way in there. Mines is never shut, and i like to think that every experience i've faced is there for a reason. And that i'll learn from them, like i did from this film, just under two yeas ago, before it all began.
I really do love this film !
I'll be talkin to yaa xxx
A Place, Just For Us...
'Just Close Your Eyes, And Keep Your Mind Wide Open'
I'm Crying.
This film makes me cry... Everytime.
Okay, since like nobody has seen it i'll quickly summarise. It's pretty simple to be honoust. Boy from a poor family, is fairly miserable. Then the girl arrives, who is free spirited, attractive and very insightful. Together they rise above all their problems and motivate each other to achieve what they want to. However just as it seems that their friendship is about to move to a new level, the young girl, dies in a tragic accident. Clearly the boy is devastated, and retreats into himself. Before using her memory, as a tool to motivate him to re-create 'their' kingdom, and inviting his little sister to join him.
Okay, so the plot doesn't make it seem all that fantastic, but it's more about the feelings and emotion that the film manages to encapsulate that make this a classic (in my opinion anyway). I have yet to see another film that quite manages to capture the sense of happiness, and excitement that comes with meeting somebody that you know is special. Or the feeling of love growing towards another person, all the quick glances, and awkward little moments. It's all here. Building up to the point of course were the girl dies. At first, as a viewer, you react in the same manner as the boy, complete disbelief, then just like him, as it sinks in, you feel like you've been slapped. You have put so much emotional investment into her, ready to watch the happy ending, and then, just like that, she's gone. It's sickening, but brilliant and unexpected (especially for a Disney film).
So why such a big think for me ? Why has it taken me two years to watch it again. This is my third time by the way. Well, the background is this essentially. When i saw this film in the pictures, almost exactly two years ago, i loved it, and then i bought the Dvd, later that month whilst on holiday in New York, and viewed it again on the night of June 18th i believe. Thing is, looking back, those two occasions mark the last time in my life that i would claim to be completely innocent, i was still a child. Shortly afterwards, about 3 nights after my dvd watching i was let down for the 1st time in my life by a girl. Somebody i really liked, and it went bad, it was nothing really, but at the time it felt like everything. The pain of that never going away untill i found someone else, which of course led to much, much, worse, but as you see it's a never ending cycle frankly, with the period of my life that this film entered into marking the start of it all. The end of my childhood, i'd say.
The reason i've not watched this in two years then, is that i was scared to be dissapointed, becuase i was never quite sure whether my warm feelings towards the film stemmed from the film itself or for what it meant to me on a more personal level. Well after watching i can gladly confirm that the film is beautiful, and now i can truthfully say that is is one of my favourites. It's a weight of my shoulders viewing it again after two very difficult years aswell. It's like i've finally let something go.
The themes of the film do ring quite true to me aswel. The sorta main point is that you should never let others put you down, or drag you with them. It's almost a study on how the individual, despite being mocked, can sometimes find the most happiness. I completely agree with this. Also the scenes which focus on the young kids, coming closer together have an almost poetic feel about them, emphasising the 'fairytale' romance kind of idea. Whilst this almost seems too perfect, the screen chemistry between the actors is brilliant, and strong enough to make you believe that this can happen. And as i have realised on occasions, it does. And the sheer amount of energy and life these feelings can give is amazing ! This movie finds a way to show all of this, without the need for any sappy, cheesy, scenes, which whilst looking nice, are basicly just throwing the events in the faces of the audience, narrative economy i suppose best describes what i'm meaning.
So, in the end, I love this movie, seriously, it ranks up there with my all time favourites ! Watching it again has also reminded me, of a place i was in two years ago, that i know i can never return to, before i was polluted, and troubled. Without any of the baggage i carry around now. Just when i thought romance was simple, and that i would never feel the sense of loss that is felt in here, cause that 'only happens in the films'. I was wrong. But at the time i thought it would never happen to me, i was wrong. But i wouldn't change a minute of it.
As the film teaches, keep an open mind and you'll never know what'll find it's way in there. Mines is never shut, and i like to think that every experience i've faced is there for a reason. And that i'll learn from them, like i did from this film, just under two yeas ago, before it all began.
I really do love this film !
I'll be talkin to yaa xxx
Ready To Watch
For the first time in two years i'm gonna re-watch one of my all time favourite films !!! The Bridge To Terabithia.
I'm not sure why i just feel ready.
Wow, why is it i feel close to tears everytime i see the opening sequence of disney films ! Y'know with the big swooping shots over the Magic kingdom, ending with a close-up on the castle, with fireworks on top !
