More Then Life

The importance of it all just hit me !

Literaly, like 10 seconds ago... The whole gravity of this situation dawned on me !

This whole thing is a build up of a long time hoping and dreaming, and whilst it's all came around sooner then i expected and far more organicly, it's still the chance i have been waiting for.

Truth is this is the only thing i want, i'm not asking for anything else, this is the single most important thing in my life, more important then that even ! I really do need it. The thought of it all has been pushing me along for so long, and keeping me positive, it's been a reason for living, without a doubt.

Even if it doesn't go to plan, i'll have other chances.. Sure, but i just need to have this pay off executed ! The excitement of it all is just amazing, i havn't felt this way in so long, on the edge again, with nothing to keep me steady but a single voice ! This is just how i like it.

Fuck stability !

I'll be talkin to ya xxx

More Then Life

The importance of it all just hit me !

Literaly, like 10 seconds ago... The whole gravity of this situation dawned on me !

This whole thing is a build up of a long time hoping and dreaming, and whilst it's all came around sooner then i expected and far more organicly, it's still the chance i have been waiting for.

Truth is this is the only thing i want, i'm not asking for anything else, this is the single most important thing in my life, more important then that even ! I really do need it. The thought of it all has been pushing me along for so long, and keeping me positive, it's been a reason for living, without a doubt.

Even if it doesn't go to plan, i'll have other chances.. Sure, but i just need to have this pay off executed ! The excitement of it all is just amazing, i havn't felt this way in so long, on the edge again, with nothing to keep me steady but a single voice ! This is just how i like it.

Fuck stability !

I'll be talkin to ya xxx

Five Hour Phone Conversations

Sometimes, a similar situation arrises, but with a slight differance. The general atmosphere and feeling about the entire thing is changed. The last two weeks i have been feeling that. Just a change in the wind so to speech, an idea, an inkling that maybe, just maybe, this time things might be for real.

Of course, nothing is confirmed or even talked over, but i just know that a understanding was reached. What was said, was so close to being an open statement that the feeling and message is there. Just waiting to be acted upon. 10 months ...... The cash incentive makes that possible.

The chat tonight, started off as just another innocent phone call, but like fridays effort, it quickly spiralled into something more. It's exciting and really makes me realise just why this is all so important to me in the first place.

I made up a fairy tale ! I was asked to talk about a Prince and a Princess. The subtle indication wasn't lost on me. I could see the path i was being carted down, i didn't fully give into the notion, i left it just open ended enough to play to my strengths.

The encounter has put a smile on my face, the uncertainty is less prevailing, cause deep down i know it's meant to be. I Can't confirm or define soul mates, but i think i can see the appeal, and know how it must feel .

-' I'm going to the top, i'm gonna be somebody.'

-' I know you are. And im going to hold your hand all the way up there, and i promise i won't let it go.. Ever'

-' I want you up there. I want you there always.'

Good night dreamers and romantics. We'll see when we get there.

I'll be talkin to ya xx

Five Hour Phone Conversations

Sometimes, a similar situation arrises, but with a slight differance. The general atmosphere and feeling about the entire thing is changed. The last two weeks i have been feeling that. Just a change in the wind so to speech, an idea, an inkling that maybe, just maybe, this time things might be for real.

Of course, nothing is confirmed or even talked over, but i just know that a understanding was reached. What was said, was so close to being an open statement that the feeling and message is there. Just waiting to be acted upon. 10 months ...... The cash incentive makes that possible.

The chat tonight, started off as just another innocent phone call, but like fridays effort, it quickly spiralled into something more. It's exciting and really makes me realise just why this is all so important to me in the first place.

I made up a fairy tale ! I was asked to talk about a Prince and a Princess. The subtle indication wasn't lost on me. I could see the path i was being carted down, i didn't fully give into the notion, i left it just open ended enough to play to my strengths.

The encounter has put a smile on my face, the uncertainty is less prevailing, cause deep down i know it's meant to be. I Can't confirm or define soul mates, but i think i can see the appeal, and know how it must feel .

-' I'm going to the top, i'm gonna be somebody.'

-' I know you are. And im going to hold your hand all the way up there, and i promise i won't let it go.. Ever'

-' I want you up there. I want you there always.'

Good night dreamers and romantics. We'll see when we get there.

I'll be talkin to ya xx

Brrrrrr.......

Brrrr.......

She was cold you see ! The warmest day here in ages and she was cold ! She said Brrrr....

How Cute. Very....

Was a perfectly well spent 4 hours. Seen alot and had a nice lunch. Perfect company too.

Welcome home M'dear :) I'm Still noticing. Won't stop noticing.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Brrrrrr.......

Brrrr.......

She was cold you see ! The warmest day here in ages and she was cold ! She said Brrrr....

How Cute. Very....

Was a perfectly well spent 4 hours. Seen alot and had a nice lunch. Perfect company too.

Welcome home M'dear :) I'm Still noticing. Won't stop noticing.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Like The Deserts Miss The Rain

It's been a very long summer for me. I've really Been 'on vacation' since mid-May. Which means that when I'm starting uni (September 7th) I'll have been doing my own thing for the best part of four months ! Mad eh ! But it has given me more time to think then i'd usually have, and with that a chance to really sort out my priorities.

What has dawned on me is that theirs one person who means as much to me as anyone, despite maybe not deserving such affection. It shouldn't have came as a surprise ! It's probably obvious to everyone but I do try and pretend that I can do without.... Truth is I can't, not at all.

I last saw her late June (26th) and since then she has went home for the summer. Last year it wasn't too difficult as we managed to meet up and afterwards talk almost everyday, sometimes fir more then ten hours at a time, sounds boring and pathetic, but it was something special , to be able to talk so much with a person with no breaks for such a long time. That kinda thing really confirms a strong bond.

This years been completely differant though. A few small chats here and there, but nothing major. We don't have the same relationship we had last year, or atleast we tell ourselves that, and therefore we aren't waiting patiently to speech to each other. She has new people and I do too I suppose. But nothing anywere near what their was between us. And I'd bet that works both ways ! It'll take a he'll of a lot to be in the same league as that, probably the most affection a person can feel for another, first love ? Maybe. Real love ? Definatly.

But for the first time, I'm going to admit the obvious. Despite acting as if it's not the case ! I'll just put it out there, despite it being really hard to admit.

I fucking miss her. Like so much that when I'm on my own I actually feel ill. It annoys me, that I can't get out of my system. I probably never will ! Every girl I've met since then is a substitute and fuck all more. I look for peices of her in any girl that has the bad luck of crossing my path. I don't feel the same way with any of the though. And so I pretty much just limit myself to one night only things. If I can't find anybody who in some way reminds me of you, I just pick the most damaged, crazy, screwed up person I can find, and that can't end up good for either side.

Basicly you were perfect, what I'd spend forever looking for and what I've lost and will maybe never find again ! I just miss you so much and I love you to peices, despite what happened. Their will always be something between us, it's just a question of whether we are. Willing to go through it all again.

I know you might be Reading, if so I'm sorry, but you know it anyways, and you know it's true. At some point we're both going to have to stop running, especially now that we're running in the same direction. It's just a question of when !

'I've seen your act, but I know the facts, I'm still in love with you, I wish you were hear'

I'll be talkin to yaa XxX

Like The Deserts Miss The Rain

It's been a very long summer for me. I've really Been 'on vacation' since mid-May. Which means that when I'm starting uni (September 7th) I'll have been doing my own thing for the best part of four months ! Mad eh ! But it has given me more time to think then i'd usually have, and with that a chance to really sort out my priorities.

What has dawned on me is that theirs one person who means as much to me as anyone, despite maybe not deserving such affection. It shouldn't have came as a surprise ! It's probably obvious to everyone but I do try and pretend that I can do without.... Truth is I can't, not at all.

I last saw her late June (26th) and since then she has went home for the summer. Last year it wasn't too difficult as we managed to meet up and afterwards talk almost everyday, sometimes fir more then ten hours at a time, sounds boring and pathetic, but it was something special , to be able to talk so much with a person with no breaks for such a long time. That kinda thing really confirms a strong bond.

This years been completely differant though. A few small chats here and there, but nothing major. We don't have the same relationship we had last year, or atleast we tell ourselves that, and therefore we aren't waiting patiently to speech to each other. She has new people and I do too I suppose. But nothing anywere near what their was between us. And I'd bet that works both ways ! It'll take a he'll of a lot to be in the same league as that, probably the most affection a person can feel for another, first love ? Maybe. Real love ? Definatly.

But for the first time, I'm going to admit the obvious. Despite acting as if it's not the case ! I'll just put it out there, despite it being really hard to admit.

I fucking miss her. Like so much that when I'm on my own I actually feel ill. It annoys me, that I can't get out of my system. I probably never will ! Every girl I've met since then is a substitute and fuck all more. I look for peices of her in any girl that has the bad luck of crossing my path. I don't feel the same way with any of the though. And so I pretty much just limit myself to one night only things. If I can't find anybody who in some way reminds me of you, I just pick the most damaged, crazy, screwed up person I can find, and that can't end up good for either side.

Basicly you were perfect, what I'd spend forever looking for and what I've lost and will maybe never find again ! I just miss you so much and I love you to peices, despite what happened. Their will always be something between us, it's just a question of whether we are. Willing to go through it all again.

I know you might be Reading, if so I'm sorry, but you know it anyways, and you know it's true. At some point we're both going to have to stop running, especially now that we're running in the same direction. It's just a question of when !

'I've seen your act, but I know the facts, I'm still in love with you, I wish you were hear'

I'll be talkin to yaa XxX

22.07.

This date last year could possibly be the best day of my life..... I just didn't realise it at the time.

Castles, Chris Rock, Texts, Webams, The Dark Knight, Geeks, Blue shoes, Lifehouse, Bracelets, Chillis, Kisses, Knees, Hard Rock Cafe, Princess Street Gardens, Anne Hathaway, Abercrombie, Disney, Don Henley, White Calvin Klein tops, Sex and the City, Fast Cars, Drops Of Jupiter, Phone Bills, Ray Bans, Pirates, Perth, Castles, Lakesides, Trampolines, Cowards, Turtles, Sudamerica, Trains, Skype, Marriot, The Breakfast Club, Pink, Daughtry, There You'll Be, Chris Brown, Stars, Airports, Blueberries, Self Help Books, TGI Fridays, Long Walks, Charlie Bartlett, Moon Sparkle Perfume,American Physco, Adidas Victory League Deodorant, Spanish, Emails, Baba O Reily, Letters, Stand By Me, Art Galleries, Costa, 26 Bus, Journey.

Just A Few things.......

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

22.07.

This date last year could possibly be the best day of my life..... I just didn't realise it at the time.

Castles, Chris Rock, Texts, Webams, The Dark Knight, Geeks, Blue shoes, Lifehouse, Bracelets, Chillis, Kisses, Knees, Hard Rock Cafe, Princess Street Gardens, Anne Hathaway, Abercrombie, Disney, Don Henley, White Calvin Klein tops, Sex and the City, Fast Cars, Drops Of Jupiter, Phone Bills, Ray Bans, Pirates, Perth, Castles, Lakesides, Trampolines, Cowards, Turtles, Sudamerica, Trains, Skype, Marriot, The Breakfast Club, Pink, Daughtry, There You'll Be, Chris Brown, Stars, Airports, Blueberries, Self Help Books, TGI Fridays, Long Walks, Charlie Bartlett, Moon Sparkle Perfume,American Physco, Adidas Victory League Deodorant, Spanish, Emails, Baba O Reily, Letters, Stand By Me, Art Galleries, Costa, 26 Bus, Journey.

Just A Few things.......

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

Capture It

Have you ever experienced something that to you felt soo perfect that nothing in the world would be able to ruin ot for you ? That put you right at the top of the world, with nothing but sheer excitement driving you on.I'm sure everybody feels that way at some stage.

If you don't i'm sorry, you truely are missing out. Thing is though, nothing can last forever, and at some stage all good things will end. The trick is though, too never let yourself forget, try and remind yourself of how those moments made you feel, and what actually made them so special.

This picture is one of those rare examples of a photo that was completely spontanious and unplanned, yet managed to capture soo much of everything that was being felt at the time. It's beautiful and something that can be looked back on, reminding me of a better time. Funny to think that it was less then a year ago. It feels like i was a differant person entirely. Maybe i am ?

The picture captures the moment perfectly, the sheer, raw affection and power that a person can feel, It is really beautiful. Just a portrait of the simplicity and complexity that comes with the feeling of love.

My advice to anybody is no matter what happens, never forget those moments, people can enter and leave your life, and it hurts when they do. But the worst part, the real pain comes from forgetting. Never forget !
Please, don't let it fade !

I don't want to forget....I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Capture It

Have you ever experienced something that to you felt soo perfect that nothing in the world would be able to ruin ot for you ? That put you right at the top of the world, with nothing but sheer excitement driving you on.I'm sure everybody feels that way at some stage.

If you don't i'm sorry, you truely are missing out. Thing is though, nothing can last forever, and at some stage all good things will end. The trick is though, too never let yourself forget, try and remind yourself of how those moments made you feel, and what actually made them so special.

This picture is one of those rare examples of a photo that was completely spontanious and unplanned, yet managed to capture soo much of everything that was being felt at the time. It's beautiful and something that can be looked back on, reminding me of a better time. Funny to think that it was less then a year ago. It feels like i was a differant person entirely. Maybe i am ?

The picture captures the moment perfectly, the sheer, raw affection and power that a person can feel, It is really beautiful. Just a portrait of the simplicity and complexity that comes with the feeling of love.

My advice to anybody is no matter what happens, never forget those moments, people can enter and leave your life, and it hurts when they do. But the worst part, the real pain comes from forgetting. Never forget !
Please, don't let it fade !

I don't want to forget....I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Part time lover, Full time friend

I don't really have anything pressing to write ! Just a burning desire to write something. Strange eh ? So i'll try and make some sense of my thoughts and get them down.

It's a weird situation to be in, when you are friends with somebody not because of a building of a friendship, but because of a break-down of a relationship. Like the friendship really does feel kinda false, almost as if i am only there, serving that role, in the hope that i can sweep up the shit and take home the prize when the chance comes. But whilst it does feel lik that sometimes, i also enjoy it. As people go, she's the best, just brilliant, and it's really great to still have her in my life, allbeit in a reduced role. I know though that if i need somebody to talk to, their always about and willing, vise versa aswel ! At least i hope anyway.

So what i'm tryin to say is really, that i'm just working on convincing myself that my intentions aren't bad, and i am being so nice and stuff, just because i want to and that maybe it;s cause i really can be a nice caring person, not just a scheming, manipulative little fuck.

She is hot though ! It's problematic ! haha

I'll be talkin to ya xx

Part time lover, Full time friend

I don't really have anything pressing to write ! Just a burning desire to write something. Strange eh ? So i'll try and make some sense of my thoughts and get them down.

It's a weird situation to be in, when you are friends with somebody not because of a building of a friendship, but because of a break-down of a relationship. Like the friendship really does feel kinda false, almost as if i am only there, serving that role, in the hope that i can sweep up the shit and take home the prize when the chance comes. But whilst it does feel lik that sometimes, i also enjoy it. As people go, she's the best, just brilliant, and it's really great to still have her in my life, allbeit in a reduced role. I know though that if i need somebody to talk to, their always about and willing, vise versa aswel ! At least i hope anyway.

So what i'm tryin to say is really, that i'm just working on convincing myself that my intentions aren't bad, and i am being so nice and stuff, just because i want to and that maybe it;s cause i really can be a nice caring person, not just a scheming, manipulative little fuck.

She is hot though ! It's problematic ! haha

I'll be talkin to ya xx

Everythings Changed... Except ?

What a change a year can bring. It's Sunday night, June 7th. I feel a twinge of sadness looking back on the fact that on the equivalent Sunday last year (2008) i was back home after a fantastic day, that topped a brilliant weekend. I can remember it right clearly aswel ! Friday night the Paris's were dowe, just the usual banter etc... Saturday morning i was at a funeral for a teacher, but it was a great occasion (despite obviously being quite sad) After said funeral me and wee half pint headed into the city to meet the love and her pal. Had a great day, then me with some people from school and then dad picked me up and took me home, were the paris's came down (again) for another good night. I had a nice book come through the post aswel ! About John Hughes and his films. Inspired me, i do say. Then it was topped of on a Sunday that was as random as it was fantastic. Headed up on a train with a Skywalker look-a-like to the highlands gateway (Begins with a P for the un-educated) and then went to some random lassies house for a bbq ! The mrs was there like, so i was known ! Anyway, what could have been a weird day, wasn't just due to the fact that right then i realised that i was in a situation that was more serious then i had thought, and the 2 and a bit hours spent on a trampoline were some of the best spent of my life !

Obviously all of that resulted in some of the best times of my life, with the remaining weeks until a certain departure being some of the happiest i'll ever have. The entire month of June to be honoust was something special. I had finished exams in late may so that whole period was stress free (mostly) and fantasticly rewarding and fun. I always had something new to look forward too and i was slowly , but surely feeling something i hadn't in a long time.

Contrast then to this year ! When despite now being cleared of the hassle of my shitty school forever, i'm unhappy. It's simple, the reasons why, i have nothing filling the gap that was filled last year, i'm hollow and a bit empty, like all of this build of has just been an anti-climax and that this is the way things will be from now on. An afterthought, not of any major importance. Not a nice thought sadly, and just a wee bit depressing. You would think that their would be something to do about it, but it really doesn't seem that way ! As far as i can see i've used up all my options in this case, and sadly nothing or nobody can compare. Bummer ! My best bet is just to plow on, things will pick up, or at least they should, i deserve them to, i always go out with good intentions, and i've been treated pretty fuckin horribly by life in that respect ( I'm not moaning, i'm very lucky in other ways) but still, it bothers me.

See, whilst last year as i was now going back to school, for a somewhat pointless last two weeks i wasn't bothered, it was an exciting time for me. School was a skive, i was sneakin out to meet people, sending soppy, cute texts and generaly just feeling young and excited ! The year previously as well i suppose. On a differant level, that was when i was first finding out who i was and what i wanted from life. And despite a somewhat shit event in June that last year, it really had a positive effect as i lost somebody i wanted, but realised that the friends around me were great and that i could have a great summer with them. True, it wouldn't rival the late May/early June that i had encountered, but still overall it was good. It wouldn't last, people change and as i did, i don't think i was ever accepted as much by those 'friends' especially coming toward the end of my 4th year.

But then it didn't matter, cause at that stage i had met 'her' and nothing could bother me, i felt indestructible. And last summer when the big plane left here, towards parts exotic, i was gutted, as i had fallen in love with some of it's cargo, but i knew that it would be ok. I was ready for a summer of talk, were the things could be learned, and brought towards a whole new level, making the glorious (august) re-union even more exciting, as two months worth of conversation, phonecalls, webcams and pictures and all the tension and nervous energy they created, would be released in what can only be described as one of the most powerful and destructive, yet wonderful, feelings i've ever had the good fortune and luck to enjoy. If only, it could remain so ! Ahh well.

So this year, what do i have to look forward too ? Well on Tuesday i have a weeks holiday in florida, Good times ! But after that i'm clean, nothing at all, apart from driving lessons etc... This year there is no she, nobody to talk to everynight until 8am. Nobody to love. Theirs not even somebody to focus on, to beat myself up over, like the year before that (2007), which whilst, being sad and annoying, is also quite a strong emotion. Knowing that you are capable of feeling such strenth for another. Although compared to the following year what i felt was nothing, just childish, confused yearnings, nothing more. But no, i really have got nothin to feel for, or nobody as it may be, i could have had, but i pretty much let that potentiol slide about a month ago ! Ahh well, no great loss on that front really, i can do much better !

So here's to the future ! Let's hope something unexpected can come along and cheer me up, change the direction of what's bound to be a mundane, excitement free summer ! Let's hope.But fuck it's not likely.

So everything changed.... Except.... For the way i feel about you.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

Everythings Changed... Except ?

What a change a year can bring. It's Sunday night, June 7th. I feel a twinge of sadness looking back on the fact that on the equivalent Sunday last year (2008) i was back home after a fantastic day, that topped a brilliant weekend. I can remember it right clearly aswel ! Friday night the Paris's were dowe, just the usual banter etc... Saturday morning i was at a funeral for a teacher, but it was a great occasion (despite obviously being quite sad) After said funeral me and wee half pint headed into the city to meet the love and her pal. Had a great day, then me with some people from school and then dad picked me up and took me home, were the paris's came down (again) for another good night. I had a nice book come through the post aswel ! About John Hughes and his films. Inspired me, i do say. Then it was topped of on a Sunday that was as random as it was fantastic. Headed up on a train with a Skywalker look-a-like to the highlands gateway (Begins with a P for the un-educated) and then went to some random lassies house for a bbq ! The mrs was there like, so i was known ! Anyway, what could have been a weird day, wasn't just due to the fact that right then i realised that i was in a situation that was more serious then i had thought, and the 2 and a bit hours spent on a trampoline were some of the best spent of my life !

Obviously all of that resulted in some of the best times of my life, with the remaining weeks until a certain departure being some of the happiest i'll ever have. The entire month of June to be honoust was something special. I had finished exams in late may so that whole period was stress free (mostly) and fantasticly rewarding and fun. I always had something new to look forward too and i was slowly , but surely feeling something i hadn't in a long time.

Contrast then to this year ! When despite now being cleared of the hassle of my shitty school forever, i'm unhappy. It's simple, the reasons why, i have nothing filling the gap that was filled last year, i'm hollow and a bit empty, like all of this build of has just been an anti-climax and that this is the way things will be from now on. An afterthought, not of any major importance. Not a nice thought sadly, and just a wee bit depressing. You would think that their would be something to do about it, but it really doesn't seem that way ! As far as i can see i've used up all my options in this case, and sadly nothing or nobody can compare. Bummer ! My best bet is just to plow on, things will pick up, or at least they should, i deserve them to, i always go out with good intentions, and i've been treated pretty fuckin horribly by life in that respect ( I'm not moaning, i'm very lucky in other ways) but still, it bothers me.

See, whilst last year as i was now going back to school, for a somewhat pointless last two weeks i wasn't bothered, it was an exciting time for me. School was a skive, i was sneakin out to meet people, sending soppy, cute texts and generaly just feeling young and excited ! The year previously as well i suppose. On a differant level, that was when i was first finding out who i was and what i wanted from life. And despite a somewhat shit event in June that last year, it really had a positive effect as i lost somebody i wanted, but realised that the friends around me were great and that i could have a great summer with them. True, it wouldn't rival the late May/early June that i had encountered, but still overall it was good. It wouldn't last, people change and as i did, i don't think i was ever accepted as much by those 'friends' especially coming toward the end of my 4th year.

But then it didn't matter, cause at that stage i had met 'her' and nothing could bother me, i felt indestructible. And last summer when the big plane left here, towards parts exotic, i was gutted, as i had fallen in love with some of it's cargo, but i knew that it would be ok. I was ready for a summer of talk, were the things could be learned, and brought towards a whole new level, making the glorious (august) re-union even more exciting, as two months worth of conversation, phonecalls, webcams and pictures and all the tension and nervous energy they created, would be released in what can only be described as one of the most powerful and destructive, yet wonderful, feelings i've ever had the good fortune and luck to enjoy. If only, it could remain so ! Ahh well.

So this year, what do i have to look forward too ? Well on Tuesday i have a weeks holiday in florida, Good times ! But after that i'm clean, nothing at all, apart from driving lessons etc... This year there is no she, nobody to talk to everynight until 8am. Nobody to love. Theirs not even somebody to focus on, to beat myself up over, like the year before that (2007), which whilst, being sad and annoying, is also quite a strong emotion. Knowing that you are capable of feeling such strenth for another. Although compared to the following year what i felt was nothing, just childish, confused yearnings, nothing more. But no, i really have got nothin to feel for, or nobody as it may be, i could have had, but i pretty much let that potentiol slide about a month ago ! Ahh well, no great loss on that front really, i can do much better !

So here's to the future ! Let's hope something unexpected can come along and cheer me up, change the direction of what's bound to be a mundane, excitement free summer ! Let's hope.But fuck it's not likely.

