Stop The Clocks

So i was talkin yesterday with some people and the topic came up of whether (if you had the choice of course) would you go back and change anything. At first i gave a steadfast no ! I argued that every little action i'd made resulted in me being me, and having the life i do right now. And i quite like it really. But then i put more thought into it and the question sorta got more complicated. Alot more complicated actually :/

I thought about the question from the aspect of recent history y'know and how things have all panned out. At the moment it's all pretty good and i'm having a decent timee etc, but it dawned on me pretty quickly that certain aspects of the last year or so i would maybe change. Things i've said, done and acted. Going all the way back to the last few months i spent at school, and the way i left, the ties i cut and stuff. Maybe i shouldn't have been quit so ruthless and aggresive in the way i went about dismantling my group of friends. But to be fair i didn't particularly like them much.

I've got more regret over other things that went on that sorta dampened the overall brilliance of year 1 at university. It was kinda one of the situations were i didn't realise i was doing much wrong and tbh i still think that i wasn't soley to blame for anything. But i will admit to myself now that i did do some things that wern't the nicest. And maybe i acted like abit of a twat occasionaly. Infact, maybe quite often ! I suppose it was just one of those things that i didn't realise i was risking something and acting dumb until it was too late and things weren't how they should be. So yeah, i didn't realise it was lost till it was gone and at that point i was too distracted to be as apologetic as i should be. But hey, i suppose i can still make amends :)

So yeah, basicly, i'm of the opinion that whilst everything that happens carries you on to the next part of your life, and even bad shit eventually works itself into something kinda decent, their are still some little things that you can regret and maybe look back and hope to change. But what is in the past is in the past, and maybe, just maybe, it should stick there (Y)

I'll Be TAlkin To Ya xxx

Stop The Clocks

So i was talkin yesterday with some people and the topic came up of whether (if you had the choice of course) would you go back and change anything. At first i gave a steadfast no ! I argued that every little action i'd made resulted in me being me, and having the life i do right now. And i quite like it really. But then i put more thought into it and the question sorta got more complicated. Alot more complicated actually :/

I thought about the question from the aspect of recent history y'know and how things have all panned out. At the moment it's all pretty good and i'm having a decent timee etc, but it dawned on me pretty quickly that certain aspects of the last year or so i would maybe change. Things i've said, done and acted. Going all the way back to the last few months i spent at school, and the way i left, the ties i cut and stuff. Maybe i shouldn't have been quit so ruthless and aggresive in the way i went about dismantling my group of friends. But to be fair i didn't particularly like them much.

I've got more regret over other things that went on that sorta dampened the overall brilliance of year 1 at university. It was kinda one of the situations were i didn't realise i was doing much wrong and tbh i still think that i wasn't soley to blame for anything. But i will admit to myself now that i did do some things that wern't the nicest. And maybe i acted like abit of a twat occasionaly. Infact, maybe quite often ! I suppose it was just one of those things that i didn't realise i was risking something and acting dumb until it was too late and things weren't how they should be. So yeah, i didn't realise it was lost till it was gone and at that point i was too distracted to be as apologetic as i should be. But hey, i suppose i can still make amends :)

So yeah, basicly, i'm of the opinion that whilst everything that happens carries you on to the next part of your life, and even bad shit eventually works itself into something kinda decent, their are still some little things that you can regret and maybe look back and hope to change. But what is in the past is in the past, and maybe, just maybe, it should stick there (Y)

I'll Be TAlkin To Ya xxx

Half scewed picture..

What happens if everything you think is going on is just a part of the bigger picture. Like what if their was so much going on that you just didn't know about, is that something to be scared of, worried about ? So fair enough, i'm kept in the loop regarding most things, and from experience even the parts of the others life that i'm not wanting to know, the things that would probably be weasier for me if they were just kept hidden. But in the long run it's maybe's a bit better that way. Builds up trust and honesty. All good things in a twosome.

My issue is that i'm doubting certain aspects, i know it's petty and dumb, but i still cannot fully trust, maybe this isn't the one to put my trust in, course it's not, but i want to anyway. I like how it makes me feel.

So what exactly am i doubting ? Problem is i don't actually know ! I think it's almost everything. What exists, what doesn't. Is it a threat if a few nights after a drunken night out with work people, our plans are cancelled due to being 'tired' ? Is the worker actually tired for real, or is somebody else returning home from with the arches alongside ? Or am i just being totally stupid ? Ridiculous even ? Fuck knows.

What i do know is that my senses are very good. When someting is not going right i can be rest assured i'll be made well aware by my own intuition and that feeling is what i'm experiencing right now. I know it all too well. I just cannot shake this thought that something is going on there tonight that i am not a part of. Potentially some fall-out from Monday. I can't be sure... Yet ! But i will be. I don't let secrets lie for too long. I'll on into a conversation trap, and bang, it'll be revealed, if anything. Hope not. I care too much. They care all the way back, i know that. But i can never fully rest easy, not whilst i know the things i do.

I'm out.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

Half scewed picture..

What happens if everything you think is going on is just a part of the bigger picture. Like what if their was so much going on that you just didn't know about, is that something to be scared of, worried about ? So fair enough, i'm kept in the loop regarding most things, and from experience even the parts of the others life that i'm not wanting to know, the things that would probably be weasier for me if they were just kept hidden. But in the long run it's maybe's a bit better that way. Builds up trust and honesty. All good things in a twosome.

My issue is that i'm doubting certain aspects, i know it's petty and dumb, but i still cannot fully trust, maybe this isn't the one to put my trust in, course it's not, but i want to anyway. I like how it makes me feel.

So what exactly am i doubting ? Problem is i don't actually know ! I think it's almost everything. What exists, what doesn't. Is it a threat if a few nights after a drunken night out with work people, our plans are cancelled due to being 'tired' ? Is the worker actually tired for real, or is somebody else returning home from with the arches alongside ? Or am i just being totally stupid ? Ridiculous even ? Fuck knows.

What i do know is that my senses are very good. When someting is not going right i can be rest assured i'll be made well aware by my own intuition and that feeling is what i'm experiencing right now. I know it all too well. I just cannot shake this thought that something is going on there tonight that i am not a part of. Potentially some fall-out from Monday. I can't be sure... Yet ! But i will be. I don't let secrets lie for too long. I'll on into a conversation trap, and bang, it'll be revealed, if anything. Hope not. I care too much. They care all the way back, i know that. But i can never fully rest easy, not whilst i know the things i do.

I'm out.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

18

Hey all ! It's been awhile.

I'm 18 now, it was my birthday a couple of weeks back. I had fun, got most of my friends out, from all the differant gropups. It was a nice little group, very eclectic !

In comparison to my birthday last year it was fantastic. If you remember rightly, or can be arsed to look back to last years posts, you'll remember that my birthday was a complete non-event, their wasn't any real celebration if you get me and that was weird. But it was for a reason i suppose, i can only look back and blame myself for that, but all the same it's all good now and in a year things have changed dramaticly ! For the better :)

Since last year i've started university, made a whole new group of friends, had months of brilliant nights, and a shit load of memories. What more could i want ? Maybe for one of those firneds to have been out for my birthday, but maybe, just maybe, things between us aren't quite what they were and it wouldn't have been completely appropriate. Not my words by th eway, just the advice i was given :/

All in all it's been an awesome year, one of the best. And i suppose i should take a moment here to mention the younger Reini, my current girlfriend. She is amazing, and the way this relationship has developed is way beyond what i was expecting or hoped. She is fucking brilliant, and i am happier then i have been in so long. Far more then how i felt last year !

Ok, i'll leave it at that.

I'll Be TAlkin To Yaa xxx

18

Hey all ! It's been awhile.

I'm 18 now, it was my birthday a couple of weeks back. I had fun, got most of my friends out, from all the differant gropups. It was a nice little group, very eclectic !

In comparison to my birthday last year it was fantastic. If you remember rightly, or can be arsed to look back to last years posts, you'll remember that my birthday was a complete non-event, their wasn't any real celebration if you get me and that was weird. But it was for a reason i suppose, i can only look back and blame myself for that, but all the same it's all good now and in a year things have changed dramaticly ! For the better :)

Since last year i've started university, made a whole new group of friends, had months of brilliant nights, and a shit load of memories. What more could i want ? Maybe for one of those firneds to have been out for my birthday, but maybe, just maybe, things between us aren't quite what they were and it wouldn't have been completely appropriate. Not my words by th eway, just the advice i was given :/

All in all it's been an awesome year, one of the best. And i suppose i should take a moment here to mention the younger Reini, my current girlfriend. She is amazing, and the way this relationship has developed is way beyond what i was expecting or hoped. She is fucking brilliant, and i am happier then i have been in so long. Far more then how i felt last year !

Ok, i'll leave it at that.

I'll Be TAlkin To Yaa xxx

Romance On The Empire State

I Stood at the top, looked down on everything......

The wind lifted and chilled, whilst the moon gave a warm glow....

The city lights illuminated, the heart of the world.....

And what could i see, what did i think.

It was you....

I love you.


I'll Be Talkin To Ya XxX