Well, i actually can work out the reason.
I love this film ! Schhhh, it's starting !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
I'm not sure why i just feel ready.
Wow, why is it i feel close to tears everytime i see the opening sequence of disney films ! Y'know with the big swooping shots over the Magic kingdom, ending with a close-up on the castle, with fireworks on top !
Well, i actually can work out the reason.
I love this film ! Schhhh, it's starting !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Ready To Watch
For the first time in two years i'm gonna re-watch one of my all time favourite films !!! The Bridge To Terabithia.
I'm not sure why i just feel ready.
Wow, why is it i feel close to tears everytime i see the opening sequence of disney films ! Y'know with the big swooping shots over the Magic kingdom, ending with a close-up on the castle, with fireworks on top !
Well, i actually can work out the reason.
I love this film ! Schhhh, it's starting !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
I'm not sure why i just feel ready.
Wow, why is it i feel close to tears everytime i see the opening sequence of disney films ! Y'know with the big swooping shots over the Magic kingdom, ending with a close-up on the castle, with fireworks on top !
Well, i actually can work out the reason.
I love this film ! Schhhh, it's starting !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Six Strings
Creativity,
Release,
Power,
Revenge,
A Saviour,
A Bond,
Six Strings....
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Six Strings
Creativity,
Release,
Power,
Revenge,
A Saviour,
A Bond,
Six Strings....
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Thief And A Witch
First Glimpse, i lost my breath.
The Heart followed.
Then Pain.
Their will be others,
But I'll be there...
Always.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx
The Heart followed.
Then Pain.
Their will be others,
But I'll be there...
Always.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx
Thief And A Witch
First Glimpse, i lost my breath.
The Heart followed.
Then Pain.
Their will be others,
But I'll be there...
Always.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx
The Heart followed.
Then Pain.
Their will be others,
But I'll be there...
Always.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx
Live, Love, Laugh
Time passes,
People change,
Life is different than it was before,
But what can i do to deal with time ?
Live (Like every moment is your last)
Love (Like you've never had your heart broken)
Laugh (Like theirs not a care in the world)
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
People change,
Life is different than it was before,
But what can i do to deal with time ?
Live (Like every moment is your last)
Love (Like you've never had your heart broken)
Laugh (Like theirs not a care in the world)
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Live, Love, Laugh
Time passes,
People change,
Life is different than it was before,
But what can i do to deal with time ?
Live (Like every moment is your last)
Love (Like you've never had your heart broken)
Laugh (Like theirs not a care in the world)
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
People change,
Life is different than it was before,
But what can i do to deal with time ?
Live (Like every moment is your last)
Love (Like you've never had your heart broken)
Laugh (Like theirs not a care in the world)
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Just Me
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow,
If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder,
If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile....
But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder,
If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile....
But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Just Me
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow,
If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder,
If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile....
But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder,
If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile....
But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Some Kind Of Wonderful
Dark Blue Boat Shows,
Signature Smile,
Laugh with the good times,
Cry when you fall.
I'll catch you.
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
Signature Smile,
Laugh with the good times,
Cry when you fall.
I'll catch you.
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
Some Kind Of Wonderful
Dark Blue Boat Shows,
Signature Smile,
Laugh with the good times,
Cry when you fall.
I'll catch you.
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
Signature Smile,
Laugh with the good times,
Cry when you fall.
I'll catch you.
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
La, Lala, Lala
I have no exams for another 15 days :D:D:D
Nice wee holiday, I'll be bored within 3 days though.... Aah well, better then school, or actually doing exams !
I'll be posting alot most likely.
Don't mind me !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Nice wee holiday, I'll be bored within 3 days though.... Aah well, better then school, or actually doing exams !
I'll be posting alot most likely.
Don't mind me !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
La, Lala, Lala
I have no exams for another 15 days :D:D:D
Nice wee holiday, I'll be bored within 3 days though.... Aah well, better then school, or actually doing exams !
I'll be posting alot most likely.
Don't mind me !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Nice wee holiday, I'll be bored within 3 days though.... Aah well, better then school, or actually doing exams !
I'll be posting alot most likely.
Don't mind me !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Sunday, 17 May 2009
One Year Gone
In about an hour, it will be the 18th of May 2009. Exactley a year to the day that my life changed forever.
I'm gonna put down here, something i wrote a few month back, which i think is pretty fitting for this date. Enjoy....
The last year has been the hardest of my life. I went from being the happiest guy in the world to being completely stranded. And part of me wants to blame you, and be angry and bitter, but the other part of me won't allow it. I mean, i still don't fully understand what happened, and i don't think i ever really will.
Look, the fact is, what you did, i think you have you're reasons, but i don't think i deserved it ! And you might not know it, but i took a huge risk with you, the biggest i've ever taken. I didn't plan on it, but i allowed it, i let you get inside me, i let you get to know me, meet my real friends and my family, and let you see the part of my world and myself that i hide from everyone else. I didn't need to do that, but i did. And y'know what.... I'm fucking glad for it ! Because no matter what problems you found, for me you were amazing, perfect almost, everything i wanted or needed. And the good outweighs the bad, even after everything that's happened when i think of you i still smile and remember my favourite moments with you....
Standing behind you, watchin fireworks at disney, sneaking up the stairs at 4 in the morning on my birthday, just to lie beside you, before my parents let us sleep together haha. When your mom went home last August, and you left her at the airport and walked up and hugged me, i felt like i really mattered, y'know, that i was important. And you just made me feel indestructable, nothing ever worried or bothered me when i had you.
It's just, it's just...... The way you're head always hit the right spot on my shoulder, how perfectly you fit into my arms, and how our hands would always find each others.......
The way you're always warm, even when it;s freezing, and how cute you looked when you slept beside me. The way that you always put yourself down, even though we both know that i think you're the most beautiful girl in the entire world....
How whenever your name pops up on my phone i smile and just can't help it. Our wee random kisses and hugs, just cause we could, You're touch, you're smile, smell, everything !
Just the way you fell into my arms when you cried, and then apologised for crying, even though you knew t wasn't a problem, how you told me you loved me, and how i felt when you said it. How you would say ' I miss you' and i would miss you even more....
And how when you cried, i just wanted to fix everything, to stop anything from hurting you. And whether you love me, hate me, or just want me to piss of, it doesn't matter ! Not, one, bit....
Because for the first time in my life, no matter what you mean to anyone else, or what i mean to youyou are everthing to me.
And everytime i look in you're eyes, we could say a million things without ever having to speak, and i just knew i was completely consumed by you.
Fact is, i love you for a million reasons, and no words, or paper can ever get close to explaining it, because i'ts not from the mind, but from the heart, a feeling, only felt.
And if this is to be the last time i see you, i want you to know that for the time we were together, not once did i ever try to bullshit you, or hurt you, and i tried... I tried really fucking hard, maybe too hard in the end, but you deserved it ! Because the thing is, i love you, and you taught me how to love. And for that i'll always be grateful, you changed me forever, thankyou.
This doesn't have to be the end of our story, you do not have to close the book. The future is a long time, and fuck knows what could happen. So i'm going to turn around and walk away, but i promise you, if you ever want to catch me, i'll not be far away....
You could catch me if you tried... and if you do that just once, i promise to be there, to catch you... Forever.
I Love You.
So there you have it, a wee bit of something that i wrote (and actualyly used) just before the new year. It's pretty difficult to read through actually, it's still raw. Things are better now however.
Feel free to give your opinions !
Love y'all and Leave Ya's....
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
I'm gonna put down here, something i wrote a few month back, which i think is pretty fitting for this date. Enjoy....
The last year has been the hardest of my life. I went from being the happiest guy in the world to being completely stranded. And part of me wants to blame you, and be angry and bitter, but the other part of me won't allow it. I mean, i still don't fully understand what happened, and i don't think i ever really will.
Look, the fact is, what you did, i think you have you're reasons, but i don't think i deserved it ! And you might not know it, but i took a huge risk with you, the biggest i've ever taken. I didn't plan on it, but i allowed it, i let you get inside me, i let you get to know me, meet my real friends and my family, and let you see the part of my world and myself that i hide from everyone else. I didn't need to do that, but i did. And y'know what.... I'm fucking glad for it ! Because no matter what problems you found, for me you were amazing, perfect almost, everything i wanted or needed. And the good outweighs the bad, even after everything that's happened when i think of you i still smile and remember my favourite moments with you....
Standing behind you, watchin fireworks at disney, sneaking up the stairs at 4 in the morning on my birthday, just to lie beside you, before my parents let us sleep together haha. When your mom went home last August, and you left her at the airport and walked up and hugged me, i felt like i really mattered, y'know, that i was important. And you just made me feel indestructable, nothing ever worried or bothered me when i had you.
It's just, it's just...... The way you're head always hit the right spot on my shoulder, how perfectly you fit into my arms, and how our hands would always find each others.......
The way you're always warm, even when it;s freezing, and how cute you looked when you slept beside me. The way that you always put yourself down, even though we both know that i think you're the most beautiful girl in the entire world....
How whenever your name pops up on my phone i smile and just can't help it. Our wee random kisses and hugs, just cause we could, You're touch, you're smile, smell, everything !
Just the way you fell into my arms when you cried, and then apologised for crying, even though you knew t wasn't a problem, how you told me you loved me, and how i felt when you said it. How you would say ' I miss you' and i would miss you even more....
And how when you cried, i just wanted to fix everything, to stop anything from hurting you. And whether you love me, hate me, or just want me to piss of, it doesn't matter ! Not, one, bit....
Because for the first time in my life, no matter what you mean to anyone else, or what i mean to youyou are everthing to me.
And everytime i look in you're eyes, we could say a million things without ever having to speak, and i just knew i was completely consumed by you.
Fact is, i love you for a million reasons, and no words, or paper can ever get close to explaining it, because i'ts not from the mind, but from the heart, a feeling, only felt.
And if this is to be the last time i see you, i want you to know that for the time we were together, not once did i ever try to bullshit you, or hurt you, and i tried... I tried really fucking hard, maybe too hard in the end, but you deserved it ! Because the thing is, i love you, and you taught me how to love. And for that i'll always be grateful, you changed me forever, thankyou.
This doesn't have to be the end of our story, you do not have to close the book. The future is a long time, and fuck knows what could happen. So i'm going to turn around and walk away, but i promise you, if you ever want to catch me, i'll not be far away....
You could catch me if you tried... and if you do that just once, i promise to be there, to catch you... Forever.
I Love You.
So there you have it, a wee bit of something that i wrote (and actualyly used) just before the new year. It's pretty difficult to read through actually, it's still raw. Things are better now however.
Feel free to give your opinions !
Love y'all and Leave Ya's....
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
Friday, 15 May 2009
Something Just Isn't Right
I Can't put my finger on what exactley, but things don't feel as they should. I Feel a mixture of things, but none of it is actually making much sense in all fairness. So what exactly do i feel ? Not enough sadly, i feel empty, like when your on a roller-coaster and you go upside down ! It's horrible to be honoust.
It's like i've been let down and i'm hurting, but really theirs no reason for it ! I had nothing to be let down by. I'm just overly emotional ! It's like i almost enjoy getting into these heart fucking scenarios, i'll deal with it.
Wish me luck ....
I'll be talkin to ya xx
It's like i've been let down and i'm hurting, but really theirs no reason for it ! I had nothing to be let down by. I'm just overly emotional ! It's like i almost enjoy getting into these heart fucking scenarios, i'll deal with it.
Wish me luck ....
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Oft.
English exam is done !
Higher English is a pain in the ass ! The questions sucked ! Like they had such little scope at all, really focused, which doesn't suit me as i like to explore in my writing if you get me !
I think i done ok tho ! Not ok, better then that, i'm expecting an A i'll be pretty pissed if get less then that. Should be fine though....
Quiet weekend i'd presume, drama exam on monday so do a wee bit work for that and stuff, doubt i'll be up to much else ! Can't complain really, had a decent last few month. It was always bound to die down at some stage !
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
Higher English is a pain in the ass ! The questions sucked ! Like they had such little scope at all, really focused, which doesn't suit me as i like to explore in my writing if you get me !
I think i done ok tho ! Not ok, better then that, i'm expecting an A i'll be pretty pissed if get less then that. Should be fine though....
Quiet weekend i'd presume, drama exam on monday so do a wee bit work for that and stuff, doubt i'll be up to much else ! Can't complain really, had a decent last few month. It was always bound to die down at some stage !
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
Thursday, 14 May 2009
Monsters Are Due On Maple Street
First things first ....... I've left school !!!!! Yasssssssssssssssss
I'm rather pleased about this, for now anyway, will see how it all pans out, if my exams are good it'll stay this way. Haha, if not then maybe i'll have to pop back in ! Booooo
Fuck 'um !
I made an observation today, it's pretty damming on people like, but it's true. Whenever pressure is on and stuff, people just lash out and try and put blame for anything on anyone, it's like the minute the stress rises, nobody wants to stand up and take any responsibility ! And suddenly everyone is too blame, and others have to be singled out for trouble. No wonder half the world doesn't get along, we're such creatures of desperation. In reality we only care about a close knit few, it's funny how happy we are to throw others into the fire just to save our own skins. I can't complain, i'd do the same, but it is worth thinking about. How easily the population can be fragmented, just look at the Salem which trials, or McCarthy commie hunts.... It's always been going on !
So what else, nothing really, English exam tomorrow, not looking forward to it, gonna have to cram revise later today. Hopefulyl i'm fine, i'm pretty handy at writing most of the time.
Neway, as it goes,
I'll be talkin to ya xx
I'm rather pleased about this, for now anyway, will see how it all pans out, if my exams are good it'll stay this way. Haha, if not then maybe i'll have to pop back in ! Booooo
Fuck 'um !
I made an observation today, it's pretty damming on people like, but it's true. Whenever pressure is on and stuff, people just lash out and try and put blame for anything on anyone, it's like the minute the stress rises, nobody wants to stand up and take any responsibility ! And suddenly everyone is too blame, and others have to be singled out for trouble. No wonder half the world doesn't get along, we're such creatures of desperation. In reality we only care about a close knit few, it's funny how happy we are to throw others into the fire just to save our own skins. I can't complain, i'd do the same, but it is worth thinking about. How easily the population can be fragmented, just look at the Salem which trials, or McCarthy commie hunts.... It's always been going on !
So what else, nothing really, English exam tomorrow, not looking forward to it, gonna have to cram revise later today. Hopefulyl i'm fine, i'm pretty handy at writing most of the time.
Neway, as it goes,
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
Eye
Have You Ever Found Yourself Staring Into Somebodys Eyes, And Feeling, that You Could Hold Their Glance Forever ?
I Did Once.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Not Alive, Not Afraid.
I'm not alive, i'm not afraid,
No i'm not afriad to die.
I'm not alive, i'm not afraid,
Theres nothing that i should crave.
And i don't want you now,
And i don't need you anymore.
I won't lie, i don't know,
But i'm not gonna go.....
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Funny Thing Happened To Me Today !
As the title says, a funny thing happened today ! I don't know why or how or anything, but out of nowere i just began to feel positive about things ! Weird i know, i should be panicking about my exams and all the other stressfuck stuff which is a'happnin but, no, today i just mellowed... weird eh ?
So what caused it ? Fook knows frankly, but i like it, it might not last but who cares, it's cool. The way i see it is that in 3 weeks and a day my exams are done ! Finished forever, and i can do whatever i want for awhile as school is done, Yay ! And to do with the other stuff, well who cares really ? I shouldn't get as involved as i do, and what's it matter, thing will just turn out as they do, theirs a natural order and it will just do as it wants.....
I can't change the world, all my plans and ideas can only go so far, then it's fate. So time to lay my schemes to one side and just chill, relax.
Everything will work itself out, maybe for once i should focus on whats really important ! Exams and having fun. And not nessessarily in that order.... Haha.
So Fuck it ! Time to work, Time to play, Time to laugh, Time to graft.
3-2-1.......
GO !
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
So what caused it ? Fook knows frankly, but i like it, it might not last but who cares, it's cool. The way i see it is that in 3 weeks and a day my exams are done ! Finished forever, and i can do whatever i want for awhile as school is done, Yay ! And to do with the other stuff, well who cares really ? I shouldn't get as involved as i do, and what's it matter, thing will just turn out as they do, theirs a natural order and it will just do as it wants.....
I can't change the world, all my plans and ideas can only go so far, then it's fate. So time to lay my schemes to one side and just chill, relax.
Everything will work itself out, maybe for once i should focus on whats really important ! Exams and having fun. And not nessessarily in that order.... Haha.
So Fuck it ! Time to work, Time to play, Time to laugh, Time to graft.
3-2-1.......
GO !
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Soggy From The Chemo
Why am i so tired ?
Why am i so sad ?
Why do i feel hated ?
This is fucking driving me mad !
No matter what i do, i fall,
And i can't stop.
I cling on for dear life,
But that pushes people away.
When did life get so complicated ?
People seem to get by,
But not me, my heart is always broken,
Cut the life support......
It's not them it's me,
I can't handle life,
I don't deal with the loss,
And people always leave.
I fight the inevitable.
Pretend somethings their when it's not.
I know i'll always be that guy,
Fun, for awhile, too much for more.
And you all wonder why ?
Well, your to blame,
it's all your fault,
Every single one of you !
Never an explanation....
Just disappear.
The kisses first,
Then the heart.
And i'm left fighting,
An enemy that's not even there.
I cannot defeat the world,
But i cannot give up.
So why does nobody just be it ?
What they seem to be at first,
My salvation, someone to heal me.
Instead of being a different person altogether.
It's tricky....
Life, love, hopes, dreams, feelings, thoughts.
I thought i'd found the answer,
I was wrong. Goodnight.
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Why am i so sad ?
Why do i feel hated ?
This is fucking driving me mad !
No matter what i do, i fall,
And i can't stop.
I cling on for dear life,
But that pushes people away.
When did life get so complicated ?
People seem to get by,
But not me, my heart is always broken,
Cut the life support......
It's not them it's me,
I can't handle life,
I don't deal with the loss,
And people always leave.
I fight the inevitable.
Pretend somethings their when it's not.
I know i'll always be that guy,
Fun, for awhile, too much for more.
And you all wonder why ?
Well, your to blame,
it's all your fault,
Every single one of you !
Never an explanation....
Just disappear.
The kisses first,
Then the heart.
And i'm left fighting,
An enemy that's not even there.
I cannot defeat the world,
But i cannot give up.
So why does nobody just be it ?
What they seem to be at first,
My salvation, someone to heal me.
Instead of being a different person altogether.
It's tricky....
Life, love, hopes, dreams, feelings, thoughts.
I thought i'd found the answer,
I was wrong. Goodnight.
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Saturday, 9 May 2009
It Takes one.
"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes.... all you need is one."
~ Peyton Sawyer (One Tree Hill)
I'll Be Talkin To Yaa xxx
~ Peyton Sawyer (One Tree Hill)
I'll Be Talkin To Yaa xxx
Thursday, 7 May 2009
This Hard !
It is so wrong of me to act this way ? Really ?
I missed the opportunites, sure, i suppose it was obvious and what was on offer was what i think i want. But why should i suffer because i didn't take the chance. The reason i didn't was a good one. I didn't want to risk losing a friendship , not yet, i was comfortable like that, i'd grown used to it.
So now, the chnace is gone, and the friendship has probably went with it. Yeah, sure, i made a mistake, an error of judgement, but i was just trying to do the right thing. It's happened before...
Friends-Together-Fallout-Not talking-Lost a friend......
And seriously, how many times can that be salvaged ?
How come when i think, and try and act all nice and shit, does everything get fucked up ! I don't like it. I don't know if even i can fix this, not now.
I know that within a few weeks, if things keep declining, i'll look back on last Friday/Saturday and see that as my chance....
The chance i never took.....
The chance i let slip away.....
The one i fucked up.
I'll identify it and question my actions, as i forget the way i felt, right at that moment. But for now i know i was right, i make the best decision i could, to try and safeguard something that's important. Maybe it didn't work, What can i do ? Fuck all
I'll be talkin to ya xx
I missed the opportunites, sure, i suppose it was obvious and what was on offer was what i think i want. But why should i suffer because i didn't take the chance. The reason i didn't was a good one. I didn't want to risk losing a friendship , not yet, i was comfortable like that, i'd grown used to it.
So now, the chnace is gone, and the friendship has probably went with it. Yeah, sure, i made a mistake, an error of judgement, but i was just trying to do the right thing. It's happened before...
Friends-Together-Fallout-Not talking-Lost a friend......
And seriously, how many times can that be salvaged ?
How come when i think, and try and act all nice and shit, does everything get fucked up ! I don't like it. I don't know if even i can fix this, not now.
I know that within a few weeks, if things keep declining, i'll look back on last Friday/Saturday and see that as my chance....
The chance i never took.....
The chance i let slip away.....
The one i fucked up.
I'll identify it and question my actions, as i forget the way i felt, right at that moment. But for now i know i was right, i make the best decision i could, to try and safeguard something that's important. Maybe it didn't work, What can i do ? Fuck all
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Sick
Hmm, I feel sick !
Sore head etc, see if it's the bloody swine flu. though... ! Well, i might get in the newspaper .....
Oft, Feel like i'm gonna hurl.
I'll be talkin to yaa x
Sore head etc, see if it's the bloody swine flu. though... ! Well, i might get in the newspaper .....
Oft, Feel like i'm gonna hurl.
I'll be talkin to yaa x
Time Up, Over, Bye
Why is it, that nothing good can last ? Why must everything special slowly die ?
One month it lasted and for what it was, it was perfect. Sure, in reality it wasn't anything. A collection of random occurences, a long, long line of non-events. But so what ? It was fun, i felt good. Most importantly, i felt happy.
From the view i've got now however, it's over. The chance is gone and i missed the boat. An exciting part of my life sailed of without me. Why though ? Was it an inability on my part to act ? But i kinda did... Or ws it just another case of somebody moving on, backing out ?... Most frightening though, what if their was never anything ? Maybe it was all just a fanciful dream of mine, a flicker in my head thats ended up causing a fucking fire. Evidence can suggest either, but it's bothering me.
Again though, i shouldn't let this affect me. I have far more presing things that i should be worried about, exams mainly, but i''m struggling to focus, i'm being dragged down, mainly by myself in truth. It's been such a strange few months. When i should have been focusing on studying, i've been up and down so many times, dragged through the mud but done so willingly, always after moments of brillinace, seeking to satisfy my addiction.
So, what can i say ? It seems that another point in my life is over, a month that whilst meaning everything to me for the time it lasted, will prove to be nothing but one brief moment in my life, a long line of cause and effect. It will add to me. She will prove to be just another aquaintance, another who got away, an opportunity wasted... But don't be down. Appreciate it for what it was, and loook back and enjoy the memories. It was great, now it's gone. Shit, Deal with it !
Whilst everything good must fade, i pray for a miracle...
As always...
I'll be talkin to ya xx
One month it lasted and for what it was, it was perfect. Sure, in reality it wasn't anything. A collection of random occurences, a long, long line of non-events. But so what ? It was fun, i felt good. Most importantly, i felt happy.
From the view i've got now however, it's over. The chance is gone and i missed the boat. An exciting part of my life sailed of without me. Why though ? Was it an inability on my part to act ? But i kinda did... Or ws it just another case of somebody moving on, backing out ?... Most frightening though, what if their was never anything ? Maybe it was all just a fanciful dream of mine, a flicker in my head thats ended up causing a fucking fire. Evidence can suggest either, but it's bothering me.
Again though, i shouldn't let this affect me. I have far more presing things that i should be worried about, exams mainly, but i''m struggling to focus, i'm being dragged down, mainly by myself in truth. It's been such a strange few months. When i should have been focusing on studying, i've been up and down so many times, dragged through the mud but done so willingly, always after moments of brillinace, seeking to satisfy my addiction.
So, what can i say ? It seems that another point in my life is over, a month that whilst meaning everything to me for the time it lasted, will prove to be nothing but one brief moment in my life, a long line of cause and effect. It will add to me. She will prove to be just another aquaintance, another who got away, an opportunity wasted... But don't be down. Appreciate it for what it was, and loook back and enjoy the memories. It was great, now it's gone. Shit, Deal with it !
Whilst everything good must fade, i pray for a miracle...
As always...
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Monday, 4 May 2009
I Think I ....
Howdy !
Getting my dvd back !!! Finally, took over a month and a half, but it's changed hands and it's gettin back to my good self. Scared little Bitch couldn't give it back herself though, clearly not got the backbone to actually look at me, after what she done, but still fuck her and the horse she rode in on ! I'm gettin the infinite playlist back. Woop !
So what's happening. Well, going on todays evidence, it looks as if i might well have screwed up the best thing going for me at the moment ! Such is life. I have a bad habit of this. I could gather this was gonna happen as early as Saturday, but in truth i thought i was just being paranoid, due to past situations, but once again, i proved myself right. Totally KB'd today by her and when contact was reached it was barely warm ! Haha. Wat a fucking mess !
I don't know why i'm so concerned though, i shouldn't be feeling this way, i promised i wouldn't, not again for christ sake !!
Aaahhhhhh, At least i'm used to it by now...
Signing out,
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Getting my dvd back !!! Finally, took over a month and a half, but it's changed hands and it's gettin back to my good self. Scared little Bitch couldn't give it back herself though, clearly not got the backbone to actually look at me, after what she done, but still fuck her and the horse she rode in on ! I'm gettin the infinite playlist back. Woop !
So what's happening. Well, going on todays evidence, it looks as if i might well have screwed up the best thing going for me at the moment ! Such is life. I have a bad habit of this. I could gather this was gonna happen as early as Saturday, but in truth i thought i was just being paranoid, due to past situations, but once again, i proved myself right. Totally KB'd today by her and when contact was reached it was barely warm ! Haha. Wat a fucking mess !
I don't know why i'm so concerned though, i shouldn't be feeling this way, i promised i wouldn't, not again for christ sake !!
Aaahhhhhh, At least i'm used to it by now...
Signing out,
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Sunday, 3 May 2009
Confused
It's really late saturday night, or really early Sunday morning, depending on how you want to look at it. I've had a brillinat few days, friday/Saturday, been out the house having fun for most of the time. Spend last night and this afternoon, through at some random spot in Fife, cause a girl invited me up to stay there, and meet her family etc, was pretty good fun, didn't get any sleep last night though ! Was too light outside and wasn't in bed till 5ish anyway. This afternoon, i was out and about with her in some wee towns and shit, then just lounged around the house, then train back to Edinburgh, home for a half hour shower and chinese, then back out again. This time to go camping. I don't like camping though, so i came home when it started to get really cold etc. The girl i was with went home too, she's back at her place now, looking after a drunken friend of mine.
So what is with the title of the post then ? Well for once it's up front and simple. I generally am fucking confused. So, this girl yeah, i have no idea what she's playin at. Sadly i do like her, which is no-use, cause i don't want to like anyone ! But i kinda do. But the weird thing is, it's not har to see, so i'm guessin she knows, but she also seems to like me, but nothing ever really seems to happen in terms of relationshipy shit. This wold all be fine, but it's strange, cause she's constantly asking me to do stuff, and had me meet like her entire family this weekend ! So i donno, what does she really want ? I just can't work it all out.. Especially now, as i've had about 2 hours of sleep in 48 hours, and i'm now actually just deliberatly trying to test how long i can go without sleeping, just for a mother fucking giggle !
Jesus, i'm sure i'm going crazy ! I actually sat through a fim called 'Help, I'm a fish'... It's stupid, the stuff i do sommetimes to please others and seriously what do i get in return ? Fuck all is what, apart from the obvious anyway, But i'm never happy with that, i need things to be real and promised ! That however does sound slightly gay, and hypocritical aswel, considering my actions of the last few months anyway ! But it's true, as i stated before, it's all about feeling.
Looking at all the shit objectivly, i'd have to say that nothing will come of this, as it just doesn't seem to be on the cards, whilst all the hinting and chances are placed down, nothing seems to happen. And i'm sure as hell not gonna stretch out and make a first move, no way ! Not considering what happened the last time i tried that, not good ! But like, what should i do, ccasuse it's one of those cases were i could severely fuck up a good thing, just cause of some daft, insastionable need to feel close to something or somehow, as the case may be. Whilst some others would die to have the chances that i get, i'd swap it all to have one, but one thing that was real, and that would last. But i'm not holding my breath, i suppose time will decide what's going to happen. Not that i'm just gonna be sittin here, moaning the entire but ! Schemes are already in place, and the plan is in motion, as i type ! Boom !
Okay, i'm finished. Byes....
I'll be talkin to yaa xxx
So what is with the title of the post then ? Well for once it's up front and simple. I generally am fucking confused. So, this girl yeah, i have no idea what she's playin at. Sadly i do like her, which is no-use, cause i don't want to like anyone ! But i kinda do. But the weird thing is, it's not har to see, so i'm guessin she knows, but she also seems to like me, but nothing ever really seems to happen in terms of relationshipy shit. This wold all be fine, but it's strange, cause she's constantly asking me to do stuff, and had me meet like her entire family this weekend ! So i donno, what does she really want ? I just can't work it all out.. Especially now, as i've had about 2 hours of sleep in 48 hours, and i'm now actually just deliberatly trying to test how long i can go without sleeping, just for a mother fucking giggle !
Jesus, i'm sure i'm going crazy ! I actually sat through a fim called 'Help, I'm a fish'... It's stupid, the stuff i do sommetimes to please others and seriously what do i get in return ? Fuck all is what, apart from the obvious anyway, But i'm never happy with that, i need things to be real and promised ! That however does sound slightly gay, and hypocritical aswel, considering my actions of the last few months anyway ! But it's true, as i stated before, it's all about feeling.
Looking at all the shit objectivly, i'd have to say that nothing will come of this, as it just doesn't seem to be on the cards, whilst all the hinting and chances are placed down, nothing seems to happen. And i'm sure as hell not gonna stretch out and make a first move, no way ! Not considering what happened the last time i tried that, not good ! But like, what should i do, ccasuse it's one of those cases were i could severely fuck up a good thing, just cause of some daft, insastionable need to feel close to something or somehow, as the case may be. Whilst some others would die to have the chances that i get, i'd swap it all to have one, but one thing that was real, and that would last. But i'm not holding my breath, i suppose time will decide what's going to happen. Not that i'm just gonna be sittin here, moaning the entire but ! Schemes are already in place, and the plan is in motion, as i type ! Boom !
Okay, i'm finished. Byes....
I'll be talkin to yaa xxx
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