Heart Shaped Box

if i say live , you'd scream die. Fight, fight, fight..... Is it real, could it be fake. I don't believe it any more, but it might be there. Don't cry. don't cry baby, baby don't cry. Truth ? Who needs it ? Wants it ? Well maybe, occasionally, but di i have to give it up ? Could i let it out. Sometimes not always. Does it matter, would it matter ? I'm there often, with you, but never really there, ya get me ? More like just existing, within your space, i don't feel a part of it all ? The comings and goings ? More just like an add-on. Make sense ? Nope, thought is not, just lie down and take a pill, everythings under control....... But no ! It ficking isn't under control, it's all a big fucking mess, a lie, a big evil lie. But you still want it all the same. Don't look away i know you do, i can tell. What's not though ? Is their a next ? What if you don't come back, what if if i never want to see you again. Does next happen ? Or does everything stop, does the world stop spinning, do we all die ? Maybe.. But maybe not. It could spin on, round and round and round and round, never ending, a fucking circus of bullshit. But what about good, nice, old fashioned good ? Yeah ok, so mybe it all works out good, cool, fucking A, i'm glad, but it's sufficating, i can't look so far, ahhh ! the lights glareing, i'm blind, i can't fucking see, not a thing, i can't see myself, i can't see my life, i can't even see God. That's because there isn't a God. Say's cynical bastard in my head. I believe him... I know says i, God is dead, soon everything could be dead. But i want to live, and live i fucking will, just watch me. I dare you all to stop me, i'll fight forever, without my arms, my legs, hell even my eyes, but that shouldn't matter because i'm blind, remember ! See you forgot nobody cares, not a bit, do you give a shit ? She does... I think, but how do i know ? I'll never know, not till the things is gone, far, far away. Forever. But the hands she says, and the darkness, but i don't listen, i can't be bothered. I just stand on the bridge, look at the waves, covering solid sharp rocks. Stepping onto the wall i look down again, i just see a face, an angry face, it wants to eat me whole, i get scared and decide not to jump, not yet, i go home, and go to sleep, with her, i sleep better with her, i don't get why. So then i wake up, sadly. I wanted to sleep forever, i look in my globe, i go to the centre of the Earth and i find the treasure, little white pill, i take them all, i smile.. And then i drift off again, this time i might not wake up, who knows ? I didn't, until she screamed, i woke up. And we both cried... Do i ? Don't i ? You'll never know. Not from me, i'm too scared....


I'll be talkin to ya xx

Heart Shaped Box

if i say live , you'd scream die. Fight, fight, fight..... Is it real, could it be fake. I don't believe it any more, but it might be there. Don't cry. don't cry baby, baby don't cry. Truth ? Who needs it ? Wants it ? Well maybe, occasionally, but di i have to give it up ? Could i let it out. Sometimes not always. Does it matter, would it matter ? I'm there often, with you, but never really there, ya get me ? More like just existing, within your space, i don't feel a part of it all ? The comings and goings ? More just like an add-on. Make sense ? Nope, thought is not, just lie down and take a pill, everythings under control....... But no ! It ficking isn't under control, it's all a big fucking mess, a lie, a big evil lie. But you still want it all the same. Don't look away i know you do, i can tell. What's not though ? Is their a next ? What if you don't come back, what if if i never want to see you again. Does next happen ? Or does everything stop, does the world stop spinning, do we all die ? Maybe.. But maybe not. It could spin on, round and round and round and round, never ending, a fucking circus of bullshit. But what about good, nice, old fashioned good ? Yeah ok, so mybe it all works out good, cool, fucking A, i'm glad, but it's sufficating, i can't look so far, ahhh ! the lights glareing, i'm blind, i can't fucking see, not a thing, i can't see myself, i can't see my life, i can't even see God. That's because there isn't a God. Say's cynical bastard in my head. I believe him... I know says i, God is dead, soon everything could be dead. But i want to live, and live i fucking will, just watch me. I dare you all to stop me, i'll fight forever, without my arms, my legs, hell even my eyes, but that shouldn't matter because i'm blind, remember ! See you forgot nobody cares, not a bit, do you give a shit ? She does... I think, but how do i know ? I'll never know, not till the things is gone, far, far away. Forever. But the hands she says, and the darkness, but i don't listen, i can't be bothered. I just stand on the bridge, look at the waves, covering solid sharp rocks. Stepping onto the wall i look down again, i just see a face, an angry face, it wants to eat me whole, i get scared and decide not to jump, not yet, i go home, and go to sleep, with her, i sleep better with her, i don't get why. So then i wake up, sadly. I wanted to sleep forever, i look in my globe, i go to the centre of the Earth and i find the treasure, little white pill, i take them all, i smile.. And then i drift off again, this time i might not wake up, who knows ? I didn't, until she screamed, i woke up. And we both cried... Do i ? Don't i ? You'll never know. Not from me, i'm too scared....


I'll be talkin to ya xx

'The Attitude'

This is a little excert from the script to the movie 'Fast Times At Ridgemount High'. I freakin love this film, and i was watching it the other night with my houseguest and it dawned on me that this dialogue had always totally passed me by. Which is criminal as it is pretty damm brilliant... Enjoy.


Mike Damone: I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.


Mark Ratner: Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.


Mike Damone: That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude.


Mark Ratner: The attitude?


Mike Damone: Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.


I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

'The Attitude'

This is a little excert from the script to the movie 'Fast Times At Ridgemount High'. I freakin love this film, and i was watching it the other night with my houseguest and it dawned on me that this dialogue had always totally passed me by. Which is criminal as it is pretty damm brilliant... Enjoy.


Mike Damone: I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.


Mark Ratner: Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.


Mike Damone: That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude.


Mark Ratner: The attitude?


Mike Damone: Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.


I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx

An April Fool

So i havn't been overly buzy on this of late, mainly due to being overly buzy in the real world. But i did think it would be funny to do some sort of giant post today about some really crazy topic and make it seem dead convincing etc... before dropping the hint at the end that i was being a twat and just taking the piss :) However as i sat down to write it something occured to me which is even crazier then anything i could possiblymake-up, something that is completely unexpected that a week ago even i couldn't have imagined, due to the unlikelyhood of it all.

Last thursday threw a spanner in the works, and believe it or not ladies, and gentleman, I have a girlfriend, and it was my number one choice aswel. The girl who i'd perviously been quite convinced wouldn't be into the whole relationship thing. So there ya have it, a little status updaye for ya'll.

And this is not an April fool :)

I'll Be Talkin To Ya XxX

An April Fool

So i havn't been overly buzy on this of late, mainly due to being overly buzy in the real world. But i did think it would be funny to do some sort of giant post today about some really crazy topic and make it seem dead convincing etc... before dropping the hint at the end that i was being a twat and just taking the piss :) However as i sat down to write it something occured to me which is even crazier then anything i could possiblymake-up, something that is completely unexpected that a week ago even i couldn't have imagined, due to the unlikelyhood of it all.

Last thursday threw a spanner in the works, and believe it or not ladies, and gentleman, I have a girlfriend, and it was my number one choice aswel. The girl who i'd perviously been quite convinced wouldn't be into the whole relationship thing. So there ya have it, a little status updaye for ya'll.

And this is not an April fool :)

I'll Be Talkin To Ya XxX

'Wings For Wheels' - An Escape Down Thunder Road

'Wings For Wheels'

-An Escape Down Thunder Road-

So me and a friend were discussing great songs the other day. By great songs i mean the best, like the top level, we were looking at songs which stood out from the crowd. Be it through interesting lyrics, brillinat music, or even cultural significance. Of course the usual suspects came up in discussion, 'American Pie' (Don Mclean), 'November Rain' (Guns N' Roses), 'Born To Run' (Bruce Springsteen), 'Hallelujah' (Jeff Buckley), 'Free Fallin' (Tom Petty) and numerous others. However, for me one song was standing out that isn't often mentioned on these kinda lists, a song that despite it's sheer brilliance is largely unknown to the general public. The song is in my opinion a piece of genius. That songs is of course, 'Thunder Road'.

Originally written in 1975, the songs was first performed under title 'Wings For Wheels' (a phrase which eventually made it's way into the lyrics of the song) but eventually evolved into the songs 'thunder Road'. Springsteen placed the song as the opening track on his '75 breakthrough album, titled 'Born To Run' (Another classic song found on an album full of recognisable tracks: 'Jungleland', 'Backstreets', etc...) Springsteen went through numerous treatments of the song before settling on the eventual product. There were lyrical changes, musical differances and just slight changes to the overall compsition of the song. Perhaps most significantly the name of the main female character in the narrative changed several times, going from, Angelina to Christina, before settling on Mary. Also the iconic ending line of the song: 'It's a town full of losers, and i'm pulling out of here to win' was initially something totally differant, instead being sung: 'It's a town full of losers baby, and i'm pulling out of here to win.'

The song doesn't bother with the traditional verse-chorus structure, instead going on a storytelling narrative arc, that gradually builds up, and increases in both tempo and intensity. Interestingly the song's title 'Thunder Road' is used sparingly throughout, only making it's first appearence mid-way through the song. The themes of the song, young love, love of cars, escape, entrapment, and excitement for the future are similar to themes of anothe Springseen classic 'Born To Run'. This allows the two songs to be heard as companion peices to each other, with 'Thunder Road' giving a more bleak outlook as opposed to the fast paced, rock song that is 'Born to run'.

But what is 'Thunder Road' actually all about ? Well, there lies the beauty of the track. It can be about differant things to differant people. To take it at face value the song is simply a love story, a boy and a girl wanting to move away together, leaving their past behind. However, upon further investigation and a more inquisitive ear you begin to notice there is more then that going on. The girl Mary isn't as pure and innocent as the heroines of love songs often are. Instead she is said to have almost grown out of her small town, 'There were ghosts in the eye's of all the boys you sent away'. Meeaning that she had experienced enough small town boys with small town mentality. She saw the new man as her last chance of escape as he too shares her want to escape and live in a new and exciting world. The young man himself is shown to be ready to leave. 'It's a town full of losers, and i'm pulling out of here to win'. The impression givin of him is that he is a musician who's ability as a guitar player ('Well i got this guitar, and i learned how to make it talk') are what is going to see him a success. Of course whether his dreams do come true and him and 'Mary' reach their big city lives and escape the shackles of small town American is unknown, and it'll never be known, but her elies the appeal of the song. It could all end in failure. Like real life, it is understood that no amount of planning and hope can get you were you want to be, the city can smallow up and chew out young couples trying to make their move from the country, and only exceeptional talents or luck will see a musician make it, and stand out from the crowd.

Whether or not Springsteen's hero and his lover ever made it is a great mystery, we hope they do, but in the sad event that it failed, that they didn't achieve what they set out to do, and they returned to their old town, atleast we know they tried. They gave it their best effor. And in doing so, gave us one o the best songs ever written. A modern masterpiece, that will hopefully one day recieve the recognition that it so deserves.

I'll be talkin to ya xxx