So once again it sems i've stept right into the shit. I seem to make the wrong choices far too frequently, even when i can see the problems coming, i invite them on, I swear i'm like a magnet for hurt !
Luckily this one is screwed before it's even started really, it's pretty depressing though, especially as i had high hopes here, but it's pretty much a non-starter, it's not because of me (again) just the option i picked in my 'pursuit of happiness' was the wrong one, this one was just an accident waiting to happen, however, the truth is so am i at points and this could have worked out rather well, my commen sense however is screaming that it won't. Theres just far too much else goin on there, and a past with a list longer then mine, that i think will take a long time to tick off.
So were does this leave me, well i'm not going to panic, i can still make the situation play out in my favour, but it will require some thought and patience, luckily two things which have been developed very well by me in the last few months ! All i want is for a while to not be sad, to be happy. The last 2 weeks have felt like that, i've went to bed with a smile and woken up lookin forward to the day, i just hope that i can make this last, thier is always hope, otherwise what would be the point in living.
Honesty isn't always the option, i know that, and such is why i'm not an honoust person, peel away my layers and you'll find more and more defences, and there is a reason.... I let them down this once, first time in 6 months and look what happens, i get stood on, torn-up and let down. It's always the same... Nothing ever changes, the players are differant, but in the end, i always lose.
Answer the question, What is the point in living, if you've nothing to live for ?......
...... Thought as much.........
I'll be Talkin To Ya xxx
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