End Of The World As You Know It

I'm fascinated by the manner in which everything can change in your life and you almost don't realise. What i'm meaning is that over a period of time, small things come up and become big things, your priorities start to differ and eve nthe genral routine of your life becomes completely differant. And because the process is spread out over a distance of time, you just don't realise until it's all changed.

This thought just sorta came to me last night. I was lying in bed, not sleeping, and i began to realise that if you took me this time last year, and compared that with myself now, there is very little similarity with regards to the thoughts and priorities in ones head. Like it's all new faces. Most of the old has just been let go. I'm ruthless like that, i'll drop people on a whim. But not just that. These new people, who i didn't even know existed last year, are my life now. These people are the ones who i spent time with. Who i live with, learn with, drink with, fuck with. And it is weird to think that i has no idea of any of them only a year ago ! Of course thre's the inner circle. The few and trusted who have been in my life forever. And they'll never dissapear, but the've been joined by soo many other folk.

Also, i think it would be fair to say that i've changed pretty drasticly too. I've really noticed that i've began to open up a little more. I'm waayyy less scared of allowing people in. I've began to trust people more then i did before, and i'm enjoying it. Doing this is actually allowing me to become closer with the people who i call friends. The reason behind this i think, is maybe the fact that, unlike before i now have a group of friends (who i met mostly through uni) that instead of just accepting as they are hanging about in the same areas as me, i actually am proper friends with ! I really like these people, and that feels really, really good.

Another huge change is just location. Now i hang out and peoples own flat's. Belonging to them. As opposed to going to peoples parent's houses, or student flat's like i wa this time last year and beforee that. Even though i still live at home, it makes me feel more independant. Like i'm seeing what it takes to live outwith your families protection, and i'm totally confidnet that i could sustain myself in that manner, and probably enjoy it aswel. Having spent the majority of my time in the last few months staying away from home anyway i'm used to it all, and frankly it just seems normal. As does going out without having to plan for being underage and things like that. I can now enjoy being out without the uncertainty of maybe getting chucked out of someplace, or not even getting in ! It's whole new freedom and one that just makes life a whole lot fucking easier. Having a group of older friends of course, led to me being out all the time, and getting used to that enviroment, but i was still having to use my mates I.D and although it worked one hundred percent of the time (Thank's Dave) IIt's just cool to have my own now.

All in all, at this point, i finally feel grown up ! I am confident in myself, and assured in what i'm doing. I have awesome friends in all avenues of my life, and an entire new year to look forward to at university. I actually cannot fucking wait ! I'm on the cusp of passing my driving test (finally) and that'll just add to it all. Even though i completely loathe driving cars ! Haha.

So i suppose all that's left to say, is that the world i was existing in 365 days ago, is all in the past. So here's to the future. I firmly believe that something fantastic is about to happen, i'm just about to fall into the best damm time of my life. It's the end of the world as i know it... And i feel fine.

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx