Like all good stories, and most of mine, it's all to do with a girl. This oneis pretty much the forgotten girl in my life. Nothing agiainst her of course, we were both just kids. Her 13 me 14, and due to that a lack of knowledge on how to approach things. She was rather skinny, so i'll refer to her as 'Bones'. I liked her quite a lot.
We were put in touch through our frineds who had been going out for a good while. To keep things short then, we talked an talked, and i began to like her. Strange thing was, she really, really, liked me. She made it obvious and that excited me, i had never been in a scenario like that before. Liking a person who i knew for certain would be my Girlfriend if i asked. So, in typical me style... i Didn't. Not for cynical reasons though, i was just scared. Some things never change i suppose. Eventually the topic came up, quite casually infact. We just talked and agreed to become a 'couple'. However i was going to New York in a few weeks, and her living in Fife and going to school at Doller Acadamy meant i wouldn't get to see her for a long time. So i said that it would be smartest to wait until i was back from holidays. She would nearly be done with school, so we'd have the whole summer to hang out. Seemed perfect.... I promised. So therefore i had to go and fuck it all up. Yay !
This is the point in the narrative were the hero (Me) has his head turned by a villain/temptress, and loses sight of what's important and in turn loses the princess/love interest ('Bones'). So then, who is the villain in this sad little tale. Well, she was ginger and evil. So i think she'll be called 'Diablo'. Now 'Diablo' was a girl from my school who i'd gotten to know at a school camp. I had prety much forgotten her, but then she seemed to take a liking to my innocent little self.
'Diablo' was very differant to 'Bones' in everyway possible. She was obviously attractive, opposed to the subtle beauty of the (year younger) 'Bones'. loud, confident, opposed to shy. Cury and sexual, as oppsed to thin and untainted. Most iportantly she just wasn't a nice person. Just hollow, a shell. I still doubt whether she ever truelly had a feeling for me, or if she could just portay those emotions effectivly. Then we became a 'couple', completely forgetting my earlier promise to the real and infactuated 'Bones'. I didn't even realise..... So 'Diablo' hd completely changed my plans. And would again very quickly. We finished before we ever really, no more than a month. I was upset, devestated to be honest. Not because i particularly like her, just what she represented. I needed to open up, wanted somebody to talk to. Step forward (of course) .... 'Bones'. !
Seemingly not pissed of that i'd broken a promise to her in order to chase the non-existant ideals that el 'Diablo' has so clearly represented. She became a best friend to me, when i was desperate for one. Fair play to her like, if it was me i'd have been pretty angry .
So anyway, we became very close, but in a purely friendly manner. Such a relationship that probably ruined any lingering chance of a romantic scenario emerging. That, looking back, was a real fucking shame.
Now a couple of years later and a fair few doses of the 'olheartbreak later i can look back and really understand just how dumb i acted ! Their is no way i would let something like that happen now. Not a fucking chance !
I treated the poor girl like shit, and i don't think i could ever make that back up. I broke a promise. I never got a chance to anyway. I don't know her anymore, i should, but contact was lost. My loss i'd say. I hear about her occasionally throguh others and she's doing alright, changed alot presumably. I'm sure she's not caring. Christ i was stupid. So there ya'll have it. My first experience of life kicking me in the nuts and running of giggling about it. Two options, i took the wrong one. Bad times. I wonder how differant things would have been had i been smart at 14.
So that's 2007........ 2008 wass even more interesting. Keep reading people.
'When you see a smile, respond. Don't look back in regret.'
I'll Be Talkin To Ya xx
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