And Here We Go!....

Hi.

I am currently sufficating, entirely and completely entombed by misery of my own doing. There is nothing to fathom or place, i don't even think theres much to be torn apart and studied. It;'s more just a scenario which needs to be dealt with and settled.... I just don't know what the situation is yet!

There isn't a wrong answer, not yet, but is there even a correct one? I can't think of it if there is. I never have the luxuary of perfectly suitable choices, then again who does? But it just seems to always be in flux with me, i never seem to be able to actually stumble through any substantial period of time without a momumental fuck-up! Or if not that, at least a crisis of confidence. Not really confidence in my actions, but confidence in my descisions, or lack-off. It's a tricky spot to find myself in, again and again and again.... But i routinely seem too, alas, maybe that's my ow misforutne, in a cosmically inspired and ordered movement to rid my life of all simplicity and enjoyment. That;s melodramatic actually, of course theres enjoyment, but only after some fucking issue usually, worse of late! And i'm not ever really willing to just nod and accept that. I WANT CONFLICT AND I WANT IT NOW!! That is essentially my moto in these most troubling of times.

I don;t really have anything to be generally upset over, infact, things should be brillinat! But i think it's just a case of something being missingm whilst the ingrediants for some early life Nirvana exist around me, the thing that binds them all together is possibly absent? Or maybe that 'thing' just doesn't exist? At least not  in the form i'd previously thought and hoped. I don't think it's really possible to know that, not until it's too late however....

I don't enjoy this, i am aware that some percieve me to be a bit of an attention seeker, just trying to get people to look in my direction, but that honestly couldn't be further from the truth, although that as an argument will always be difficult to succed with, as the act of defending the need for attention is, infact, very attention drawing, therefrore decreeing the entire statement on trial as pointless and untrue. But we deviate, back too topic.

Actually, i don't even have a topic to cover, not quite yet, but i will, i'm fairly certain of that fact.

Oh, and i'm back. Enjoy!

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx