Dearly Beloved....

To Whom it may concern. This is the last will and testement. The last draw of breath to be had here. For now and the forseeable future. This just isn't fun anymore. It's all too serious, all too real, and that doesn't make this good reading, or good writing. So for now, and untill such times as i see fit, this is a ghost town, a throwback.

I can only look back and say this, this time last year it felt like everything was way out infront of me, life was good and something special was in the air. How right i was ! Thing's swung from one moment of perfection to the best, and yeah it all eventually blew up but getting ther was fun ! Now it seems like all the best that was on offer is behind me, yeah i get that it sounds down-beat but it's true, so in turn this page has suffered, how many times can i sit and moan the shit out of everything untill it get's very, very boring ! Not any more is the answer. So it's time to take a step back and stop !

So what's to do ? I feel more Runkle than Moody these day's. Even Rick Srringfield doesn't have the answers. Mothaaa Fuckaaaa, the games a bogey. Time to pack up and get out i'd say ! Da, da,daa, da, da, dada, daa, dada. Or something like that ! Jesus, I piss myself off sometimes. I don;t want this to turn into some sorta long, rambling goodbye, but i can see it heading in that direction, i'll have to do some havy editing i think.

So atm, what's it all like. I feel (more or less) like i'm drifting in and out, sometimes i'm capable and smart, other times i'm just a horrendous fuck up ! I've been working really hard to secure a friend, somebody who deep down i think doesn't really like me, but at the same times is drawn in enough to spend time with me, and at the end of the day i want to be her friend, regardless of her issues. And i think i'm doing that well. Or, at least as well as i can be. I've got a busy time coming up as it goes, at the end of this week i'm heading up North for a few days, with seven of my mates for a weekend away. It's two of their birthdays so that'll be a good laugh. The way the numbers have worked out have thrown a certain spanner in the works however, so we'll see how that pans out. I'm actually quite interested yet apprehensive about all that ! I suppose i'll find out soonish anyway. Once i'm back from thre i've got a few trips to the doctors to see too, nothing startling, just some shit to deal with, and then my friend's dad's 50th birthday party which knowing my family and friends will be a fantastic night :)  So it's all systems go for that ! And then the following week i have three uni essays to hand in ! That'll be a struggle, but i always scrape through. So fingers crossed.

Ok, so that's that then, it was intended to be a lot longer, but i've cut it all down to a very small size, i couldn't be assed with the fancy shit ! At the end of the day it's clear what i'm saying. Untill i get everything back in order and on track, i'm leaving this behind. I'm pretty sure few of you will be upset, but it's kinda a big deal for me. IN case any of you missed it by the way, it was this pagges two year birthday earlier in the month. SO when would be a better time to send it on a hiatus. At the end of the day, we all know i'll be back on this and sputing forth my opinions and the like in no time at all, but hopefully when that happens it'll spell my return to the game with good news. Untill then everybody....


I''ll be talkin' to ya xxx

(And not for a long time.)

Dearly Beloved....

To Whom it may concern. This is the last will and testement. The last draw of breath to be had here. For now and the forseeable future. This just isn't fun anymore. It's all too serious, all too real, and that doesn't make this good reading, or good writing. So for now, and untill such times as i see fit, this is a ghost town, a throwback.

I can only look back and say this, this time last year it felt like everything was way out infront of me, life was good and something special was in the air. How right i was ! Thing's swung from one moment of perfection to the best, and yeah it all eventually blew up but getting ther was fun ! Now it seems like all the best that was on offer is behind me, yeah i get that it sounds down-beat but it's true, so in turn this page has suffered, how many times can i sit and moan the shit out of everything untill it get's very, very boring ! Not any more is the answer. So it's time to take a step back and stop !

So what's to do ? I feel more Runkle than Moody these day's. Even Rick Srringfield doesn't have the answers. Mothaaa Fuckaaaa, the games a bogey. Time to pack up and get out i'd say ! Da, da,daa, da, da, dada, daa, dada. Or something like that ! Jesus, I piss myself off sometimes. I don;t want this to turn into some sorta long, rambling goodbye, but i can see it heading in that direction, i'll have to do some havy editing i think.

So atm, what's it all like. I feel (more or less) like i'm drifting in and out, sometimes i'm capable and smart, other times i'm just a horrendous fuck up ! I've been working really hard to secure a friend, somebody who deep down i think doesn't really like me, but at the same times is drawn in enough to spend time with me, and at the end of the day i want to be her friend, regardless of her issues. And i think i'm doing that well. Or, at least as well as i can be. I've got a busy time coming up as it goes, at the end of this week i'm heading up North for a few days, with seven of my mates for a weekend away. It's two of their birthdays so that'll be a good laugh. The way the numbers have worked out have thrown a certain spanner in the works however, so we'll see how that pans out. I'm actually quite interested yet apprehensive about all that ! I suppose i'll find out soonish anyway. Once i'm back from thre i've got a few trips to the doctors to see too, nothing startling, just some shit to deal with, and then my friend's dad's 50th birthday party which knowing my family and friends will be a fantastic night :)  So it's all systems go for that ! And then the following week i have three uni essays to hand in ! That'll be a struggle, but i always scrape through. So fingers crossed.

Ok, so that's that then, it was intended to be a lot longer, but i've cut it all down to a very small size, i couldn't be assed with the fancy shit ! At the end of the day it's clear what i'm saying. Untill i get everything back in order and on track, i'm leaving this behind. I'm pretty sure few of you will be upset, but it's kinda a big deal for me. IN case any of you missed it by the way, it was this pagges two year birthday earlier in the month. SO when would be a better time to send it on a hiatus. At the end of the day, we all know i'll be back on this and sputing forth my opinions and the like in no time at all, but hopefully when that happens it'll spell my return to the game with good news. Untill then everybody....


I''ll be talkin' to ya xxx

(And not for a long time.)

Announcement

I'm gonna make a wee announcement in the next few days regarding this page. Just to let you know. Keep your eye's on it !

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

Announcement

I'm gonna make a wee announcement in the next few days regarding this page. Just to let you know. Keep your eye's on it !

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

Hey Soul Sister

Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you, and so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moon beam, the smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight
Hey, hey,hey

Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one-track mind like me
You gave my life direction, a game show love connection we can't deny
I'm so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna, and I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight

The way you can cut a rug, watching you's the only drug I need
You're so gangsta, I'm so thug, you're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see, I can be myself now finally, in fact there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you be with me

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do tonight,
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight
Hey, hey,hey

Tonight


From Train.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Hey Soul Sister

Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you, and so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moon beam, the smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight
Hey, hey,hey

Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one-track mind like me
You gave my life direction, a game show love connection we can't deny
I'm so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna, and I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight

The way you can cut a rug, watching you's the only drug I need
You're so gangsta, I'm so thug, you're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see, I can be myself now finally, in fact there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you be with me

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do tonight,
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight
Hey, hey,hey

Tonight


From Train.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

This Is It

The moment when the lights dim, and you know the Music is about to start.

The moment when you first make eye contact.

The moment when the referee blows his whistle and the game kicks off.

The moment when you close your eyes and kiss her for the first time.

The moment when the plane lands and you are finally on your holdiday.

The moment when you first touch her.

The moment when you walk into the party.

The moment when you both fall on the bed and finally feel each other.

The moment when you know that no matter what happens, your mates have your back.

The moment when she says yes.

The moment when you think you're in love.

The moment when you wake, and happiness is lying right beside you.


These are the moments life is meant for.

I'll Be Talkin' To Ya xxx

This Is It

The moment when the lights dim, and you know the Music is about to start.

The moment when you first make eye contact.

The moment when the referee blows his whistle and the game kicks off.

The moment when you close your eyes and kiss her for the first time.

The moment when the plane lands and you are finally on your holdiday.

The moment when you first touch her.

The moment when you walk into the party.

The moment when you both fall on the bed and finally feel each other.

The moment when you know that no matter what happens, your mates have your back.

The moment when she says yes.

The moment when you think you're in love.

The moment when you wake, and happiness is lying right beside you.


These are the moments life is meant for.

I'll Be Talkin' To Ya xxx

5 Words

That Is All

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx



5 Words

That Is All

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx



Fight For It !

'When she leaves you don't just let her walk away. You better run the fuck after her and pur your heart out on the pavement. Leave everything you've got on that street, under the stars. You gotta tell her all the reasons you love her, and you've got to mean every single fucking word of it ! You better kiss her like you've never kissed her before and hold her in your arms like you're protecting the world, because she is your whole damn world ! Fight for her, fight untill it kills you, and don't let her go, because once she walks away from you, she's not coming back. And there is nothing at all you can do. Trust me, i've been there, you will regret it. I promise !'

I'll Be Talking To Ya xxx

Fight For It !

'When she leaves you don't just let her walk away. You better run the fuck after her and pur your heart out on the pavement. Leave everything you've got on that street, under the stars. You gotta tell her all the reasons you love her, and you've got to mean every single fucking word of it ! You better kiss her like you've never kissed her before and hold her in your arms like you're protecting the world, because she is your whole damn world ! Fight for her, fight untill it kills you, and don't let her go, because once she walks away from you, she's not coming back. And there is nothing at all you can do. Trust me, i've been there, you will regret it. I promise !'

I'll Be Talking To Ya xxx

Tuesday Morning

A great song by a great band.

Tuesday Morning- The Pogues.

'Too many sad days
Too many Tuesday mornings
I thought of you today
I wished it was yesterday morning
I thought of you today
And I dreamt you were dressed in mourning


But I knew that you
With your heart beating
And your eyes shining
Would be dreaming of me
Lying with you
On a Tuesday morning


I fell through the window
And I found that I was still breathing
I thought of tomorrow
And the fear that you might leave me
I thought of tomorrow
And I wished it was Monday evening


But I knew that you
With your heart beating
And your eyes shining
Would be dreaming of me
Lying with you
On a Tuesday morning


Turn your face from me
I will cover myself with sorrow
Bring Hell down upon me
I will surrender my heart to sorrow
Bring Hell down upon me
And I will say goodbye tomorrow


'Cause I know that you
With your heart beating
And your eyes shining
Would be dreaming of me
Lying with you
On a Tuesday morning


Yeah, I know that you
With your heart beating
And your eyes shining
Would be dreaming of me
Lying with you
On a Tuesday morning'


I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Tuesday Morning

A great song by a great band.

Tuesday Morning- The Pogues.

'Too many sad days
Too many Tuesday mornings
I thought of you today
I wished it was yesterday morning
I thought of you today
And I dreamt you were dressed in mourning


But I knew that you
With your heart beating
And your eyes shining
Would be dreaming of me
Lying with you
On a Tuesday morning


I fell through the window
And I found that I was still breathing
I thought of tomorrow
And the fear that you might leave me
I thought of tomorrow
And I wished it was Monday evening


But I knew that you
With your heart beating
And your eyes shining
Would be dreaming of me
Lying with you
On a Tuesday morning


Turn your face from me
I will cover myself with sorrow
Bring Hell down upon me
I will surrender my heart to sorrow
Bring Hell down upon me
And I will say goodbye tomorrow


'Cause I know that you
With your heart beating
And your eyes shining
Would be dreaming of me
Lying with you
On a Tuesday morning


Yeah, I know that you
With your heart beating
And your eyes shining
Would be dreaming of me
Lying with you
On a Tuesday morning'


I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Those Little Messages...

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

Those Little Messages...

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx

Treading Water

Oooh, this bad, real fucking bad. I honestly feel (for the first time in a while) that I'm losing control. It's slipping away, falling through the cracks. And I don't even know what it is, just that it's not lasting, past the fucking sell by date.

Ever look up right, just stare at the night, and think that someplace, somebody else could be doing that exact same thing and that person could be the one. That one that will eventually swoop in a fix everything. Who knows, maybe there looking at the exact same star, sharing the same thoughts, the same fears. What is there to fear ? God damn everything. Bravado gets ya far, but it can't win the war, just the early battles. How important are these fucking things ? Does it even matter ?

I suppose I just miss the way-back-when.... When we was all just children, but we all thought that we knew everything ! And that we ran the fucking game. We were wrong, of course, but we still are, everyone still keeps fucking it up, the 'everyone' back then is differant to who is all there now, but it's the same old mistakes ! At least back then, we though we had it all figured out, right before we threw it all away ! Now we're throwing it away, but without working anything out first. Back then we had a real plan, things were laid out, they didn't just happen. And it was easy, it all made sense ! Now there isn't any sense, just abject chaos and destruction, and it's sad that it's how I feel most comfertable a large amount of the time, and I do well from it, but every so often I just need to feel something real, and I think maybe that time is now, again....

So, hopefully out there somewere, there is somebody sitting alone, just looking at the sky, sharing a star with somebody who just might be me, if that person is out there, or if that person is you, then hopefully I will see you soon :)

I'll Be Talking To Yaa xxx

Treading Water

Oooh, this bad, real fucking bad. I honestly feel (for the first time in a while) that I'm losing control. It's slipping away, falling through the cracks. And I don't even know what it is, just that it's not lasting, past the fucking sell by date.

Ever look up right, just stare at the night, and think that someplace, somebody else could be doing that exact same thing and that person could be the one. That one that will eventually swoop in a fix everything. Who knows, maybe there looking at the exact same star, sharing the same thoughts, the same fears. What is there to fear ? God damn everything. Bravado gets ya far, but it can't win the war, just the early battles. How important are these fucking things ? Does it even matter ?

I suppose I just miss the way-back-when.... When we was all just children, but we all thought that we knew everything ! And that we ran the fucking game. We were wrong, of course, but we still are, everyone still keeps fucking it up, the 'everyone' back then is differant to who is all there now, but it's the same old mistakes ! At least back then, we though we had it all figured out, right before we threw it all away ! Now we're throwing it away, but without working anything out first. Back then we had a real plan, things were laid out, they didn't just happen. And it was easy, it all made sense ! Now there isn't any sense, just abject chaos and destruction, and it's sad that it's how I feel most comfertable a large amount of the time, and I do well from it, but every so often I just need to feel something real, and I think maybe that time is now, again....

So, hopefully out there somewere, there is somebody sitting alone, just looking at the sky, sharing a star with somebody who just might be me, if that person is out there, or if that person is you, then hopefully I will see you soon :)

I'll Be Talking To Yaa xxx

Strange.

I have had one of the weirdest three week periods of my life recently. That is saying something !

I can't define it now, simply because there really isn't anything solid to examine. But what i do know is that something is slowly going away, it's like therapy almost. I might feel better once this is all tied up. As a lifestyle choice, the way i have been going on hasn't been working for me, sure in fits and starts, but overall i've been a miserable bastard ! There has been no salvation, no great change in direction. Justa flicker, that maybe it's not as bad as i thought.

Maybe i haven't lost it. Or possibly i've just found it again ? I can't even begin to imagine... But something is waiting in the shadows, sure of it. There's beauty in a car crash, and this is exactly what i am witnessing. One giant, wreck waiting to happen. Matter of time i'd say.

Let's tear it down, brick by fucking brick.... We'll see. Maybe not yet.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Strange.

I have had one of the weirdest three week periods of my life recently. That is saying something !

I can't define it now, simply because there really isn't anything solid to examine. But what i do know is that something is slowly going away, it's like therapy almost. I might feel better once this is all tied up. As a lifestyle choice, the way i have been going on hasn't been working for me, sure in fits and starts, but overall i've been a miserable bastard ! There has been no salvation, no great change in direction. Justa flicker, that maybe it's not as bad as i thought.

Maybe i haven't lost it. Or possibly i've just found it again ? I can't even begin to imagine... But something is waiting in the shadows, sure of it. There's beauty in a car crash, and this is exactly what i am witnessing. One giant, wreck waiting to happen. Matter of time i'd say.

Let's tear it down, brick by fucking brick.... We'll see. Maybe not yet.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

As The Wind Blows

I love walking in the dark, with the wind blowing around you. Ever notice how the trees always seem to be going at differant directions, depending on your perspective. Tonight they were blowing down, they looked sad, defeated. Sorta tragic really, considering that once upon a time they were standing proud, looking amazing and were untouchable, well.. kinda !

Expectation is the weakness here, when you expect you can be left disapointed, you'd have thought people would have learnt that over te last few thousand years, but no, we all keep doing it, curcumstances are never as cut and dried as they seem, or at least as we would like them to be.

I love that sound... Like the sound of wind blowing through bushes and leaves, rustling them above and beside you, whilst your feet hit the hard road, walking, alone and in silence, no cars or traffic to take you out your head, this is were the magic happens, things make sense, when you can only hear yourself in your head....It actually feels like i'm in a John Carpenter movie, i secretly wish to be greeted by a knife wielding, masked killer around a corner purely for some excited. I'd actuakky love to live a real life horror movies, ghost, something like that !

Do you ever just wish you were somebody else entirely ? Just morph into another human. It's strange. I look at myself, and i barely recognise it all. I'm not what or who i was previously, it's like i've been diluted, watered down. Sanatised even ! It's horrible. I find myself clinging to what i was like, forcing it, but it's not the same. Recently i've noticed signs of things returning to how they were, i've been improving, regaining my abilities, but it's a slow process, and i'm being stunted. Their really isn't anything to do. I cant cause trouble, when i have to create the situation in the first place. It's just so boring. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I might actually be mentally ill, i have never been able to accept a situation, it's always stringing events together by merely just existing, but invoking trouble, untill i get what i want, what i need. But what i really want doesnt exist anymore. Sure we might pass each by every so often, like boats in the night. And yeah we might have docked together for a while, but it was never going to be forever, i didn't want it to be, of course i still don't, but it is exactly what i need now. To save me from this shit ! This mundane, poison ridden, risk free, pathetic existance. That's harsh i know, but i generally feel sufficated sometimes. Not by people, just by everything in life, it's not fair. Were did it all go ? WERE THE FUCK IS IT ???

Help me....

Please....

I now want to sing karaoke ! Weird.

I need a mission statement, a proper plan, a good one. It's not that easy of course, but i know that all i need is one thing, one event, to set of a chain, a domino effect so to speak. It's bound to happen ! I've been good, i've bided my time, but now i'm needing mmy luck to change. It's almost like a tiger or something, being shaved and flung into a zoo, with no possible escape. I feel sorry for that poor bastard, atleast i've got a chance. But looking back on this blog of late, it's been moan, moan, moan ! Like a broken fucking records. It's time to be pro-active kids ! I just need to make shit stuff happen ! It's all do-able. It's been done before. I just need to stop feeling sorry for myself, feeling hard done by.

The past is set in stone, of course, it can't be changed. But the future is unwritten, that's my ace card, the fact that i'm working on a blank canvas. People still aren't keen to get to close to me, and i like that, they are still wary, despite my relative good behaviour and lack of drive recently. Folks know the potential is there, for me to fly of the side of the mountain and just fall all the fucking way down, laughing as i drop and pulling in anybody who is near down with me. Some of you are safe, but the rest of the world is fair game, be prepared. You've all been warned, back off now... Or enjoy the fall.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

As The Wind Blows

I love walking in the dark, with the wind blowing around you. Ever notice how the trees always seem to be going at differant directions, depending on your perspective. Tonight they were blowing down, they looked sad, defeated. Sorta tragic really, considering that once upon a time they were standing proud, looking amazing and were untouchable, well.. kinda !

Expectation is the weakness here, when you expect you can be left disapointed, you'd have thought people would have learnt that over te last few thousand years, but no, we all keep doing it, curcumstances are never as cut and dried as they seem, or at least as we would like them to be.

I love that sound... Like the sound of wind blowing through bushes and leaves, rustling them above and beside you, whilst your feet hit the hard road, walking, alone and in silence, no cars or traffic to take you out your head, this is were the magic happens, things make sense, when you can only hear yourself in your head....It actually feels like i'm in a John Carpenter movie, i secretly wish to be greeted by a knife wielding, masked killer around a corner purely for some excited. I'd actuakky love to live a real life horror movies, ghost, something like that !

Do you ever just wish you were somebody else entirely ? Just morph into another human. It's strange. I look at myself, and i barely recognise it all. I'm not what or who i was previously, it's like i've been diluted, watered down. Sanatised even ! It's horrible. I find myself clinging to what i was like, forcing it, but it's not the same. Recently i've noticed signs of things returning to how they were, i've been improving, regaining my abilities, but it's a slow process, and i'm being stunted. Their really isn't anything to do. I cant cause trouble, when i have to create the situation in the first place. It's just so boring. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I might actually be mentally ill, i have never been able to accept a situation, it's always stringing events together by merely just existing, but invoking trouble, untill i get what i want, what i need. But what i really want doesnt exist anymore. Sure we might pass each by every so often, like boats in the night. And yeah we might have docked together for a while, but it was never going to be forever, i didn't want it to be, of course i still don't, but it is exactly what i need now. To save me from this shit ! This mundane, poison ridden, risk free, pathetic existance. That's harsh i know, but i generally feel sufficated sometimes. Not by people, just by everything in life, it's not fair. Were did it all go ? WERE THE FUCK IS IT ???

Help me....

Please....

I now want to sing karaoke ! Weird.

I need a mission statement, a proper plan, a good one. It's not that easy of course, but i know that all i need is one thing, one event, to set of a chain, a domino effect so to speak. It's bound to happen ! I've been good, i've bided my time, but now i'm needing mmy luck to change. It's almost like a tiger or something, being shaved and flung into a zoo, with no possible escape. I feel sorry for that poor bastard, atleast i've got a chance. But looking back on this blog of late, it's been moan, moan, moan ! Like a broken fucking records. It's time to be pro-active kids ! I just need to make shit stuff happen ! It's all do-able. It's been done before. I just need to stop feeling sorry for myself, feeling hard done by.

The past is set in stone, of course, it can't be changed. But the future is unwritten, that's my ace card, the fact that i'm working on a blank canvas. People still aren't keen to get to close to me, and i like that, they are still wary, despite my relative good behaviour and lack of drive recently. Folks know the potential is there, for me to fly of the side of the mountain and just fall all the fucking way down, laughing as i drop and pulling in anybody who is near down with me. Some of you are safe, but the rest of the world is fair game, be prepared. You've all been warned, back off now... Or enjoy the fall.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

This Morning You Wake, A Sunray Hit's Your Face...

Some Lyrics From Eminem. Taken from the song 'Love The Way You Lie Part 2.'


'This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry that you
pushed me into the coffee table last night so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
run out the room and I’ll follow you like a lost puppy
baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths but we
know that no matter how many knives we put in each other’s backs
that we’ll have each other’s backs, ’cause we’re that lucky
together, we move mountains, let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
you hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
but together, we’ll live forever, we found the youth fountain
our love is crazy, we’re nuts, but I refused counselin’
this house is too huge, if you move out I’ll burn all two thousand
square feet of it to the ground, ain’t shit you can do about it
with you I’m in my f–kin’ mind, without you, I’m out it'

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

This Morning You Wake, A Sunray Hit's Your Face...

Some Lyrics From Eminem. Taken from the song 'Love The Way You Lie Part 2.'


'This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry that you
pushed me into the coffee table last night so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
run out the room and I’ll follow you like a lost puppy
baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths but we
know that no matter how many knives we put in each other’s backs
that we’ll have each other’s backs, ’cause we’re that lucky
together, we move mountains, let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
you hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
but together, we’ll live forever, we found the youth fountain
our love is crazy, we’re nuts, but I refused counselin’
this house is too huge, if you move out I’ll burn all two thousand
square feet of it to the ground, ain’t shit you can do about it
with you I’m in my f–kin’ mind, without you, I’m out it'

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Over, When You Said Goodbye....

Honestly I thought it was something special. really, I enjoyed every minute. And I've missed what it was every minute since it fell apart. But maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe it was an illusion ? A charade ? Could I have just been a way to feel better about yourself ? To try and convince yourself that you were capable of some level of humanity and love. Only to jump ship to an easier and less difficult person as soon as it became an option ?

Probably not ! I think more of you then that. But I couldn't even begin to judge you if it was the case ! You see, I would find it perfectly understandable, inevitable even, I can't be easy to live with, especially in a confined environment for much of the time.

Mybe what I'm stumbling about trying to say is, I don't care. That's not mean, it's a compliment. However you feel regarding me now doesn't matter, because I will always have the time we spent together, and nothing can take that away from me. Nothing....

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Over, When You Said Goodbye....

Honestly I thought it was something special. really, I enjoyed every minute. And I've missed what it was every minute since it fell apart. But maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe it was an illusion ? A charade ? Could I have just been a way to feel better about yourself ? To try and convince yourself that you were capable of some level of humanity and love. Only to jump ship to an easier and less difficult person as soon as it became an option ?

Probably not ! I think more of you then that. But I couldn't even begin to judge you if it was the case ! You see, I would find it perfectly understandable, inevitable even, I can't be easy to live with, especially in a confined environment for much of the time.

Mybe what I'm stumbling about trying to say is, I don't care. That's not mean, it's a compliment. However you feel regarding me now doesn't matter, because I will always have the time we spent together, and nothing can take that away from me. Nothing....

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Moments

When you put some actual thought into it, you realise that you split your life into individual moments. Every chapter of it is summed up in your mind by one particular vison, or moment. Often exagarated, but usually perfect. And that is what it's all about i'd say. Life is these moments, i saw a film last night, Love & Other Drugs, and it really rammed this point home to me so to speak. Life cannot be perfect, as people we all have flaws and will almost certaintly muck up every good thing we are given, this can't be helped. Sad but true. However, it's not too matter, because in the end what we do have is the perfect moments, as many as we want. And they won't ever leave us, they can't be lost. Because these monets are forever engrained in our minds, they become a part of us, part of the make-up that creates us, forms us and makes us whatever it is that we are and are supposed to become.

So this brings me to me.... The moments in my head, i've got many, i live in these monets more often than not, cling to them even. But that's not the be all and end all, i am on a constant journey to create new moments, new segments of reality, little steps of perfection on a rough and sort of depressing staircase. However, it really isn't easy that's for sure. It's like at the moment, life is diluted, everything is watered down. Colours don't stand out as bright as they have before, nothing is as exciting, everything has become the same. Excitemtn has basically just fucked off, this is as bad as it's been in a long time. The small brief moments of enjoyment are just toally overshadowed by the shit that surrounds them. I cannot win with this ! It dawned on me a matter of hours ago that my decisions in the past, and lack of action in certain scenarios have all resulted in this ! I am without a doubt the very man who was was too afraid to fly so who never did land. Were would i have been now had i just flown, had i just went for it, took the leap of faith so to speak. Not here that's for sure, but then i would have missed out on so much else, it's impossible to know or comprehend ! So i won't.

End of the day, this is exactly were i am, my own choices have led me here, so instead of complaining i'm going to make it work, i will find something, anything and everything will be good again. As Bette Davis would say: 'Why Let Us Ask For The Moon, When We Have The Stars.'

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx

Moments

When you put some actual thought into it, you realise that you split your life into individual moments. Every chapter of it is summed up in your mind by one particular vison, or moment. Often exagarated, but usually perfect. And that is what it's all about i'd say. Life is these moments, i saw a film last night, Love & Other Drugs, and it really rammed this point home to me so to speak. Life cannot be perfect, as people we all have flaws and will almost certaintly muck up every good thing we are given, this can't be helped. Sad but true. However, it's not too matter, because in the end what we do have is the perfect moments, as many as we want. And they won't ever leave us, they can't be lost. Because these monets are forever engrained in our minds, they become a part of us, part of the make-up that creates us, forms us and makes us whatever it is that we are and are supposed to become.

So this brings me to me.... The moments in my head, i've got many, i live in these monets more often than not, cling to them even. But that's not the be all and end all, i am on a constant journey to create new moments, new segments of reality, little steps of perfection on a rough and sort of depressing staircase. However, it really isn't easy that's for sure. It's like at the moment, life is diluted, everything is watered down. Colours don't stand out as bright as they have before, nothing is as exciting, everything has become the same. Excitemtn has basically just fucked off, this is as bad as it's been in a long time. The small brief moments of enjoyment are just toally overshadowed by the shit that surrounds them. I cannot win with this ! It dawned on me a matter of hours ago that my decisions in the past, and lack of action in certain scenarios have all resulted in this ! I am without a doubt the very man who was was too afraid to fly so who never did land. Were would i have been now had i just flown, had i just went for it, took the leap of faith so to speak. Not here that's for sure, but then i would have missed out on so much else, it's impossible to know or comprehend ! So i won't.

End of the day, this is exactly were i am, my own choices have led me here, so instead of complaining i'm going to make it work, i will find something, anything and everything will be good again. As Bette Davis would say: 'Why Let Us Ask For The Moon, When We Have The Stars.'

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx

Forever Is Always

It's totally fucking impossible to navigate everything perfectly without ruining it all, or at least ruining something ! I just keep falling into traps, not even new traps, sometimes the same old ones, that I've navigated and fallen into before ! It's just one constant hurdle after another, and you don't even realise it untill it's too late, and people are burst, ruined and mighty pissed off !

All I want, seriously is the path of least resistance. I like when people say the right things, do what I like and make me feel good. The kinda person that does that serves to make me feel comfortable and in doing so I can't help but fall into them every so often, it's simple like that. but I cannot help but feel bad, for the good of their act is not justified by what I can offer in return. I honestly do feel like an empty vessel. I can't feel genuine emotions for the situation, merely the ones that I force because I think I have too. It's no secret, but maybe it's not fair...

So where do I see myself moving ? To be fair, it's very hard to say. I have this idea, an elusive notion so to speak. Theirs no defonative answer yet, no real salvation. But I'd the rumours are to be believed a hurricane might soon be hitting, a perfect storm. We shall see. Maybe I am finally going to find what I've been hunting for since I realised what is was exactly, that special something, that intrigue and awe. Of course it's just smoke & Mirrors just now and so it will most likely to remain for months yet. If it's worth it, it will be a long process, I don't want to rush and screw anything up. I gotta look clearly and be sure of what I'm doing. A problem I've failed at before. I just have to keep calm and not be like an over-excited fool ! This could even be something special ! Here's hoping, and here's looking at you kid. Play nice.

I'll Be Talkin' To Yaa xxx

Forever Is Always

It's totally fucking impossible to navigate everything perfectly without ruining it all, or at least ruining something ! I just keep falling into traps, not even new traps, sometimes the same old ones, that I've navigated and fallen into before ! It's just one constant hurdle after another, and you don't even realise it untill it's too late, and people are burst, ruined and mighty pissed off !

All I want, seriously is the path of least resistance. I like when people say the right things, do what I like and make me feel good. The kinda person that does that serves to make me feel comfortable and in doing so I can't help but fall into them every so often, it's simple like that. but I cannot help but feel bad, for the good of their act is not justified by what I can offer in return. I honestly do feel like an empty vessel. I can't feel genuine emotions for the situation, merely the ones that I force because I think I have too. It's no secret, but maybe it's not fair...

So where do I see myself moving ? To be fair, it's very hard to say. I have this idea, an elusive notion so to speak. Theirs no defonative answer yet, no real salvation. But I'd the rumours are to be believed a hurricane might soon be hitting, a perfect storm. We shall see. Maybe I am finally going to find what I've been hunting for since I realised what is was exactly, that special something, that intrigue and awe. Of course it's just smoke & Mirrors just now and so it will most likely to remain for months yet. If it's worth it, it will be a long process, I don't want to rush and screw anything up. I gotta look clearly and be sure of what I'm doing. A problem I've failed at before. I just have to keep calm and not be like an over-excited fool ! This could even be something special ! Here's hoping, and here's looking at you kid. Play nice.

I'll Be Talkin' To Yaa xxx