Moments

When you put some actual thought into it, you realise that you split your life into individual moments. Every chapter of it is summed up in your mind by one particular vison, or moment. Often exagarated, but usually perfect. And that is what it's all about i'd say. Life is these moments, i saw a film last night, Love & Other Drugs, and it really rammed this point home to me so to speak. Life cannot be perfect, as people we all have flaws and will almost certaintly muck up every good thing we are given, this can't be helped. Sad but true. However, it's not too matter, because in the end what we do have is the perfect moments, as many as we want. And they won't ever leave us, they can't be lost. Because these monets are forever engrained in our minds, they become a part of us, part of the make-up that creates us, forms us and makes us whatever it is that we are and are supposed to become.

So this brings me to me.... The moments in my head, i've got many, i live in these monets more often than not, cling to them even. But that's not the be all and end all, i am on a constant journey to create new moments, new segments of reality, little steps of perfection on a rough and sort of depressing staircase. However, it really isn't easy that's for sure. It's like at the moment, life is diluted, everything is watered down. Colours don't stand out as bright as they have before, nothing is as exciting, everything has become the same. Excitemtn has basically just fucked off, this is as bad as it's been in a long time. The small brief moments of enjoyment are just toally overshadowed by the shit that surrounds them. I cannot win with this ! It dawned on me a matter of hours ago that my decisions in the past, and lack of action in certain scenarios have all resulted in this ! I am without a doubt the very man who was was too afraid to fly so who never did land. Were would i have been now had i just flown, had i just went for it, took the leap of faith so to speak. Not here that's for sure, but then i would have missed out on so much else, it's impossible to know or comprehend ! So i won't.

End of the day, this is exactly were i am, my own choices have led me here, so instead of complaining i'm going to make it work, i will find something, anything and everything will be good again. As Bette Davis would say: 'Why Let Us Ask For The Moon, When We Have The Stars.'

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx