I Know That Nothing can ever last,
No matter how amazing something is it's finite,
One day it'll come to an end,
What We are left with are memories,
Fragments of Fiction usually,
Flanked by some small truths,
Nothing is as great as it seems,
Yet nothing is essential until it's gone,
Only then are we left with the pieces,
But it is what we do with the time that matters,
Accept the end early,
And enjoy whatever you do have,
Nothing is eternal until the end,
So all i want to know is...
If Nothing lasts forever,
Can i be your nothing ?
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
Saturday, 27 February 2010
Nothing
I Know That Nothing can ever last,
No matter how amazing something is it's finite,
One day it'll come to an end,
What We are left with are memories,
Fragments of Fiction usually,
Flanked by some small truths,
Nothing is as great as it seems,
Yet nothing is essential until it's gone,
Only then are we left with the pieces,
But it is what we do with the time that matters,
Accept the end early,
And enjoy whatever you do have,
Nothing is eternal until the end,
So all i want to know is...
If Nothing lasts forever,
Can i be your nothing ?
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
No matter how amazing something is it's finite,
One day it'll come to an end,
What We are left with are memories,
Fragments of Fiction usually,
Flanked by some small truths,
Nothing is as great as it seems,
Yet nothing is essential until it's gone,
Only then are we left with the pieces,
But it is what we do with the time that matters,
Accept the end early,
And enjoy whatever you do have,
Nothing is eternal until the end,
So all i want to know is...
If Nothing lasts forever,
Can i be your nothing ?
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
In A Dimly Lit City Park....
History Has A Strange Way Of Repeating Itself...
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
In A Dimly Lit City Park....
History Has A Strange Way Of Repeating Itself...
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
There Is
'This vacation's useless
These white pills aren't kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where i laid and told you, but you sweared you loved me more,
Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is.
Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that
loves a girl,
Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me.'
Song Written By Tom DeLonge- Box Car Racer. Love It.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya XxX
These white pills aren't kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where i laid and told you, but you sweared you loved me more,
Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is.
Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that
loves a girl,
Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me.'
Song Written By Tom DeLonge- Box Car Racer. Love It.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya XxX
There Is
'This vacation's useless
These white pills aren't kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where i laid and told you, but you sweared you loved me more,
Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is.
Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that
loves a girl,
Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me.'
Song Written By Tom DeLonge- Box Car Racer. Love It.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya XxX
These white pills aren't kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where i laid and told you, but you sweared you loved me more,
Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is.
Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that
loves a girl,
Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me.'
Song Written By Tom DeLonge- Box Car Racer. Love It.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya XxX
Friday, 26 February 2010
Most simply awful
There are always issues. There's always some sort of problem, anxiety, worry floating about in my head. Even when I can't actually think what the reason for it is !
I was out last night, as it goes a totally horrible and piss poor evening. It started of ok and all was well, but then I was brought down abit by some (in fairness) drunken commments by one of the girls who was with us. It was kinda unexpected and I have to admit it bothered me, but ooh well, Ive heard worse said I suppose. What made it worse was that due to a siblings hangover the girl who would have cheered me back up couldn't come out :/ Infact if she was there none of that would have been said and I would have been saved a poor conversation.
The night didn't pick up much, as after only being 'out' out for around 40 minutes or something like that, my friend (who had drank wayyy to fast) was feeling ill and also somehow really hurt her ankle. It wasn't much fun for her being out so a couple of us took her home.
This morning after some worry and what not I think said injury victim trotted of to the hospital to fix it up. The ankle looked bad like ! Must have been pretty sore ! I handed in my essay and then just to add to the crap 12 hours or whatever it had been I waited in the shitty weather for a half hour fir the bus to come. When it eventually did, the bastard took an hour and 40 minutes to get my ass home. Not amused.
I'll be talkin to ya xx
I was out last night, as it goes a totally horrible and piss poor evening. It started of ok and all was well, but then I was brought down abit by some (in fairness) drunken commments by one of the girls who was with us. It was kinda unexpected and I have to admit it bothered me, but ooh well, Ive heard worse said I suppose. What made it worse was that due to a siblings hangover the girl who would have cheered me back up couldn't come out :/ Infact if she was there none of that would have been said and I would have been saved a poor conversation.
The night didn't pick up much, as after only being 'out' out for around 40 minutes or something like that, my friend (who had drank wayyy to fast) was feeling ill and also somehow really hurt her ankle. It wasn't much fun for her being out so a couple of us took her home.
This morning after some worry and what not I think said injury victim trotted of to the hospital to fix it up. The ankle looked bad like ! Must have been pretty sore ! I handed in my essay and then just to add to the crap 12 hours or whatever it had been I waited in the shitty weather for a half hour fir the bus to come. When it eventually did, the bastard took an hour and 40 minutes to get my ass home. Not amused.
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Most simply awful
There are always issues. There's always some sort of problem, anxiety, worry floating about in my head. Even when I can't actually think what the reason for it is !
I was out last night, as it goes a totally horrible and piss poor evening. It started of ok and all was well, but then I was brought down abit by some (in fairness) drunken commments by one of the girls who was with us. It was kinda unexpected and I have to admit it bothered me, but ooh well, Ive heard worse said I suppose. What made it worse was that due to a siblings hangover the girl who would have cheered me back up couldn't come out :/ Infact if she was there none of that would have been said and I would have been saved a poor conversation.
The night didn't pick up much, as after only being 'out' out for around 40 minutes or something like that, my friend (who had drank wayyy to fast) was feeling ill and also somehow really hurt her ankle. It wasn't much fun for her being out so a couple of us took her home.
This morning after some worry and what not I think said injury victim trotted of to the hospital to fix it up. The ankle looked bad like ! Must have been pretty sore ! I handed in my essay and then just to add to the crap 12 hours or whatever it had been I waited in the shitty weather for a half hour fir the bus to come. When it eventually did, the bastard took an hour and 40 minutes to get my ass home. Not amused.
I'll be talkin to ya xx
I was out last night, as it goes a totally horrible and piss poor evening. It started of ok and all was well, but then I was brought down abit by some (in fairness) drunken commments by one of the girls who was with us. It was kinda unexpected and I have to admit it bothered me, but ooh well, Ive heard worse said I suppose. What made it worse was that due to a siblings hangover the girl who would have cheered me back up couldn't come out :/ Infact if she was there none of that would have been said and I would have been saved a poor conversation.
The night didn't pick up much, as after only being 'out' out for around 40 minutes or something like that, my friend (who had drank wayyy to fast) was feeling ill and also somehow really hurt her ankle. It wasn't much fun for her being out so a couple of us took her home.
This morning after some worry and what not I think said injury victim trotted of to the hospital to fix it up. The ankle looked bad like ! Must have been pretty sore ! I handed in my essay and then just to add to the crap 12 hours or whatever it had been I waited in the shitty weather for a half hour fir the bus to come. When it eventually did, the bastard took an hour and 40 minutes to get my ass home. Not amused.
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
'chillax'
What the fuck is with people and using the word 'chillax' !!!! Seriously, it pisses me of something rotten. I don't get it, say chill or say relax, or do us all a favour and just say nothing ! I don't get it. Is it such an effort. It's just a stupid fucking hybrid, incest word, ahhhhh, I hate it. Please god people, stop saying it, end this fucking madness !
That is all
I'll be talking to ya xxx
That is all
I'll be talking to ya xxx
'chillax'
What the fuck is with people and using the word 'chillax' !!!! Seriously, it pisses me of something rotten. I don't get it, say chill or say relax, or do us all a favour and just say nothing ! I don't get it. Is it such an effort. It's just a stupid fucking hybrid, incest word, ahhhhh, I hate it. Please god people, stop saying it, end this fucking madness !
That is all
I'll be talking to ya xxx
That is all
I'll be talking to ya xxx
Hailing For Taxi's
This is a little info post.
'hailing for taxi's' are a band, at this moment in time, completely unformed and vastly untalented, but that is just for the moment. They are my little project, David's aswel, we are both going to be In the band and be the general directors of the entire process.
Now I can't speak for Dave, but I'd hope to have it all coming together around late 2011 to early 2012. Of course this depends on numerous factors but I'd like it to at least be getting of the ground around then.
So far all I can confirm is the name of the 'project' and therefore the band. Also that the line-up shall include Dave on guitar and myself on guitar/vocals. Of course we will need other band members and that is an active search....
Any guitarist, bassists, drummers and maybe even keyboards players contact me if interested (07846618937). Assholes need not apply. What I'm really going for is a big sound, fast paced choruses combined with nice, melodic versus, somewere between U2 & Lifehouse, with some Springsteen(esque) lyrics thrown in for good measure. That's how the band sound in my head anyway, playing a good, healthy balance of original material and cover tracks.
Ok, so everyone be patient, this is gonna take it's time, but I think you shoud be excited :) Get ready to hail some taxi's !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
'hailing for taxi's' are a band, at this moment in time, completely unformed and vastly untalented, but that is just for the moment. They are my little project, David's aswel, we are both going to be In the band and be the general directors of the entire process.
Now I can't speak for Dave, but I'd hope to have it all coming together around late 2011 to early 2012. Of course this depends on numerous factors but I'd like it to at least be getting of the ground around then.
So far all I can confirm is the name of the 'project' and therefore the band. Also that the line-up shall include Dave on guitar and myself on guitar/vocals. Of course we will need other band members and that is an active search....
Any guitarist, bassists, drummers and maybe even keyboards players contact me if interested (07846618937). Assholes need not apply. What I'm really going for is a big sound, fast paced choruses combined with nice, melodic versus, somewere between U2 & Lifehouse, with some Springsteen(esque) lyrics thrown in for good measure. That's how the band sound in my head anyway, playing a good, healthy balance of original material and cover tracks.
Ok, so everyone be patient, this is gonna take it's time, but I think you shoud be excited :) Get ready to hail some taxi's !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Hailing For Taxi's
This is a little info post.
'hailing for taxi's' are a band, at this moment in time, completely unformed and vastly untalented, but that is just for the moment. They are my little project, David's aswel, we are both going to be In the band and be the general directors of the entire process.
Now I can't speak for Dave, but I'd hope to have it all coming together around late 2011 to early 2012. Of course this depends on numerous factors but I'd like it to at least be getting of the ground around then.
So far all I can confirm is the name of the 'project' and therefore the band. Also that the line-up shall include Dave on guitar and myself on guitar/vocals. Of course we will need other band members and that is an active search....
Any guitarist, bassists, drummers and maybe even keyboards players contact me if interested (07846618937). Assholes need not apply. What I'm really going for is a big sound, fast paced choruses combined with nice, melodic versus, somewere between U2 & Lifehouse, with some Springsteen(esque) lyrics thrown in for good measure. That's how the band sound in my head anyway, playing a good, healthy balance of original material and cover tracks.
Ok, so everyone be patient, this is gonna take it's time, but I think you shoud be excited :) Get ready to hail some taxi's !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
'hailing for taxi's' are a band, at this moment in time, completely unformed and vastly untalented, but that is just for the moment. They are my little project, David's aswel, we are both going to be In the band and be the general directors of the entire process.
Now I can't speak for Dave, but I'd hope to have it all coming together around late 2011 to early 2012. Of course this depends on numerous factors but I'd like it to at least be getting of the ground around then.
So far all I can confirm is the name of the 'project' and therefore the band. Also that the line-up shall include Dave on guitar and myself on guitar/vocals. Of course we will need other band members and that is an active search....
Any guitarist, bassists, drummers and maybe even keyboards players contact me if interested (07846618937). Assholes need not apply. What I'm really going for is a big sound, fast paced choruses combined with nice, melodic versus, somewere between U2 & Lifehouse, with some Springsteen(esque) lyrics thrown in for good measure. That's how the band sound in my head anyway, playing a good, healthy balance of original material and cover tracks.
Ok, so everyone be patient, this is gonna take it's time, but I think you shoud be excited :) Get ready to hail some taxi's !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Monday, 22 February 2010
X- rated Ice Hockey
This morning Finland played arch rivals Sweden in their Olympic ice hockey fixture. It was a 5am kick of, which Is a bugger as I'm currently sleep deprived but worth it for sure. My finish friends came round to watch the game/drink and it ended up a good fun evening and morning. Although, Finland did get absoloutly raped in the end, going down 3-0 to a Sweden team that never looked remotely stretched or threatened.
However for me the highlight wasn't the hockey, although it is quite a good sport must be said, but no my main enjoyment lay elsewere. The highlight for me was the time spent with my Finnish (non) girlfriend ! As usual it was fantastic, hot, dirty and just totally fucking awesome. Even when her sister was in the room, sitting an arms lenth away, our hands were still buzy under covers :L That is what I call a bit excitement. But it's not just sexual. We lay holding hands for hours, just being close to each other, I can't help but love those moments, even with all the sex stuff and what not, it's the more simple things line that which seem more real to me.
I really am begining to like this girl alot. There was about a months period when I gad basicly given up o. The whole idea, as regular readers will know, but now I really think it's worth it. I'm aware of what it can and therefore cannot be but I'm happy with that. For the first time in a long time I'm not too bothered about all the bullshit details. Truthfully, I just wanna spend time with her. And that (atm) is possible, I'm happy with it :)
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
However for me the highlight wasn't the hockey, although it is quite a good sport must be said, but no my main enjoyment lay elsewere. The highlight for me was the time spent with my Finnish (non) girlfriend ! As usual it was fantastic, hot, dirty and just totally fucking awesome. Even when her sister was in the room, sitting an arms lenth away, our hands were still buzy under covers :L That is what I call a bit excitement. But it's not just sexual. We lay holding hands for hours, just being close to each other, I can't help but love those moments, even with all the sex stuff and what not, it's the more simple things line that which seem more real to me.
I really am begining to like this girl alot. There was about a months period when I gad basicly given up o. The whole idea, as regular readers will know, but now I really think it's worth it. I'm aware of what it can and therefore cannot be but I'm happy with that. For the first time in a long time I'm not too bothered about all the bullshit details. Truthfully, I just wanna spend time with her. And that (atm) is possible, I'm happy with it :)
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
X- rated Ice Hockey
This morning Finland played arch rivals Sweden in their Olympic ice hockey fixture. It was a 5am kick of, which Is a bugger as I'm currently sleep deprived but worth it for sure. My finish friends came round to watch the game/drink and it ended up a good fun evening and morning. Although, Finland did get absoloutly raped in the end, going down 3-0 to a Sweden team that never looked remotely stretched or threatened.
However for me the highlight wasn't the hockey, although it is quite a good sport must be said, but no my main enjoyment lay elsewere. The highlight for me was the time spent with my Finnish (non) girlfriend ! As usual it was fantastic, hot, dirty and just totally fucking awesome. Even when her sister was in the room, sitting an arms lenth away, our hands were still buzy under covers :L That is what I call a bit excitement. But it's not just sexual. We lay holding hands for hours, just being close to each other, I can't help but love those moments, even with all the sex stuff and what not, it's the more simple things line that which seem more real to me.
I really am begining to like this girl alot. There was about a months period when I gad basicly given up o. The whole idea, as regular readers will know, but now I really think it's worth it. I'm aware of what it can and therefore cannot be but I'm happy with that. For the first time in a long time I'm not too bothered about all the bullshit details. Truthfully, I just wanna spend time with her. And that (atm) is possible, I'm happy with it :)
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
However for me the highlight wasn't the hockey, although it is quite a good sport must be said, but no my main enjoyment lay elsewere. The highlight for me was the time spent with my Finnish (non) girlfriend ! As usual it was fantastic, hot, dirty and just totally fucking awesome. Even when her sister was in the room, sitting an arms lenth away, our hands were still buzy under covers :L That is what I call a bit excitement. But it's not just sexual. We lay holding hands for hours, just being close to each other, I can't help but love those moments, even with all the sex stuff and what not, it's the more simple things line that which seem more real to me.
I really am begining to like this girl alot. There was about a months period when I gad basicly given up o. The whole idea, as regular readers will know, but now I really think it's worth it. I'm aware of what it can and therefore cannot be but I'm happy with that. For the first time in a long time I'm not too bothered about all the bullshit details. Truthfully, I just wanna spend time with her. And that (atm) is possible, I'm happy with it :)
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
The Lady In Black
On Saturday night there I opted for a little change of pace and went off to the kings theatre to see a play. The show was called the lady in black !
I went along with a friend (Jed) who, despite knowing now for a good few month, I havn't actually spent all that much one-to-one time with, especially outside of uni. There wasn't any reason to worry but, as the night was great. Jed truelly is a real 'stand-up guy', it was nice to have some hang time with just him y'kno.
Now the performance itself. Oh my fecking Christ ! Immense ! Seriously, this could well be the single best stage show I have EVER (yes, that's EVER) seen live. It was just pitch perfect from the first scene. I honestly canny adequately describe just how sensational it was. In it's simplest form it is a good story, a good, old fashioned, horror tale. Full of jumps, screams and revenge. But it is far more intelligent then just this, a clever format adds to the viewing experience and a great final act twist leaves you with goosebumps !
Please, please, please, if the opportunity comes, give the show a watch, it's 100% worth the admission, especially If you enjoy being terrified ! Go see, go, go.....
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
I went along with a friend (Jed) who, despite knowing now for a good few month, I havn't actually spent all that much one-to-one time with, especially outside of uni. There wasn't any reason to worry but, as the night was great. Jed truelly is a real 'stand-up guy', it was nice to have some hang time with just him y'kno.
Now the performance itself. Oh my fecking Christ ! Immense ! Seriously, this could well be the single best stage show I have EVER (yes, that's EVER) seen live. It was just pitch perfect from the first scene. I honestly canny adequately describe just how sensational it was. In it's simplest form it is a good story, a good, old fashioned, horror tale. Full of jumps, screams and revenge. But it is far more intelligent then just this, a clever format adds to the viewing experience and a great final act twist leaves you with goosebumps !
Please, please, please, if the opportunity comes, give the show a watch, it's 100% worth the admission, especially If you enjoy being terrified ! Go see, go, go.....
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
The Lady In Black
On Saturday night there I opted for a little change of pace and went off to the kings theatre to see a play. The show was called the lady in black !
I went along with a friend (Jed) who, despite knowing now for a good few month, I havn't actually spent all that much one-to-one time with, especially outside of uni. There wasn't any reason to worry but, as the night was great. Jed truelly is a real 'stand-up guy', it was nice to have some hang time with just him y'kno.
Now the performance itself. Oh my fecking Christ ! Immense ! Seriously, this could well be the single best stage show I have EVER (yes, that's EVER) seen live. It was just pitch perfect from the first scene. I honestly canny adequately describe just how sensational it was. In it's simplest form it is a good story, a good, old fashioned, horror tale. Full of jumps, screams and revenge. But it is far more intelligent then just this, a clever format adds to the viewing experience and a great final act twist leaves you with goosebumps !
Please, please, please, if the opportunity comes, give the show a watch, it's 100% worth the admission, especially If you enjoy being terrified ! Go see, go, go.....
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
I went along with a friend (Jed) who, despite knowing now for a good few month, I havn't actually spent all that much one-to-one time with, especially outside of uni. There wasn't any reason to worry but, as the night was great. Jed truelly is a real 'stand-up guy', it was nice to have some hang time with just him y'kno.
Now the performance itself. Oh my fecking Christ ! Immense ! Seriously, this could well be the single best stage show I have EVER (yes, that's EVER) seen live. It was just pitch perfect from the first scene. I honestly canny adequately describe just how sensational it was. In it's simplest form it is a good story, a good, old fashioned, horror tale. Full of jumps, screams and revenge. But it is far more intelligent then just this, a clever format adds to the viewing experience and a great final act twist leaves you with goosebumps !
Please, please, please, if the opportunity comes, give the show a watch, it's 100% worth the admission, especially If you enjoy being terrified ! Go see, go, go.....
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
Saturday, 13 February 2010
It Is What It Is
This is the lyrics to one of the tracks of Lifehouse's new album, released on the 2nd March. The song (from the 20 second sample i've heard) has the potential to be brilliant and the lyrics are (as always) top notch. Jason Wade can write songs better then almost anybody ! Can't wait for the album !.
IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR A SHORTCUT HOMEBUT IT'S COMPLICATEDSO COMPLICATED SOMEWHERE IN THIS CITY IS A ROAD I KNOW WHERE WE COULD MAKE IT BUT MAYBE THERE'S NO MAKING IT NOW
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY TRYING TO BURY THE PAIN BUT I MADE YOU CRY AND I CAN'T STOP THE CRYING WAS ONLY TRYING TO SAVE ME BUT I LOST YOU AGAIN NOW THERE'S ONLY LYING WISH I COULD SAY IT'S ONLY ME
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
HERE IT COMES READY OR NOT WE BOTH FOUND OUT IT'S NOT HOW WE THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE, HOW IT WOULD BEIF THE TIME COULD TURN US AROUND WHAT ONCE WAS LOST MAY BE FOUND FOR YOU AND ME, FOR YOU AND ME
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR A SHORTCUT HOMEBUT IT'S COMPLICATED SO COMPLICATED
IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR A SHORTCUT HOMEBUT IT'S COMPLICATEDSO COMPLICATED SOMEWHERE IN THIS CITY IS A ROAD I KNOW WHERE WE COULD MAKE IT BUT MAYBE THERE'S NO MAKING IT NOW
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY TRYING TO BURY THE PAIN BUT I MADE YOU CRY AND I CAN'T STOP THE CRYING WAS ONLY TRYING TO SAVE ME BUT I LOST YOU AGAIN NOW THERE'S ONLY LYING WISH I COULD SAY IT'S ONLY ME
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
HERE IT COMES READY OR NOT WE BOTH FOUND OUT IT'S NOT HOW WE THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE, HOW IT WOULD BEIF THE TIME COULD TURN US AROUND WHAT ONCE WAS LOST MAY BE FOUND FOR YOU AND ME, FOR YOU AND ME
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR A SHORTCUT HOMEBUT IT'S COMPLICATED SO COMPLICATED
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
It Is What It Is
This is the lyrics to one of the tracks of Lifehouse's new album, released on the 2nd March. The song (from the 20 second sample i've heard) has the potential to be brilliant and the lyrics are (as always) top notch. Jason Wade can write songs better then almost anybody ! Can't wait for the album !.
IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR A SHORTCUT HOMEBUT IT'S COMPLICATEDSO COMPLICATED SOMEWHERE IN THIS CITY IS A ROAD I KNOW WHERE WE COULD MAKE IT BUT MAYBE THERE'S NO MAKING IT NOW
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY TRYING TO BURY THE PAIN BUT I MADE YOU CRY AND I CAN'T STOP THE CRYING WAS ONLY TRYING TO SAVE ME BUT I LOST YOU AGAIN NOW THERE'S ONLY LYING WISH I COULD SAY IT'S ONLY ME
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
HERE IT COMES READY OR NOT WE BOTH FOUND OUT IT'S NOT HOW WE THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE, HOW IT WOULD BEIF THE TIME COULD TURN US AROUND WHAT ONCE WAS LOST MAY BE FOUND FOR YOU AND ME, FOR YOU AND ME
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR A SHORTCUT HOMEBUT IT'S COMPLICATED SO COMPLICATED
IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR A SHORTCUT HOMEBUT IT'S COMPLICATEDSO COMPLICATED SOMEWHERE IN THIS CITY IS A ROAD I KNOW WHERE WE COULD MAKE IT BUT MAYBE THERE'S NO MAKING IT NOW
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY TRYING TO BURY THE PAIN BUT I MADE YOU CRY AND I CAN'T STOP THE CRYING WAS ONLY TRYING TO SAVE ME BUT I LOST YOU AGAIN NOW THERE'S ONLY LYING WISH I COULD SAY IT'S ONLY ME
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
HERE IT COMES READY OR NOT WE BOTH FOUND OUT IT'S NOT HOW WE THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE, HOW IT WOULD BEIF THE TIME COULD TURN US AROUND WHAT ONCE WAS LOST MAY BE FOUND FOR YOU AND ME, FOR YOU AND ME
TOO LONG WE'VE BEEN DENYING NOW WE'RE BOTH TIRED OF TRYING WE HIT A WALL AND WE CAN'T GET OVER IT NOTHING TO RELIVE IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE YOU SAID IT, I GET IT I GUESS IT IS WHAT IT IS
I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR A SHORTCUT HOMEBUT IT'S COMPLICATED SO COMPLICATED
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
Right......
On Thursday night there, things pipped up :) It was a great night, and around 7am lying in bed at my Finish peeps flat it came to a perfect end.
The night started at the student union, with my Irish buddy, but was oly there for a wee while before me and her headed of to hive. Met a bunch of other people there and had a great time.
However, the main moment of the night (Or morning) depending on how you look at it came muh later. A massive pillow chat with the person who's been one of my main foucuses of my last few months, culminating in a very unique and amusing, but totally hot, bedroom encounter. I had almost shelved this whole situation as another one which burned out after a certain amount of time, but it looks like it's back on going. I am quite pleased with this. As you may well guess. Looking onward with interest about how this will play out. I know exactly were it won't go and am well aware that it'll never be anything more then what we have. But sometimes it is extremely satisfying to just know that not only can a person be a very close friend, but also that little bit more. I'm happy at this moment.
On slightly less pleasing news, celtic manged to draw 4-4 to day with Aberdeen. Throwing awy a two goal lead in about 10 minutes ! They are rather hopeless :( Oooh well, i remain sceptical. But no point allowing it all to piss me off.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx
The night started at the student union, with my Irish buddy, but was oly there for a wee while before me and her headed of to hive. Met a bunch of other people there and had a great time.
However, the main moment of the night (Or morning) depending on how you look at it came muh later. A massive pillow chat with the person who's been one of my main foucuses of my last few months, culminating in a very unique and amusing, but totally hot, bedroom encounter. I had almost shelved this whole situation as another one which burned out after a certain amount of time, but it looks like it's back on going. I am quite pleased with this. As you may well guess. Looking onward with interest about how this will play out. I know exactly were it won't go and am well aware that it'll never be anything more then what we have. But sometimes it is extremely satisfying to just know that not only can a person be a very close friend, but also that little bit more. I'm happy at this moment.
On slightly less pleasing news, celtic manged to draw 4-4 to day with Aberdeen. Throwing awy a two goal lead in about 10 minutes ! They are rather hopeless :( Oooh well, i remain sceptical. But no point allowing it all to piss me off.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx
Right......
On Thursday night there, things pipped up :) It was a great night, and around 7am lying in bed at my Finish peeps flat it came to a perfect end.
The night started at the student union, with my Irish buddy, but was oly there for a wee while before me and her headed of to hive. Met a bunch of other people there and had a great time.
However, the main moment of the night (Or morning) depending on how you look at it came muh later. A massive pillow chat with the person who's been one of my main foucuses of my last few months, culminating in a very unique and amusing, but totally hot, bedroom encounter. I had almost shelved this whole situation as another one which burned out after a certain amount of time, but it looks like it's back on going. I am quite pleased with this. As you may well guess. Looking onward with interest about how this will play out. I know exactly were it won't go and am well aware that it'll never be anything more then what we have. But sometimes it is extremely satisfying to just know that not only can a person be a very close friend, but also that little bit more. I'm happy at this moment.
On slightly less pleasing news, celtic manged to draw 4-4 to day with Aberdeen. Throwing awy a two goal lead in about 10 minutes ! They are rather hopeless :( Oooh well, i remain sceptical. But no point allowing it all to piss me off.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx
The night started at the student union, with my Irish buddy, but was oly there for a wee while before me and her headed of to hive. Met a bunch of other people there and had a great time.
However, the main moment of the night (Or morning) depending on how you look at it came muh later. A massive pillow chat with the person who's been one of my main foucuses of my last few months, culminating in a very unique and amusing, but totally hot, bedroom encounter. I had almost shelved this whole situation as another one which burned out after a certain amount of time, but it looks like it's back on going. I am quite pleased with this. As you may well guess. Looking onward with interest about how this will play out. I know exactly were it won't go and am well aware that it'll never be anything more then what we have. But sometimes it is extremely satisfying to just know that not only can a person be a very close friend, but also that little bit more. I'm happy at this moment.
On slightly less pleasing news, celtic manged to draw 4-4 to day with Aberdeen. Throwing awy a two goal lead in about 10 minutes ! They are rather hopeless :( Oooh well, i remain sceptical. But no point allowing it all to piss me off.
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx
Friday, 5 February 2010
A kind of illusion
I was having a long, hard think about everything earlier on. About how my life is shaping and basicly how on the surface everything is fine and going well, but underneath I'm really needing to make some choices. It's difficult to put it down, but that won't stop me from trying. It's like I have created this little sphere of life for myself, when I'm in there it's grand. Everything is great and life is fun, but it isn't real. Well it is, it happens, but it's forced, it's the way I can deal with things without having to face up to my choices and decisions. The truth is though I would much rather just break down all that bullshit and try and grow the fuck up and face up to everything, instead of pretending that I love this 'no ties, no responsibility' way of living I've built up. Truth is it doesn't work for me, I cannot just waltse through life pretending I don't care and acting all nonchelant. Truth is I do care, alot, but I'm scared, petrified of 'rocking the boat' so to speak.
It's no secret that (despite the act I put on) I do develop emotions for people, places etc, very easily. Dangerously so infact, to the extent that even if I don't want to, I'm always certain to become dependent and emotionally involved, especially with people. Trouble is, I can't bring myself to act on these feelings, I'm too scared of being hurt, again, and I'm all too aware that no matter what I do or how hard I try, any sort of relationship will come to an end, I'll fuck it up somehow. The only way to avoid this is to stay well fucking clear of any sort of 'traditional' relationship protocal, but as I'm all to aware I can't deal with that.
When it comes down to it, even though I will always claim the opposite, what I really want isn't complicated. I just want to feel wanted, I crave that sense of involvment and importance that comes with being 'that someone special'. But I can't bring myself to do it, I can't even remember now how that would be possible, to allow somebody so close, so personal. I would love to make it happen, but I just can't.
Y'see quite simply I'm petrified. Completely frightened by the idea of even bringing that coversation up, what if it ruins everything ? What if I'm laughed at, turned away. I'm a complete bombscare, unpredictable, rash, sometimes cruel and manipulative. Nobody would ever want to, or even deserve to be so unfortunate as to be with me. However, despite all of that, I still think that given the opportunity, I could still be the best boyfriend in the world, although it may contradict what I said just previous. I'm done it before and I can do it again, I may have changed substantially in the last two years, but that same person is still there, I can be a nice guy, if given the opportunity, and the will to do so.
The last year I have not been a nice guy, I can't argue with that. Infact only now am I realising that maybe I have to change my outlook. The truth is, I have treated my life as a game, I've allowed the risks to be high, and accepted everything that's went with it. I havn't been happy with it though. Treating my life as an unimportant peice of shit is one thing, but I've roped others in, nice people who don't deserve it. I have hurt people, made them cry, ruined nights for others, made a general mess, I couldn't help it, but maybe I should try too, cut out all this bullshit. I have to start remembering that to others maybe all of this isn't a game, maybe it is there real feelings that I'm hurting, maybe they don't suppress everything like me and therefore I'm hurting them with my actions. I really don't want to hurt anybody, especially the peope that i really do care for. I just wish I could say it, to tell them, not in a bullshitty way, but with sincerity, because I do mean it. I just want everything to be perfect, and I know that's impossible.
I made a decision last month, a choice, which unexpectedly caused alot of trouble, to me it was just another option to take, and it was worth it, I stand by it, I have too. If I denied that I enjoyed every minute I'd be lying. But I think that whatever that was is now finished, I could be wrong, but with great sadness I think I'll just have to accept that that is a brief moment in my life, which like so many others, passed to quickly, but was good for what it was. But I need to ask myself whether, If I just stepped out this comfort zone of mine, and made the effort, would it change things. The signs, hints, looks, suggestion has all Bern present, but like so many times previous, I can't afford to take that plunge. I stand to lose to much. And whilst my current situation isn't ideal, I couldn't deal with losing it all, again.
I just feel that if I actually do like somebody, and there are a few that I think I do just now, trying to make something happen will just result in bad shit happening, I never get the breaks, I never have good luck. And seriously, why can't I for once pick some nice, simple, ordinary girl. Anybody that I cross paths with seem to be a constant challenge, never like the simple relationships I see others having. It never seems to be black and White with me, there is always uncertainties, the grey area. I have no idea.
Cards on the table, I've acted immature, like a total dick, and without thought or care for others, despite my admiration and love for them. Maybe, just maybe it's time to try and unravel the illusion, and just be 'me' again, whatever that means,
I'm just so fucking scared, I can't deal with all of this anymore, it's just to much, I really am sorry, I promise I will make it up to everybody soon, I'll do good. Serious.
I'll be talkin to ya xXx
It's no secret that (despite the act I put on) I do develop emotions for people, places etc, very easily. Dangerously so infact, to the extent that even if I don't want to, I'm always certain to become dependent and emotionally involved, especially with people. Trouble is, I can't bring myself to act on these feelings, I'm too scared of being hurt, again, and I'm all too aware that no matter what I do or how hard I try, any sort of relationship will come to an end, I'll fuck it up somehow. The only way to avoid this is to stay well fucking clear of any sort of 'traditional' relationship protocal, but as I'm all to aware I can't deal with that.
When it comes down to it, even though I will always claim the opposite, what I really want isn't complicated. I just want to feel wanted, I crave that sense of involvment and importance that comes with being 'that someone special'. But I can't bring myself to do it, I can't even remember now how that would be possible, to allow somebody so close, so personal. I would love to make it happen, but I just can't.
Y'see quite simply I'm petrified. Completely frightened by the idea of even bringing that coversation up, what if it ruins everything ? What if I'm laughed at, turned away. I'm a complete bombscare, unpredictable, rash, sometimes cruel and manipulative. Nobody would ever want to, or even deserve to be so unfortunate as to be with me. However, despite all of that, I still think that given the opportunity, I could still be the best boyfriend in the world, although it may contradict what I said just previous. I'm done it before and I can do it again, I may have changed substantially in the last two years, but that same person is still there, I can be a nice guy, if given the opportunity, and the will to do so.
The last year I have not been a nice guy, I can't argue with that. Infact only now am I realising that maybe I have to change my outlook. The truth is, I have treated my life as a game, I've allowed the risks to be high, and accepted everything that's went with it. I havn't been happy with it though. Treating my life as an unimportant peice of shit is one thing, but I've roped others in, nice people who don't deserve it. I have hurt people, made them cry, ruined nights for others, made a general mess, I couldn't help it, but maybe I should try too, cut out all this bullshit. I have to start remembering that to others maybe all of this isn't a game, maybe it is there real feelings that I'm hurting, maybe they don't suppress everything like me and therefore I'm hurting them with my actions. I really don't want to hurt anybody, especially the peope that i really do care for. I just wish I could say it, to tell them, not in a bullshitty way, but with sincerity, because I do mean it. I just want everything to be perfect, and I know that's impossible.
I made a decision last month, a choice, which unexpectedly caused alot of trouble, to me it was just another option to take, and it was worth it, I stand by it, I have too. If I denied that I enjoyed every minute I'd be lying. But I think that whatever that was is now finished, I could be wrong, but with great sadness I think I'll just have to accept that that is a brief moment in my life, which like so many others, passed to quickly, but was good for what it was. But I need to ask myself whether, If I just stepped out this comfort zone of mine, and made the effort, would it change things. The signs, hints, looks, suggestion has all Bern present, but like so many times previous, I can't afford to take that plunge. I stand to lose to much. And whilst my current situation isn't ideal, I couldn't deal with losing it all, again.
I just feel that if I actually do like somebody, and there are a few that I think I do just now, trying to make something happen will just result in bad shit happening, I never get the breaks, I never have good luck. And seriously, why can't I for once pick some nice, simple, ordinary girl. Anybody that I cross paths with seem to be a constant challenge, never like the simple relationships I see others having. It never seems to be black and White with me, there is always uncertainties, the grey area. I have no idea.
Cards on the table, I've acted immature, like a total dick, and without thought or care for others, despite my admiration and love for them. Maybe, just maybe it's time to try and unravel the illusion, and just be 'me' again, whatever that means,
I'm just so fucking scared, I can't deal with all of this anymore, it's just to much, I really am sorry, I promise I will make it up to everybody soon, I'll do good. Serious.
I'll be talkin to ya xXx
A kind of illusion
I was having a long, hard think about everything earlier on. About how my life is shaping and basicly how on the surface everything is fine and going well, but underneath I'm really needing to make some choices. It's difficult to put it down, but that won't stop me from trying. It's like I have created this little sphere of life for myself, when I'm in there it's grand. Everything is great and life is fun, but it isn't real. Well it is, it happens, but it's forced, it's the way I can deal with things without having to face up to my choices and decisions. The truth is though I would much rather just break down all that bullshit and try and grow the fuck up and face up to everything, instead of pretending that I love this 'no ties, no responsibility' way of living I've built up. Truth is it doesn't work for me, I cannot just waltse through life pretending I don't care and acting all nonchelant. Truth is I do care, alot, but I'm scared, petrified of 'rocking the boat' so to speak.
It's no secret that (despite the act I put on) I do develop emotions for people, places etc, very easily. Dangerously so infact, to the extent that even if I don't want to, I'm always certain to become dependent and emotionally involved, especially with people. Trouble is, I can't bring myself to act on these feelings, I'm too scared of being hurt, again, and I'm all too aware that no matter what I do or how hard I try, any sort of relationship will come to an end, I'll fuck it up somehow. The only way to avoid this is to stay well fucking clear of any sort of 'traditional' relationship protocal, but as I'm all to aware I can't deal with that.
When it comes down to it, even though I will always claim the opposite, what I really want isn't complicated. I just want to feel wanted, I crave that sense of involvment and importance that comes with being 'that someone special'. But I can't bring myself to do it, I can't even remember now how that would be possible, to allow somebody so close, so personal. I would love to make it happen, but I just can't.
Y'see quite simply I'm petrified. Completely frightened by the idea of even bringing that coversation up, what if it ruins everything ? What if I'm laughed at, turned away. I'm a complete bombscare, unpredictable, rash, sometimes cruel and manipulative. Nobody would ever want to, or even deserve to be so unfortunate as to be with me. However, despite all of that, I still think that given the opportunity, I could still be the best boyfriend in the world, although it may contradict what I said just previous. I'm done it before and I can do it again, I may have changed substantially in the last two years, but that same person is still there, I can be a nice guy, if given the opportunity, and the will to do so.
The last year I have not been a nice guy, I can't argue with that. Infact only now am I realising that maybe I have to change my outlook. The truth is, I have treated my life as a game, I've allowed the risks to be high, and accepted everything that's went with it. I havn't been happy with it though. Treating my life as an unimportant peice of shit is one thing, but I've roped others in, nice people who don't deserve it. I have hurt people, made them cry, ruined nights for others, made a general mess, I couldn't help it, but maybe I should try too, cut out all this bullshit. I have to start remembering that to others maybe all of this isn't a game, maybe it is there real feelings that I'm hurting, maybe they don't suppress everything like me and therefore I'm hurting them with my actions. I really don't want to hurt anybody, especially the peope that i really do care for. I just wish I could say it, to tell them, not in a bullshitty way, but with sincerity, because I do mean it. I just want everything to be perfect, and I know that's impossible.
I made a decision last month, a choice, which unexpectedly caused alot of trouble, to me it was just another option to take, and it was worth it, I stand by it, I have too. If I denied that I enjoyed every minute I'd be lying. But I think that whatever that was is now finished, I could be wrong, but with great sadness I think I'll just have to accept that that is a brief moment in my life, which like so many others, passed to quickly, but was good for what it was. But I need to ask myself whether, If I just stepped out this comfort zone of mine, and made the effort, would it change things. The signs, hints, looks, suggestion has all Bern present, but like so many times previous, I can't afford to take that plunge. I stand to lose to much. And whilst my current situation isn't ideal, I couldn't deal with losing it all, again.
I just feel that if I actually do like somebody, and there are a few that I think I do just now, trying to make something happen will just result in bad shit happening, I never get the breaks, I never have good luck. And seriously, why can't I for once pick some nice, simple, ordinary girl. Anybody that I cross paths with seem to be a constant challenge, never like the simple relationships I see others having. It never seems to be black and White with me, there is always uncertainties, the grey area. I have no idea.
Cards on the table, I've acted immature, like a total dick, and without thought or care for others, despite my admiration and love for them. Maybe, just maybe it's time to try and unravel the illusion, and just be 'me' again, whatever that means,
I'm just so fucking scared, I can't deal with all of this anymore, it's just to much, I really am sorry, I promise I will make it up to everybody soon, I'll do good. Serious.
I'll be talkin to ya xXx
It's no secret that (despite the act I put on) I do develop emotions for people, places etc, very easily. Dangerously so infact, to the extent that even if I don't want to, I'm always certain to become dependent and emotionally involved, especially with people. Trouble is, I can't bring myself to act on these feelings, I'm too scared of being hurt, again, and I'm all too aware that no matter what I do or how hard I try, any sort of relationship will come to an end, I'll fuck it up somehow. The only way to avoid this is to stay well fucking clear of any sort of 'traditional' relationship protocal, but as I'm all to aware I can't deal with that.
When it comes down to it, even though I will always claim the opposite, what I really want isn't complicated. I just want to feel wanted, I crave that sense of involvment and importance that comes with being 'that someone special'. But I can't bring myself to do it, I can't even remember now how that would be possible, to allow somebody so close, so personal. I would love to make it happen, but I just can't.
Y'see quite simply I'm petrified. Completely frightened by the idea of even bringing that coversation up, what if it ruins everything ? What if I'm laughed at, turned away. I'm a complete bombscare, unpredictable, rash, sometimes cruel and manipulative. Nobody would ever want to, or even deserve to be so unfortunate as to be with me. However, despite all of that, I still think that given the opportunity, I could still be the best boyfriend in the world, although it may contradict what I said just previous. I'm done it before and I can do it again, I may have changed substantially in the last two years, but that same person is still there, I can be a nice guy, if given the opportunity, and the will to do so.
The last year I have not been a nice guy, I can't argue with that. Infact only now am I realising that maybe I have to change my outlook. The truth is, I have treated my life as a game, I've allowed the risks to be high, and accepted everything that's went with it. I havn't been happy with it though. Treating my life as an unimportant peice of shit is one thing, but I've roped others in, nice people who don't deserve it. I have hurt people, made them cry, ruined nights for others, made a general mess, I couldn't help it, but maybe I should try too, cut out all this bullshit. I have to start remembering that to others maybe all of this isn't a game, maybe it is there real feelings that I'm hurting, maybe they don't suppress everything like me and therefore I'm hurting them with my actions. I really don't want to hurt anybody, especially the peope that i really do care for. I just wish I could say it, to tell them, not in a bullshitty way, but with sincerity, because I do mean it. I just want everything to be perfect, and I know that's impossible.
I made a decision last month, a choice, which unexpectedly caused alot of trouble, to me it was just another option to take, and it was worth it, I stand by it, I have too. If I denied that I enjoyed every minute I'd be lying. But I think that whatever that was is now finished, I could be wrong, but with great sadness I think I'll just have to accept that that is a brief moment in my life, which like so many others, passed to quickly, but was good for what it was. But I need to ask myself whether, If I just stepped out this comfort zone of mine, and made the effort, would it change things. The signs, hints, looks, suggestion has all Bern present, but like so many times previous, I can't afford to take that plunge. I stand to lose to much. And whilst my current situation isn't ideal, I couldn't deal with losing it all, again.
I just feel that if I actually do like somebody, and there are a few that I think I do just now, trying to make something happen will just result in bad shit happening, I never get the breaks, I never have good luck. And seriously, why can't I for once pick some nice, simple, ordinary girl. Anybody that I cross paths with seem to be a constant challenge, never like the simple relationships I see others having. It never seems to be black and White with me, there is always uncertainties, the grey area. I have no idea.
Cards on the table, I've acted immature, like a total dick, and without thought or care for others, despite my admiration and love for them. Maybe, just maybe it's time to try and unravel the illusion, and just be 'me' again, whatever that means,
I'm just so fucking scared, I can't deal with all of this anymore, it's just to much, I really am sorry, I promise I will make it up to everybody soon, I'll do good. Serious.
I'll be talkin to ya xXx
Make me a bird.
'Dear God, make me a bird,
So I can fly, far away,
far far away from here.'
I'll be talkin to ya xx
So I can fly, far away,
far far away from here.'
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Make me a bird.
'Dear God, make me a bird,
So I can fly, far away,
far far away from here.'
I'll be talkin to ya xx
So I can fly, far away,
far far away from here.'
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Thursday, 4 February 2010
Some Pain
I will confess that for the first time in a long time, I cut myself yesterday.
It hurt like fuck, agony actually.
It was the first time I'd felt anything other then sadness in weeks.
I don't regret it.
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
It hurt like fuck, agony actually.
It was the first time I'd felt anything other then sadness in weeks.
I don't regret it.
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
Some Pain
I will confess that for the first time in a long time, I cut myself yesterday.
It hurt like fuck, agony actually.
It was the first time I'd felt anything other then sadness in weeks.
I don't regret it.
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
It hurt like fuck, agony actually.
It was the first time I'd felt anything other then sadness in weeks.
I don't regret it.
I'll be talkin to yaa xx
Die Young, So I Can Live Forever.
So here's the choice ok, think about it.......
You are getting two options about when you will die, two scenarios so to speak. First of all, You die at 40. You have lived 40 great years, made the most of it, had fun, loved, fucked, partied, experienced life. Secondly. You are 95, in a care home, dementia has settled in and you can't rember anybody, your own family, the people who look after you. Your memory is away, all the good years you had are as good as gone, there is nothing to remind yourself of them. You can't even piss without somebody having to help you out. Is this living ?
I thought not.....
I may be in the minority here, but i fully intend on going young, maybe not 40, that was just being used for effect. I mean about 60/65. When the last rements of life are still flying through me. I'm going to go out in fucking style too, a way that people will always remember, it'll be cool as fuck, my 'Deathstar' moment so to speak.
The thought of living on past my own best before date freaks me out. I cannot stand being a hindrance to people, whch i most certaintly will, and ther is nothing i hate more then anything in this world than having to be dependent upon others for things. To depend on others for EVERYTHING would totally kill me.
Of course i understand that some people can get old and not need anybody for anything, but.... they aren't living the life they once did. They spend there time, sitting alone at hime, watching Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women, maybe if ther elucky they might get company every so often. That is not an existance i have any desire go through with.
My mind is fragile enough at the moment ! By the time i'm 60 it''ll be wrecked, well i'd hope so atleast, otherwise i've wasted my time here. I hereby promise that i will have a glorious death, at the end of my prime, before the decay set's in.
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
You are getting two options about when you will die, two scenarios so to speak. First of all, You die at 40. You have lived 40 great years, made the most of it, had fun, loved, fucked, partied, experienced life. Secondly. You are 95, in a care home, dementia has settled in and you can't rember anybody, your own family, the people who look after you. Your memory is away, all the good years you had are as good as gone, there is nothing to remind yourself of them. You can't even piss without somebody having to help you out. Is this living ?
I thought not.....
I may be in the minority here, but i fully intend on going young, maybe not 40, that was just being used for effect. I mean about 60/65. When the last rements of life are still flying through me. I'm going to go out in fucking style too, a way that people will always remember, it'll be cool as fuck, my 'Deathstar' moment so to speak.
The thought of living on past my own best before date freaks me out. I cannot stand being a hindrance to people, whch i most certaintly will, and ther is nothing i hate more then anything in this world than having to be dependent upon others for things. To depend on others for EVERYTHING would totally kill me.
Of course i understand that some people can get old and not need anybody for anything, but.... they aren't living the life they once did. They spend there time, sitting alone at hime, watching Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women, maybe if ther elucky they might get company every so often. That is not an existance i have any desire go through with.
My mind is fragile enough at the moment ! By the time i'm 60 it''ll be wrecked, well i'd hope so atleast, otherwise i've wasted my time here. I hereby promise that i will have a glorious death, at the end of my prime, before the decay set's in.
'It's Better To Burn Out Then Fade Away.'
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
Die Young, So I Can Live Forever.
So here's the choice ok, think about it.......
You are getting two options about when you will die, two scenarios so to speak. First of all, You die at 40. You have lived 40 great years, made the most of it, had fun, loved, fucked, partied, experienced life. Secondly. You are 95, in a care home, dementia has settled in and you can't rember anybody, your own family, the people who look after you. Your memory is away, all the good years you had are as good as gone, there is nothing to remind yourself of them. You can't even piss without somebody having to help you out. Is this living ?
I thought not.....
I may be in the minority here, but i fully intend on going young, maybe not 40, that was just being used for effect. I mean about 60/65. When the last rements of life are still flying through me. I'm going to go out in fucking style too, a way that people will always remember, it'll be cool as fuck, my 'Deathstar' moment so to speak.
The thought of living on past my own best before date freaks me out. I cannot stand being a hindrance to people, whch i most certaintly will, and ther is nothing i hate more then anything in this world than having to be dependent upon others for things. To depend on others for EVERYTHING would totally kill me.
Of course i understand that some people can get old and not need anybody for anything, but.... they aren't living the life they once did. They spend there time, sitting alone at hime, watching Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women, maybe if ther elucky they might get company every so often. That is not an existance i have any desire go through with.
My mind is fragile enough at the moment ! By the time i'm 60 it''ll be wrecked, well i'd hope so atleast, otherwise i've wasted my time here. I hereby promise that i will have a glorious death, at the end of my prime, before the decay set's in.
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
You are getting two options about when you will die, two scenarios so to speak. First of all, You die at 40. You have lived 40 great years, made the most of it, had fun, loved, fucked, partied, experienced life. Secondly. You are 95, in a care home, dementia has settled in and you can't rember anybody, your own family, the people who look after you. Your memory is away, all the good years you had are as good as gone, there is nothing to remind yourself of them. You can't even piss without somebody having to help you out. Is this living ?
I thought not.....
I may be in the minority here, but i fully intend on going young, maybe not 40, that was just being used for effect. I mean about 60/65. When the last rements of life are still flying through me. I'm going to go out in fucking style too, a way that people will always remember, it'll be cool as fuck, my 'Deathstar' moment so to speak.
The thought of living on past my own best before date freaks me out. I cannot stand being a hindrance to people, whch i most certaintly will, and ther is nothing i hate more then anything in this world than having to be dependent upon others for things. To depend on others for EVERYTHING would totally kill me.
Of course i understand that some people can get old and not need anybody for anything, but.... they aren't living the life they once did. They spend there time, sitting alone at hime, watching Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women, maybe if ther elucky they might get company every so often. That is not an existance i have any desire go through with.
My mind is fragile enough at the moment ! By the time i'm 60 it''ll be wrecked, well i'd hope so atleast, otherwise i've wasted my time here. I hereby promise that i will have a glorious death, at the end of my prime, before the decay set's in.
'It's Better To Burn Out Then Fade Away.'
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
I Don't Need.....
This song is the result of me being very bored in a lecture at uni today, it's not great but i kinda liked it :)
Waiting for peter to teach me to fly, take me to neverland, away from here.
I'll go on my own, that doesn't scare me, but i'd sooner have you beisde me, my Maggie Cassiday.
With no expectation, no great expectations, i ask could you be with me ?
All i want is to sit someplace high, stare at the stars, just you and i.
I don't need to love you, i don't need to have you, i just want to hold your hand. Jusy hold your hand.
She's throwing on lipstick, red as the sun, just waiting on a nameless face to kiss it off.
But there is one, a name with a face, She thinks that maybe, just maybe, it could be him,
Who she's been looking for, her Prince Charming, the beast to her beauty.
All i want is to sit someplace high, stare at the stars, just you and i.
I don't need to love you, i don't need to have you, i just want to hold our hand, just hold your hand.
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
I Don't Need.....
This song is the result of me being very bored in a lecture at uni today, it's not great but i kinda liked it :)
Waiting for peter to teach me to fly, take me to neverland, away from here.
I'll go on my own, that doesn't scare me, but i'd sooner have you beisde me, my Maggie Cassiday.
With no expectation, no great expectations, i ask could you be with me ?
All i want is to sit someplace high, stare at the stars, just you and i.
I don't need to love you, i don't need to have you, i just want to hold your hand. Jusy hold your hand.
She's throwing on lipstick, red as the sun, just waiting on a nameless face to kiss it off.
But there is one, a name with a face, She thinks that maybe, just maybe, it could be him,
Who she's been looking for, her Prince Charming, the beast to her beauty.
All i want is to sit someplace high, stare at the stars, just you and i.
I don't need to love you, i don't need to have you, i just want to hold our hand, just hold your hand.
I'll be talkin to ya xxx
The Grammy's 2010
I watched the Grammy's last night. Now i love this award show, it's usually pretty good, whilst the other ones, especially in the music business, have a habit of being fairly shit (looking at you MTV awards...) Last night however, despite my high hopes, totally blew me away !
Wow ! The performances were just fantastic, Pink for starters kicked ass. I love that women, yeah, but she was unbelivable. She sang one of my favourites 'Glitter In The Air' whilst doing a hangy-trapeze type act thing, really high up. Taylor swift was (as usual) very good. A little duet with Stevie Nicks was kinda cool too, if not somewhat random. Then the Black Eyed Peas completely stole the show, they perfromed their newest single first, which then morphed into 'I Gotta Feeling' which i have a feeling could well be the best live version of that song they have yet preformed, fucking outstanding. Bon Jovi done a few songs too, they were good. I'm not a big fan like, but i did enjoy it, the crowd were singing along which always adds an extra layer to the song i think. There was some sappy Michael Jackson tribute thing, just incase we'd forgotten he'd died (seriously bitches, get fucking over it !) Beyonce kicked ass as usual, as did Travis Barker and Eminem, who done some sorta hybird thing which was actually very good. The most surprising performance though has to be Jamie Fox rapping with the guitar solo from 'November Rain' being plaayed live behind him by Slash..... Yeah, that's right... Fucking Slash ! Of Guns&Roses fame.
Ok, that's all there is to say on that really, give it a watch if ya can !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Wow ! The performances were just fantastic, Pink for starters kicked ass. I love that women, yeah, but she was unbelivable. She sang one of my favourites 'Glitter In The Air' whilst doing a hangy-trapeze type act thing, really high up. Taylor swift was (as usual) very good. A little duet with Stevie Nicks was kinda cool too, if not somewhat random. Then the Black Eyed Peas completely stole the show, they perfromed their newest single first, which then morphed into 'I Gotta Feeling' which i have a feeling could well be the best live version of that song they have yet preformed, fucking outstanding. Bon Jovi done a few songs too, they were good. I'm not a big fan like, but i did enjoy it, the crowd were singing along which always adds an extra layer to the song i think. There was some sappy Michael Jackson tribute thing, just incase we'd forgotten he'd died (seriously bitches, get fucking over it !) Beyonce kicked ass as usual, as did Travis Barker and Eminem, who done some sorta hybird thing which was actually very good. The most surprising performance though has to be Jamie Fox rapping with the guitar solo from 'November Rain' being plaayed live behind him by Slash..... Yeah, that's right... Fucking Slash ! Of Guns&Roses fame.
Ok, that's all there is to say on that really, give it a watch if ya can !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
The Grammy's 2010
I watched the Grammy's last night. Now i love this award show, it's usually pretty good, whilst the other ones, especially in the music business, have a habit of being fairly shit (looking at you MTV awards...) Last night however, despite my high hopes, totally blew me away !
Wow ! The performances were just fantastic, Pink for starters kicked ass. I love that women, yeah, but she was unbelivable. She sang one of my favourites 'Glitter In The Air' whilst doing a hangy-trapeze type act thing, really high up. Taylor swift was (as usual) very good. A little duet with Stevie Nicks was kinda cool too, if not somewhat random. Then the Black Eyed Peas completely stole the show, they perfromed their newest single first, which then morphed into 'I Gotta Feeling' which i have a feeling could well be the best live version of that song they have yet preformed, fucking outstanding. Bon Jovi done a few songs too, they were good. I'm not a big fan like, but i did enjoy it, the crowd were singing along which always adds an extra layer to the song i think. There was some sappy Michael Jackson tribute thing, just incase we'd forgotten he'd died (seriously bitches, get fucking over it !) Beyonce kicked ass as usual, as did Travis Barker and Eminem, who done some sorta hybird thing which was actually very good. The most surprising performance though has to be Jamie Fox rapping with the guitar solo from 'November Rain' being plaayed live behind him by Slash..... Yeah, that's right... Fucking Slash ! Of Guns&Roses fame.
Ok, that's all there is to say on that really, give it a watch if ya can !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
Wow ! The performances were just fantastic, Pink for starters kicked ass. I love that women, yeah, but she was unbelivable. She sang one of my favourites 'Glitter In The Air' whilst doing a hangy-trapeze type act thing, really high up. Taylor swift was (as usual) very good. A little duet with Stevie Nicks was kinda cool too, if not somewhat random. Then the Black Eyed Peas completely stole the show, they perfromed their newest single first, which then morphed into 'I Gotta Feeling' which i have a feeling could well be the best live version of that song they have yet preformed, fucking outstanding. Bon Jovi done a few songs too, they were good. I'm not a big fan like, but i did enjoy it, the crowd were singing along which always adds an extra layer to the song i think. There was some sappy Michael Jackson tribute thing, just incase we'd forgotten he'd died (seriously bitches, get fucking over it !) Beyonce kicked ass as usual, as did Travis Barker and Eminem, who done some sorta hybird thing which was actually very good. The most surprising performance though has to be Jamie Fox rapping with the guitar solo from 'November Rain' being plaayed live behind him by Slash..... Yeah, that's right... Fucking Slash ! Of Guns&Roses fame.
Ok, that's all there is to say on that really, give it a watch if ya can !
I'll be talkin to ya xx
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