So everything changed.... Except.... For the way i feel about you.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

A Love Struck Romeo

I'm stupid, i know i am ! But, i feel that theirs no way 'round it. I honoustly do feel that i'll always love her. I seen her yesterday, and the two of us were so relaxed and comfertable together it actually felt like it was last year, i don't know why, but it was just like for whatever reason yesterday we both needed to feel together or somethin, we both have our reasons i suppose. I mean we even had our arms around each other at a point, it was surreal.

I'm not unhappy with the situation though, i know that it doesn't really mean anything like ! But it's sorta comforting to know that i can feel so strongly and that in her case i might aways. It's almost a powerful feeling, i know tht is a daft thing to say, but it's true ! I know that in this scenario, no matter what i'll always be there and more importantly i know that i would do anything to help, weird thing to be happy about eh ! Haha.

I just feel that short of being physically beaten over the head, with a very wet fish, nothing could make me feel any sort of resentment toward her. I don't know myself as well as i should, but.. this i'm sure of ! This is just gonna be a long runnnig thing. Like a feeling that i'll have forever, or until the space were it's currently living in, is replaced by something differant. Can't see that happening anytime soon though, i don't want it too. And even when it does happen, i know that i'll still feel strongly, for sure. No questions asked ! I'm glad of it.

The next few weeks should be interestin, a lot of things have been moving towards this point for a while now, and with the leave of prolonged absense looming, decisions are going to have to be made, it'll be made clear who realyl does give a fuck and who's just in it for selfish reasons. Fun, fun, fun ! It'll be somewhat mental though, must be said. Just aslong as nothing drastic happens, everybody should get out of it all well and good, and the hard work can start next season, so to speech.

Christ sake, this a new record for me even !! A scheme that is going to have a payoff in between 4-8 months ! haha. At least nobody can accuse me of being unprepared. Just mix it with the right degree of randomness and spontaniousity and i'm all set ! Oooh i do love playing games....

So all that's left to say is...

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

A Love Struck Romeo

I'm stupid, i know i am ! But, i feel that theirs no way 'round it. I honoustly do feel that i'll always love her. I seen her yesterday, and the two of us were so relaxed and comfertable together it actually felt like it was last year, i don't know why, but it was just like for whatever reason yesterday we both needed to feel together or somethin, we both have our reasons i suppose. I mean we even had our arms around each other at a point, it was surreal.

I'm not unhappy with the situation though, i know that it doesn't really mean anything like ! But it's sorta comforting to know that i can feel so strongly and that in her case i might aways. It's almost a powerful feeling, i know tht is a daft thing to say, but it's true ! I know that in this scenario, no matter what i'll always be there and more importantly i know that i would do anything to help, weird thing to be happy about eh ! Haha.

I just feel that short of being physically beaten over the head, with a very wet fish, nothing could make me feel any sort of resentment toward her. I don't know myself as well as i should, but.. this i'm sure of ! This is just gonna be a long runnnig thing. Like a feeling that i'll have forever, or until the space were it's currently living in, is replaced by something differant. Can't see that happening anytime soon though, i don't want it too. And even when it does happen, i know that i'll still feel strongly, for sure. No questions asked ! I'm glad of it.

The next few weeks should be interestin, a lot of things have been moving towards this point for a while now, and with the leave of prolonged absense looming, decisions are going to have to be made, it'll be made clear who realyl does give a fuck and who's just in it for selfish reasons. Fun, fun, fun ! It'll be somewhat mental though, must be said. Just aslong as nothing drastic happens, everybody should get out of it all well and good, and the hard work can start next season, so to speech.

Christ sake, this a new record for me even !! A scheme that is going to have a payoff in between 4-8 months ! haha. At least nobody can accuse me of being unprepared. Just mix it with the right degree of randomness and spontaniousity and i'm all set ! Oooh i do love playing games....

So all that's left to say is...

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

Live, Love, Laugh

Time passes,
People change,
Life is different than it was before,
But what can i do to deal with time ?

Live (Like every moment is your last)

Love (Like you've never had your heart broken)

Laugh (Like theirs not a care in the world)

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

Live, Love, Laugh

Time passes,
People change,
Life is different than it was before,
But what can i do to deal with time ?

Live (Like every moment is your last)

Love (Like you've never had your heart broken)

Laugh (Like theirs not a care in the world)

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx