Breakdown In Something Less Than Ordinary

Now that we don't speak I'm realising how important you were. Sure, I had an idea, course I fucking did, but it takes time to heal the problem and too fully understand the root of it.

What's the root of what then ? Well I'm not really that sure am I, but. I do know that (like the one who came before you) there's been an unknown impact, deep set y'kno, that isn't going away. It's scaring me, but weirdly comforting ain't it. Well for me it is.

It's just your names been brought up a few times recently, people be stopping to pretend you don't exist, obviously we're at that stage now, that people think I'm ok to bring her up. Which I am, of course, never haven't been either, but just funny how time forces folk to regulate there choice of topic in chat. Really is....

But yeah, back to what I be saying earlier ! We don't speak ! We were supposed too, it was gonna be special, 'best friends' me and her, you and me, whatever. But it hasn't came out that way has it ? Sure I might of freaked out couple 'o month back and caused some Bother, but that was resolved, I think. No, I know ! But now it's kinda like we don't exist to each other. I cannot and will not ever blame the good lady herself for this, as she be practically blameless, it's just life is all, but that doesn't make it any less weird !

I suppose it's normal this, to sorta drift away from each other, draw apart. Not that I want it like, but what can I do ? It's happning, plain & simple. Nootch ! I just get scared that you're forgetting ? Forgetting just how good we were, and yeah maybe you're right, that I would have been easier to have just always remained friends and never been together, but isn't that always the case ? Because every good thing has an expiration date, and the more special it is, the quicker it has to burn out, and we just couldn't keep re-igniting it baby, there was too much of real fucking life between us !

But I do wonder what she thinks ? What's in your head ? Who knows, you know and only you, not even the ohers who think they know actually do, I get you enough to be sure of that, your a living, breathing, walking contradiction. But so am I, so it sure as shot isn't the worse thing to be. I just want to know if you ever think back ? Do I still make the autobiography ? Do you remember walking the streets on that cold night in July, on the royal mile, on a pretend first date ? Do you rember talking about 30 years from now, our Eifal tower plan ? Probably not, but I'd smile if you did. I still care M'dear and always will, atleast we'll always have Paris ! Well probably not, but you never know I suppose.

'The past is only the future with the lights on.'

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xXx