Satellite

The band satellite have written a song. That song is called 'Ring The Bells', and that song is being reprinted on the inside of the new TWLOHA (To write love on her arms) T-shirts that they are now sellling. The song itself is some kinda beautiful, and if you get the chance i'd ask everyone to check out the site, maybe buy a shirt, and spread the word. Enjoy dear readers :)

http://www.twloha.com/


'Find the words that make it right again
Calling birds help you make it through the night
It's just enough to find a way to open up once again
And learn to take all the beauty that's inside


Well ring the bells that lead you home
Cause the only truth I've ever known
Is that nothing ever hurts us more than love
So circle up your best friends
And we'll celebrate the way it ends
Atleast we live tonight
Atleast we live tonight


Scream out loud
Until you feel again
And hear the sound of how to heal an achin heart
And those that know you most
Can help you to live again
So keep the close
As you're making your new start


Well ring the bells that lead you home
Cause the only truth I've ever known
Is that nothing ever hurts us more than love
So circle up your best friends
And we'll celebrate the way it ends
Atleast we live tonight
Atleast we live tonight


The day you finally turn to dust
And finally hear your name
Brings colors that will never fade away
Sometimes the best in all of us
Can still break down and still give up on love
But it's never gone


Well ring the bells that lead you home
Cause the only truth I've ever known
Is that nothing ever hurts us more than love
So circle up your best friends
And we'll celebrate the way it ends
Atleast we live tonight
Atleast we live tonight' .


I'll be talkin to yaa XxX

Satellite

The band satellite have written a song. That song is called 'Ring The Bells', and that song is being reprinted on the inside of the new TWLOHA (To write love on her arms) T-shirts that they are now sellling. The song itself is some kinda beautiful, and if you get the chance i'd ask everyone to check out the site, maybe buy a shirt, and spread the word. Enjoy dear readers :)

http://www.twloha.com/


'Find the words that make it right again
Calling birds help you make it through the night
It's just enough to find a way to open up once again
And learn to take all the beauty that's inside


Well ring the bells that lead you home
Cause the only truth I've ever known
Is that nothing ever hurts us more than love
So circle up your best friends
And we'll celebrate the way it ends
Atleast we live tonight
Atleast we live tonight


Scream out loud
Until you feel again
And hear the sound of how to heal an achin heart
And those that know you most
Can help you to live again
So keep the close
As you're making your new start


Well ring the bells that lead you home
Cause the only truth I've ever known
Is that nothing ever hurts us more than love
So circle up your best friends
And we'll celebrate the way it ends
Atleast we live tonight
Atleast we live tonight


The day you finally turn to dust
And finally hear your name
Brings colors that will never fade away
Sometimes the best in all of us
Can still break down and still give up on love
But it's never gone


Well ring the bells that lead you home
Cause the only truth I've ever known
Is that nothing ever hurts us more than love
So circle up your best friends
And we'll celebrate the way it ends
Atleast we live tonight
Atleast we live tonight' .


I'll be talkin to yaa XxX

Better Weather

This is a song by the Scottish band Twin Atlantic. There is something entirely lovely about the lyrics. I don;t quite understand what it is, as the song itself itn't all that fantastic. But i suppose the words just really connect with me. The imagery that they conjure is something special and for this the band deserve praise.

'Dearest forgetful,



Here are my guilty hands,


And you take them across your eyes,


They help you remember




This is not a dream,


Could it get any better?


We'll wait out the winter nights,


And laugh along with the better weather.




And we'll forever be in disguise


We're pushing back in the shadows


To help us realize


And we'll forever be in disguise


We're pushing back in the shadows


To help us realize




My science is the answer


You both can play a part in my game.


On chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos rain


On chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos rain




I've been making meadows


I've been making meadows


In the sky


In the sky




With the seeds,


From your eyes


From your eyes


Dearest forgetful,


Here are my guilty hands,


Take them across your eyes,


So you can remember


This is not a dream,


Could it get any better?


We'll wait out the winter nights,


And laugh along with the better weather.'
 
 
-Twin Atlantic
 
 
I'll be talkin to ya xxx

Better Weather

This is a song by the Scottish band Twin Atlantic. There is something entirely lovely about the lyrics. I don;t quite understand what it is, as the song itself itn't all that fantastic. But i suppose the words just really connect with me. The imagery that they conjure is something special and for this the band deserve praise.

'Dearest forgetful,



Here are my guilty hands,


And you take them across your eyes,


They help you remember




This is not a dream,


Could it get any better?


We'll wait out the winter nights,


And laugh along with the better weather.




And we'll forever be in disguise


We're pushing back in the shadows


To help us realize


And we'll forever be in disguise


We're pushing back in the shadows


To help us realize




My science is the answer


You both can play a part in my game.


On chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos rain


On chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos rain




I've been making meadows


I've been making meadows


In the sky


In the sky




With the seeds,


From your eyes


From your eyes


Dearest forgetful,


Here are my guilty hands,


Take them across your eyes,


So you can remember


This is not a dream,


Could it get any better?


We'll wait out the winter nights,


And laugh along with the better weather.'
 
 
-Twin Atlantic
 
 
I'll be talkin to ya xxx

Eternal Sunshine

'How happy is the blameless vestal's lot !
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind !
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd...'

- Alexander Pope

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

Eternal Sunshine

'How happy is the blameless vestal's lot !
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind !
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd...'

- Alexander Pope

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

Let Loose

I need to vent, gotta write what's going on in my head down. This is going to be a rambling mess of course, but that's sorta how i'm feeling at this moment in time. I am fucked, and it seesms so is everything around me. I don't know what is going on anymore !

The options i'd presumed i had are maybe not so much options but possibilities and slim one's at that. Not good ! I'm soo fucking confused abbout were to turn y'know. I can't just line people up and get the truth from them but wouldn't it be much simpler and nicer to have that option, albeit rather boring. But this isn't as fun as it used to be, that's probably as i'm in a sorta lull at this moment which i don't want to be in but is inevitable, and due to all that shit i'm lost the enthusiasm for a challenge, for a chase. I just want it, and i don't even know what that is it. Not anymore, i just hope i do when it appears. The priority is still a priority, but i can't see it. It's all good ad friendly, but i'm not feeling that bubbling away, the edge, the kind of chemistrey and anticipation that normally is required in these circumstances. However last time i didn't feel that it led to 8 months of that. So what do i know ! But it needs to be conbustable. And i don't think this is. Not yet anyway, times not gonna finish though, so my eyes and ears are firmly open. Who else ? There is others. One is practically a stranger but, so no idea what the story there is, apart from that despite giving less than a shit about it, everytime i'm around hers truelly, and usually after a drink, i become soo engrossed in her it's crazy. But this one ain't so dumb, i don't think. It's all very carefully set-up. We are dealing with a game player in this one, i'd need to work for this, and maybe i don't wanna. Not yet. But fuck me i think it'd be worth the extra legwork. Not content to end there, higher forces keep throwing other folks into my sphere of existance. One could be an option but i won't allow it. Not now. It would be the least of an issue, the simplest and most accesible. But i couldn't go through with it. I'm just not that way inclined. My guilt factor goes through the roof when any contact is made, but that's just not a possibility in the end. Maybe a case of caring too much and fucking it all up. So what else, i refuse to go back. OR atleast don't volunteer to. SO that means no to her.. and even her. Both would be awesome and apt. But no. Just no. Shit, i can't believe i'm saying that. Too be honest, given the chance i'd fall back into it all. But that would be too stupid. I think ? So what am i looking at ? Seems bleak don't it ! And i hate that, it's all abotu closing down a gap. A group dynamic that just needs slightly shifted, but it's tricky. I am on radars, i'm sure, but it just hard to hit the target. Especially when i don't know what the target is, or how hard i want to hit.

This is all too complicated, so i need to lift up slightly and maybe just lay lowon this side of things for a wee while, instead of thrusting myself head first into crazytown. I could sit back and let things slowly build or whatever. But the sad and dumb truth is that i love crazytown. I'm far too comfortable in the chaos that ensues. I hate being bored, and i suppose i've had a boring lat month, until now. Proving that you just gotta introduce a little anarchy. But i am getting a little tired of it. I genuinaly have lift in a haze of chaos for about two years now, at some point i have to confront and answer the most difficult and simpele question i could be asked......

Why ?

Why ?

Why ?


Go fuck yourselfs.

I'll Be Talking To Ya xxx

Let Loose

I need to vent, gotta write what's going on in my head down. This is going to be a rambling mess of course, but that's sorta how i'm feeling at this moment in time. I am fucked, and it seesms so is everything around me. I don't know what is going on anymore !

The options i'd presumed i had are maybe not so much options but possibilities and slim one's at that. Not good ! I'm soo fucking confused abbout were to turn y'know. I can't just line people up and get the truth from them but wouldn't it be much simpler and nicer to have that option, albeit rather boring. But this isn't as fun as it used to be, that's probably as i'm in a sorta lull at this moment which i don't want to be in but is inevitable, and due to all that shit i'm lost the enthusiasm for a challenge, for a chase. I just want it, and i don't even know what that is it. Not anymore, i just hope i do when it appears. The priority is still a priority, but i can't see it. It's all good ad friendly, but i'm not feeling that bubbling away, the edge, the kind of chemistrey and anticipation that normally is required in these circumstances. However last time i didn't feel that it led to 8 months of that. So what do i know ! But it needs to be conbustable. And i don't think this is. Not yet anyway, times not gonna finish though, so my eyes and ears are firmly open. Who else ? There is others. One is practically a stranger but, so no idea what the story there is, apart from that despite giving less than a shit about it, everytime i'm around hers truelly, and usually after a drink, i become soo engrossed in her it's crazy. But this one ain't so dumb, i don't think. It's all very carefully set-up. We are dealing with a game player in this one, i'd need to work for this, and maybe i don't wanna. Not yet. But fuck me i think it'd be worth the extra legwork. Not content to end there, higher forces keep throwing other folks into my sphere of existance. One could be an option but i won't allow it. Not now. It would be the least of an issue, the simplest and most accesible. But i couldn't go through with it. I'm just not that way inclined. My guilt factor goes through the roof when any contact is made, but that's just not a possibility in the end. Maybe a case of caring too much and fucking it all up. So what else, i refuse to go back. OR atleast don't volunteer to. SO that means no to her.. and even her. Both would be awesome and apt. But no. Just no. Shit, i can't believe i'm saying that. Too be honest, given the chance i'd fall back into it all. But that would be too stupid. I think ? So what am i looking at ? Seems bleak don't it ! And i hate that, it's all abotu closing down a gap. A group dynamic that just needs slightly shifted, but it's tricky. I am on radars, i'm sure, but it just hard to hit the target. Especially when i don't know what the target is, or how hard i want to hit.

This is all too complicated, so i need to lift up slightly and maybe just lay lowon this side of things for a wee while, instead of thrusting myself head first into crazytown. I could sit back and let things slowly build or whatever. But the sad and dumb truth is that i love crazytown. I'm far too comfortable in the chaos that ensues. I hate being bored, and i suppose i've had a boring lat month, until now. Proving that you just gotta introduce a little anarchy. But i am getting a little tired of it. I genuinaly have lift in a haze of chaos for about two years now, at some point i have to confront and answer the most difficult and simpele question i could be asked......

Why ?

Why ?

Why ?


Go fuck yourselfs.

I'll Be Talking To Ya xxx

The Last.....

'Reverse time.

This is my last wish, my last kiss, my last chance, my last dance....

To spend the rest of my life with You, tonight.'

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx

The Last.....

'Reverse time.

This is my last wish, my last kiss, my last chance, my last dance....

To spend the rest of my life with You, tonight.'

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx

False Faces

What is becoming increasingly clear to me of late is that i'm allowing the worse sides of my personality to be in control more often. What i mean is that i like to think that deep down i am a pretty good guy, i'm friendly, polite, charming and normally have my heart in the right place. However, i also have a much meaner side, i suppose a counter me. That side is angry, bitchy, selfish, manipulative and self destructve. Up until now i only engaged that sie of me when it was needed, or sometimes when i was faced with certain situations. But now i'm realising that i' acting like that most of the time. The lines are blurring so to speak. And i'm not entirely sure what one is me anyway, and that's kinda scary.

It's usually in social scenarios that the worst in me is coming out. I'm becoming more erratic and unpredictable amongst others with regards to what i'll say and do. Even people that i like would have every right to turn and hit after some comments that i've made to them. I don't get why they havn't to be honest. I'd hit me ! I want to be nice y'know, but every time a thought comes into my head i just blurt it out, like i've not got that filter that's meant to stop me saying things that'll lead me into trouble. My actions too, the way i conduct myself is getting less and less usual all the time. I can be like differant people all in the space of one conversation. Like all will be going fine and well, then suddenly i'll just have a moment of madness (or stupidity) and talk some bollocks and piss someone off. It's gotta stuff ! Seriously.

I don't know what it is. It could maybe be a sorta defence mechanism. That's the only thing i can think of me. I'm just staying on the offense, so that i don't ever have to get defensive. If i focus on everyone else, maybe nobody will think to look at me and ask questions. Although that might be exactly what i need, i don't want to do it. Basicly what i'm saying (i think) is that i'm shit scarred of letting ppeople in again, and in order to close myself emotionally, and not have to deal with that kinda shit, i'm just using other peoples thoughts and emotions. The more i focus on them, the less time will be spent opening up my horrible box of secrets and weirdness. At this point in time i'm actually having fun, thoughless, enjoyable fun. But at the same time i am in the most fucked up head space i've had for years. There is a lot going on up there that i'm refusing to deal with. Too hard, instead i'm just throwing all of my crap into being the witty, funny, cheeky, kinda cute guy in a big group of people. I'm being a bit of a mutha fucker but maybe purely for my own best interests. For now anyway. I suppose this is going to end up being a waiting game, It's pretty exciting actually. Hmmmm.... Plenty to think about, but it can wait. I'm not up to that challenge just yet.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

False Faces

What is becoming increasingly clear to me of late is that i'm allowing the worse sides of my personality to be in control more often. What i mean is that i like to think that deep down i am a pretty good guy, i'm friendly, polite, charming and normally have my heart in the right place. However, i also have a much meaner side, i suppose a counter me. That side is angry, bitchy, selfish, manipulative and self destructve. Up until now i only engaged that sie of me when it was needed, or sometimes when i was faced with certain situations. But now i'm realising that i' acting like that most of the time. The lines are blurring so to speak. And i'm not entirely sure what one is me anyway, and that's kinda scary.

It's usually in social scenarios that the worst in me is coming out. I'm becoming more erratic and unpredictable amongst others with regards to what i'll say and do. Even people that i like would have every right to turn and hit after some comments that i've made to them. I don't get why they havn't to be honest. I'd hit me ! I want to be nice y'know, but every time a thought comes into my head i just blurt it out, like i've not got that filter that's meant to stop me saying things that'll lead me into trouble. My actions too, the way i conduct myself is getting less and less usual all the time. I can be like differant people all in the space of one conversation. Like all will be going fine and well, then suddenly i'll just have a moment of madness (or stupidity) and talk some bollocks and piss someone off. It's gotta stuff ! Seriously.

I don't know what it is. It could maybe be a sorta defence mechanism. That's the only thing i can think of me. I'm just staying on the offense, so that i don't ever have to get defensive. If i focus on everyone else, maybe nobody will think to look at me and ask questions. Although that might be exactly what i need, i don't want to do it. Basicly what i'm saying (i think) is that i'm shit scarred of letting ppeople in again, and in order to close myself emotionally, and not have to deal with that kinda shit, i'm just using other peoples thoughts and emotions. The more i focus on them, the less time will be spent opening up my horrible box of secrets and weirdness. At this point in time i'm actually having fun, thoughless, enjoyable fun. But at the same time i am in the most fucked up head space i've had for years. There is a lot going on up there that i'm refusing to deal with. Too hard, instead i'm just throwing all of my crap into being the witty, funny, cheeky, kinda cute guy in a big group of people. I'm being a bit of a mutha fucker but maybe purely for my own best interests. For now anyway. I suppose this is going to end up being a waiting game, It's pretty exciting actually. Hmmmm.... Plenty to think about, but it can wait. I'm not up to that challenge just yet.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

End Of The World As You Know It

I'm fascinated by the manner in which everything can change in your life and you almost don't realise. What i'm meaning is that over a period of time, small things come up and become big things, your priorities start to differ and eve nthe genral routine of your life becomes completely differant. And because the process is spread out over a distance of time, you just don't realise until it's all changed.

This thought just sorta came to me last night. I was lying in bed, not sleeping, and i began to realise that if you took me this time last year, and compared that with myself now, there is very little similarity with regards to the thoughts and priorities in ones head. Like it's all new faces. Most of the old has just been let go. I'm ruthless like that, i'll drop people on a whim. But not just that. These new people, who i didn't even know existed last year, are my life now. These people are the ones who i spent time with. Who i live with, learn with, drink with, fuck with. And it is weird to think that i has no idea of any of them only a year ago ! Of course thre's the inner circle. The few and trusted who have been in my life forever. And they'll never dissapear, but the've been joined by soo many other folk.

Also, i think it would be fair to say that i've changed pretty drasticly too. I've really noticed that i've began to open up a little more. I'm waayyy less scared of allowing people in. I've began to trust people more then i did before, and i'm enjoying it. Doing this is actually allowing me to become closer with the people who i call friends. The reason behind this i think, is maybe the fact that, unlike before i now have a group of friends (who i met mostly through uni) that instead of just accepting as they are hanging about in the same areas as me, i actually am proper friends with ! I really like these people, and that feels really, really good.

