An unfinshed Story

' I Guess i've learned from this, But aren't you meant to learn from your mistakes ?

I don't consider this a mistake,

I just wish the story didn't end this way....

Because i'm still in love with the person who helped me right it.'

I'll be talkin to ya xXx

An unfinshed Story

' I Guess i've learned from this, But aren't you meant to learn from your mistakes ?

I don't consider this a mistake,

I just wish the story didn't end this way....

Because i'm still in love with the person who helped me right it.'

I'll be talkin to ya xXx

A Series Of Wrong decisions And misguided Intentions..

Overall it's been a good day. Decent exam results, and Celtic going through in the Champions League after winning an away game !!! Six years that's taken like ! But i thought that whilst i had a moment i'd be better to get this all written down. It's kinda a way to work out just what went on this year thats left things so completely differant.

I suppose this all started last summer. I made a decision (almost sub-consciously) that my sizeable group of friends was becomng more of a pain then a positive thing. I'd always been a big personality in school, somebody who was always involved in everything, and a integral part of the 'Team'. I loved it, i really did. However this time last year i got to the point were things had gotten annoying amongst the people i was mates with. The majority of them had really pissed me off over the last few weeks of school, mainly because they (for whatever reason) chose to give my girlfriend of the time loads of shit, and couldn't just accept that i actually did like her ! There were just dead immature about it all, and i realised then that they weren't as good friends as i thought they were. Then when i was in Florida i heard that one of my best pals had been bitching about me for (as far as i can see) no fucking reason ! I just said fuck it and decided i didn't care. It was at that point that i decided, that i didn't need them anymore and that this would be my last year at school.

That was my plan, and it worked. I've left now :) But this year was strange, i more or less dissapeared from view. This of course was all planned and part of my long planned 'scheme'. I had very little to do with anybody from school, excluding the odd person here and there of course, and even during school i kept my distance. I think i had five or six proper days/nights out with school folk this year ! Mad eh. But that's the way i wanted it.

Thing is though, when i made the decision, i made it not just out of dislike and distrust of the main body of my group of 'friends', but also 'cause i had the insurance policy of an amazing girl who i could hang out with and spent my time with, who made me feel proper fucking incredible about myself ! As is obvious though, that didn't last the distance and it kinda left me in a conundrum (haha). I then had a few months of being really fucking low and depressed about every little thing, that left me even further away from the guys who i used to know as mates. Of course, i was even more motivated to settling a way to escape school and that was a good thing, cause i've been successful in that walk of life, i can't complain.

But i was thinking about it though. This school year (excluding the first month and a bit) has been the worst ever. Just downright fucking awful. I stuck to my guns and refused to be a part of that group, but i done so, when i really needed a large group of mates to help me out, cheer me up abit. As it goes, it's fair to say i relied on too few people far too much, therefore stopping me getting over stuff and getting better.

I mean fair enough, most of them are complete wankers, but we were all good friends, and in hindsight, maybe it would have been better for me to just pretend to like them for the year, to keep doing what i was doing in previous years and have a group of friends whom i could use for my own needs and gain a good few laughs with. It's easy to say that lookin backward though. At the time i just wanted to keep my head down, ride out the last year and get the fuck out of there. Which i did.

It's weird though, i should be pleased to finally be completely rid of them, but i do feel a tinge of sadness whenever i see pictures from their nights out on the internet, or see some convos on facebook talkin about their plans and shit, which i am in no way involved with anymore. Maybe it would have been worth my time to just stick with them and maybe i would have had a more enjoyable time this year.

I Donno though, maybe i've gained something from all of this. No fuck it, i know i have for sure. But was it worth it ? Cause i sure did miss out on a hell of a lot. The truth is, that decision and the Steve Runciman who sat down and decided that this would be his plan of action, and laid out these tactics, were products of their time and there situation. The Steve Runciman that ended up going through with it, over the course of the year progressed, and became a very differant person alltogether. I learned alot as i done it, and although i'd have loved for things to go the other way, i wouldn't change the experience.....

But maybe, just maybe, i would change the route i took to get here, and in doing so would not be looking on my old friends as though they are strangers, living life's distant and unrelated to mine. However, the times up. And them along with sooo many other things i've lost in the last year are now nothing but memories....

So thankyou guys, for allowing me to have these memories, i think that i might just miss you...

I'll be talkin to ya xx

A Series Of Wrong decisions And misguided Intentions..

Overall it's been a good day. Decent exam results, and Celtic going through in the Champions League after winning an away game !!! Six years that's taken like ! But i thought that whilst i had a moment i'd be better to get this all written down. It's kinda a way to work out just what went on this year thats left things so completely differant.

I suppose this all started last summer. I made a decision (almost sub-consciously) that my sizeable group of friends was becomng more of a pain then a positive thing. I'd always been a big personality in school, somebody who was always involved in everything, and a integral part of the 'Team'. I loved it, i really did. However this time last year i got to the point were things had gotten annoying amongst the people i was mates with. The majority of them had really pissed me off over the last few weeks of school, mainly because they (for whatever reason) chose to give my girlfriend of the time loads of shit, and couldn't just accept that i actually did like her ! There were just dead immature about it all, and i realised then that they weren't as good friends as i thought they were. Then when i was in Florida i heard that one of my best pals had been bitching about me for (as far as i can see) no fucking reason ! I just said fuck it and decided i didn't care. It was at that point that i decided, that i didn't need them anymore and that this would be my last year at school.

That was my plan, and it worked. I've left now :) But this year was strange, i more or less dissapeared from view. This of course was all planned and part of my long planned 'scheme'. I had very little to do with anybody from school, excluding the odd person here and there of course, and even during school i kept my distance. I think i had five or six proper days/nights out with school folk this year ! Mad eh. But that's the way i wanted it.

Thing is though, when i made the decision, i made it not just out of dislike and distrust of the main body of my group of 'friends', but also 'cause i had the insurance policy of an amazing girl who i could hang out with and spent my time with, who made me feel proper fucking incredible about myself ! As is obvious though, that didn't last the distance and it kinda left me in a conundrum (haha). I then had a few months of being really fucking low and depressed about every little thing, that left me even further away from the guys who i used to know as mates. Of course, i was even more motivated to settling a way to escape school and that was a good thing, cause i've been successful in that walk of life, i can't complain.

But i was thinking about it though. This school year (excluding the first month and a bit) has been the worst ever. Just downright fucking awful. I stuck to my guns and refused to be a part of that group, but i done so, when i really needed a large group of mates to help me out, cheer me up abit. As it goes, it's fair to say i relied on too few people far too much, therefore stopping me getting over stuff and getting better.

I mean fair enough, most of them are complete wankers, but we were all good friends, and in hindsight, maybe it would have been better for me to just pretend to like them for the year, to keep doing what i was doing in previous years and have a group of friends whom i could use for my own needs and gain a good few laughs with. It's easy to say that lookin backward though. At the time i just wanted to keep my head down, ride out the last year and get the fuck out of there. Which i did.

It's weird though, i should be pleased to finally be completely rid of them, but i do feel a tinge of sadness whenever i see pictures from their nights out on the internet, or see some convos on facebook talkin about their plans and shit, which i am in no way involved with anymore. Maybe it would have been worth my time to just stick with them and maybe i would have had a more enjoyable time this year.

I Donno though, maybe i've gained something from all of this. No fuck it, i know i have for sure. But was it worth it ? Cause i sure did miss out on a hell of a lot. The truth is, that decision and the Steve Runciman who sat down and decided that this would be his plan of action, and laid out these tactics, were products of their time and there situation. The Steve Runciman that ended up going through with it, over the course of the year progressed, and became a very differant person alltogether. I learned alot as i done it, and although i'd have loved for things to go the other way, i wouldn't change the experience.....

But maybe, just maybe, i would change the route i took to get here, and in doing so would not be looking on my old friends as though they are strangers, living life's distant and unrelated to mine. However, the times up. And them along with sooo many other things i've lost in the last year are now nothing but memories....

So thankyou guys, for allowing me to have these memories, i think that i might just miss you...

I'll be talkin to ya xx

Exams Today

Got my exam results through the post today. All positive as it goes, as it stand i got ...

4 A's and a B for my 5 exams :)

However, the B came for drama, which is really fucking annoying as that was one of my better subjects this year, so i really should be getting an A for that !! However i'm certain that cause m prelim was decent for it, i'll be able to get that hiked up to a A grade on appeal. If not i'll be raging ! Cause i generally thought that was a shoe in for a top mark :/

Oooh well, can't complain. Hopefully soon i'll be able to say i got straight A's :D C'mon the appeal haha

I'll be talkin to ya xxx

Exams Today

Got my exam results through the post today. All positive as it goes, as it stand i got ...

4 A's and a B for my 5 exams :)

However, the B came for drama, which is really fucking annoying as that was one of my better subjects this year, so i really should be getting an A for that !! However i'm certain that cause m prelim was decent for it, i'll be able to get that hiked up to a A grade on appeal. If not i'll be raging ! Cause i generally thought that was a shoe in for a top mark :/

Oooh well, can't complain. Hopefully soon i'll be able to say i got straight A's :D C'mon the appeal haha

I'll be talkin to ya xxx

Do It For Me Now

This is a song by The band Angels & Airwaves. The lyrics are fucking incredible !! I thought i really should share it. It's not new, but just amazing !!

Written By Tom Delonge aswel, and that man is a legend !

'I'm Frightened at night and the wind has a roar,

It seeps through the hall and through under the door,

Like the shit that was said,

I can't take it that well,

I give and i give and give and i give and i'm still,

Lost and bone thin from the love that's been starved,

I know it got close but i'm sure it's too far,

From the point of suspence, we know it should be,

The end of that part of our favourite movie,

When the guy grabs the girl, and give her his hand,

Says take me away from this tourturous land,

Cause the grave is set up, the hole that i dug,

I gave and i gave and i gave and i gave you my trust,

Like the time that we kissed and you gave me a lie,

To add to the scene you pretended to cry,

But i'm here and i'm cool, the way that it is,

Just give me a chance and i'll try to forgive.

And i don't know,

And i can't guess,

If it's gonna be okay,

But now my last wish,

Is that you do it with me,

Kiss me here, and hold my hand,

Let me feel like i'm the only one,

I know you can,

Won't you do it for me now.

I've really had it with the rain of the tears,

The predictable storm that has come every year,

And it sneaks in from shore with a bat in it's hand,

i'm trying i'm trying i'm trying i'm trying i can't,

You're a theif and a witch, but i love you to death,

You steal my heart and curse under you're breath,

But the one thing that i can most willingly prove,

Is that when you are gone, i'll be fine without you.

And i don't know,

And i can't guess,

If it's gonna be okay,

But now my last wish,

Is that you do this with me,

Kiss me here and hold my hand,

Let me feel like i'm the only one,

I know you can,

Will you do this for me now.'

I'll Be Talkin To Ya xxx