Half scewed picture..

What happens if everything you think is going on is just a part of the bigger picture. Like what if their was so much going on that you just didn't know about, is that something to be scared of, worried about ? So fair enough, i'm kept in the loop regarding most things, and from experience even the parts of the others life that i'm not wanting to know, the things that would probably be weasier for me if they were just kept hidden. But in the long run it's maybe's a bit better that way. Builds up trust and honesty. All good things in a twosome.

My issue is that i'm doubting certain aspects, i know it's petty and dumb, but i still cannot fully trust, maybe this isn't the one to put my trust in, course it's not, but i want to anyway. I like how it makes me feel.

So what exactly am i doubting ? Problem is i don't actually know ! I think it's almost everything. What exists, what doesn't. Is it a threat if a few nights after a drunken night out with work people, our plans are cancelled due to being 'tired' ? Is the worker actually tired for real, or is somebody else returning home from with the arches alongside ? Or am i just being totally stupid ? Ridiculous even ? Fuck knows.

What i do know is that my senses are very good. When someting is not going right i can be rest assured i'll be made well aware by my own intuition and that feeling is what i'm experiencing right now. I know it all too well. I just cannot shake this thought that something is going on there tonight that i am not a part of. Potentially some fall-out from Monday. I can't be sure... Yet ! But i will be. I don't let secrets lie for too long. I'll on into a conversation trap, and bang, it'll be revealed, if anything. Hope not. I care too much. They care all the way back, i know that. But i can never fully rest easy, not whilst i know the things i do.

I'm out.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx