Time Up, Over, Bye

Why is it, that nothing good can last ? Why must everything special slowly die ?

One month it lasted and for what it was, it was perfect. Sure, in reality it wasn't anything. A collection of random occurences, a long, long line of non-events. But so what ? It was fun, i felt good. Most importantly, i felt happy.

From the view i've got now however, it's over. The chance is gone and i missed the boat. An exciting part of my life sailed of without me. Why though ? Was it an inability on my part to act ? But i kinda did... Or ws it just another case of somebody moving on, backing out ?... Most frightening though, what if their was never anything ? Maybe it was all just a fanciful dream of mine, a flicker in my head thats ended up causing a fucking fire. Evidence can suggest either, but it's bothering me.

Again though, i shouldn't let this affect me. I have far more presing things that i should be worried about, exams mainly, but i''m struggling to focus, i'm being dragged down, mainly by myself in truth. It's been such a strange few months. When i should have been focusing on studying, i've been up and down so many times, dragged through the mud but done so willingly, always after moments of brillinace, seeking to satisfy my addiction.

So, what can i say ? It seems that another point in my life is over, a month that whilst meaning everything to me for the time it lasted, will prove to be nothing but one brief moment in my life, a long line of cause and effect. It will add to me. She will prove to be just another aquaintance, another who got away, an opportunity wasted... But don't be down. Appreciate it for what it was, and loook back and enjoy the memories. It was great, now it's gone. Shit, Deal with it !

Whilst everything good must fade, i pray for a miracle...

As always...

I'll be talkin to ya xx