Heart Shaped Box

if i say live , you'd scream die. Fight, fight, fight..... Is it real, could it be fake. I don't believe it any more, but it might be there. Don't cry. don't cry baby, baby don't cry. Truth ? Who needs it ? Wants it ? Well maybe, occasionally, but di i have to give it up ? Could i let it out. Sometimes not always. Does it matter, would it matter ? I'm there often, with you, but never really there, ya get me ? More like just existing, within your space, i don't feel a part of it all ? The comings and goings ? More just like an add-on. Make sense ? Nope, thought is not, just lie down and take a pill, everythings under control....... But no ! It ficking isn't under control, it's all a big fucking mess, a lie, a big evil lie. But you still want it all the same. Don't look away i know you do, i can tell. What's not though ? Is their a next ? What if you don't come back, what if if i never want to see you again. Does next happen ? Or does everything stop, does the world stop spinning, do we all die ? Maybe.. But maybe not. It could spin on, round and round and round and round, never ending, a fucking circus of bullshit. But what about good, nice, old fashioned good ? Yeah ok, so mybe it all works out good, cool, fucking A, i'm glad, but it's sufficating, i can't look so far, ahhh ! the lights glareing, i'm blind, i can't fucking see, not a thing, i can't see myself, i can't see my life, i can't even see God. That's because there isn't a God. Say's cynical bastard in my head. I believe him... I know says i, God is dead, soon everything could be dead. But i want to live, and live i fucking will, just watch me. I dare you all to stop me, i'll fight forever, without my arms, my legs, hell even my eyes, but that shouldn't matter because i'm blind, remember ! See you forgot nobody cares, not a bit, do you give a shit ? She does... I think, but how do i know ? I'll never know, not till the things is gone, far, far away. Forever. But the hands she says, and the darkness, but i don't listen, i can't be bothered. I just stand on the bridge, look at the waves, covering solid sharp rocks. Stepping onto the wall i look down again, i just see a face, an angry face, it wants to eat me whole, i get scared and decide not to jump, not yet, i go home, and go to sleep, with her, i sleep better with her, i don't get why. So then i wake up, sadly. I wanted to sleep forever, i look in my globe, i go to the centre of the Earth and i find the treasure, little white pill, i take them all, i smile.. And then i drift off again, this time i might not wake up, who knows ? I didn't, until she screamed, i woke up. And we both cried... Do i ? Don't i ? You'll never know. Not from me, i'm too scared....


I'll be talkin to ya xx