Another huge change is just location. Now i hang out and peoples own flat's. Belonging to them. As opposed to going to peoples parent's houses, or student flat's like i wa this time last year and beforee that. Even though i still live at home, it makes me feel more independant. Like i'm seeing what it takes to live outwith your families protection, and i'm totally confidnet that i could sustain myself in that manner, and probably enjoy it aswel. Having spent the majority of my time in the last few months staying away from home anyway i'm used to it all, and frankly it just seems normal. As does going out without having to plan for being underage and things like that. I can now enjoy being out without the uncertainty of maybe getting chucked out of someplace, or not even getting in ! It's whole new freedom and one that just makes life a whole lot fucking easier. Having a group of older friends of course, led to me being out all the time, and getting used to that enviroment, but i was still having to use my mates I.D and although it worked one hundred percent of the time (Thank's Dave) IIt's just cool to have my own now.

All in all, at this point, i finally feel grown up ! I am confident in myself, and assured in what i'm doing. I have awesome friends in all avenues of my life, and an entire new year to look forward to at university. I actually cannot fucking wait ! I'm on the cusp of passing my driving test (finally) and that'll just add to it all. Even though i completely loathe driving cars ! Haha.

So i suppose all that's left to say, is that the world i was existing in 365 days ago, is all in the past. So here's to the future. I firmly believe that something fantastic is about to happen, i'm just about to fall into the best damm time of my life. It's the end of the world as i know it... And i feel fine.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

End Of The World As You Know It

I'm fascinated by the manner in which everything can change in your life and you almost don't realise. What i'm meaning is that over a period of time, small things come up and become big things, your priorities start to differ and eve nthe genral routine of your life becomes completely differant. And because the process is spread out over a distance of time, you just don't realise until it's all changed.

This thought just sorta came to me last night. I was lying in bed, not sleeping, and i began to realise that if you took me this time last year, and compared that with myself now, there is very little similarity with regards to the thoughts and priorities in ones head. Like it's all new faces. Most of the old has just been let go. I'm ruthless like that, i'll drop people on a whim. But not just that. These new people, who i didn't even know existed last year, are my life now. These people are the ones who i spent time with. Who i live with, learn with, drink with, fuck with. And it is weird to think that i has no idea of any of them only a year ago ! Of course thre's the inner circle. The few and trusted who have been in my life forever. And they'll never dissapear, but the've been joined by soo many other folk.

Also, i think it would be fair to say that i've changed pretty drasticly too. I've really noticed that i've began to open up a little more. I'm waayyy less scared of allowing people in. I've began to trust people more then i did before, and i'm enjoying it. Doing this is actually allowing me to become closer with the people who i call friends. The reason behind this i think, is maybe the fact that, unlike before i now have a group of friends (who i met mostly through uni) that instead of just accepting as they are hanging about in the same areas as me, i actually am proper friends with ! I really like these people, and that feels really, really good.

Another huge change is just location. Now i hang out and peoples own flat's. Belonging to them. As opposed to going to peoples parent's houses, or student flat's like i wa this time last year and beforee that. Even though i still live at home, it makes me feel more independant. Like i'm seeing what it takes to live outwith your families protection, and i'm totally confidnet that i could sustain myself in that manner, and probably enjoy it aswel. Having spent the majority of my time in the last few months staying away from home anyway i'm used to it all, and frankly it just seems normal. As does going out without having to plan for being underage and things like that. I can now enjoy being out without the uncertainty of maybe getting chucked out of someplace, or not even getting in ! It's whole new freedom and one that just makes life a whole lot fucking easier. Having a group of older friends of course, led to me being out all the time, and getting used to that enviroment, but i was still having to use my mates I.D and although it worked one hundred percent of the time (Thank's Dave) IIt's just cool to have my own now.

All in all, at this point, i finally feel grown up ! I am confident in myself, and assured in what i'm doing. I have awesome friends in all avenues of my life, and an entire new year to look forward to at university. I actually cannot fucking wait ! I'm on the cusp of passing my driving test (finally) and that'll just add to it all. Even though i completely loathe driving cars ! Haha.

So i suppose all that's left to say, is that the world i was existing in 365 days ago, is all in the past. So here's to the future. I firmly believe that something fantastic is about to happen, i'm just about to fall into the best damm time of my life. It's the end of the world as i know it... And i feel fine.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx