Treading Water

Oooh, this bad, real fucking bad. I honestly feel (for the first time in a while) that I'm losing control. It's slipping away, falling through the cracks. And I don't even know what it is, just that it's not lasting, past the fucking sell by date.

Ever look up right, just stare at the night, and think that someplace, somebody else could be doing that exact same thing and that person could be the one. That one that will eventually swoop in a fix everything. Who knows, maybe there looking at the exact same star, sharing the same thoughts, the same fears. What is there to fear ? God damn everything. Bravado gets ya far, but it can't win the war, just the early battles. How important are these fucking things ? Does it even matter ?

I suppose I just miss the way-back-when.... When we was all just children, but we all thought that we knew everything ! And that we ran the fucking game. We were wrong, of course, but we still are, everyone still keeps fucking it up, the 'everyone' back then is differant to who is all there now, but it's the same old mistakes ! At least back then, we though we had it all figured out, right before we threw it all away ! Now we're throwing it away, but without working anything out first. Back then we had a real plan, things were laid out, they didn't just happen. And it was easy, it all made sense ! Now there isn't any sense, just abject chaos and destruction, and it's sad that it's how I feel most comfertable a large amount of the time, and I do well from it, but every so often I just need to feel something real, and I think maybe that time is now, again....

So, hopefully out there somewere, there is somebody sitting alone, just looking at the sky, sharing a star with somebody who just might be me, if that person is out there, or if that person is you, then hopefully I will see you soon :)

I'll Be Talking To Yaa xxx